The Old Gray Mare...

...has to dye her roots a dark color since her entire head is now going gray under those hair extensions that are getting moldy and discolored as Beth is terrified of going swimming since those extensions glued and weaved into that scalp will become one big massive knot. 

Howard Stern is busy with being an ignored pariah over the holiday break in Florida at his White Elephant that he has yet to get a sponsor for and has a temp kitten rescue room gimmick all set up for the tax man to investigate should the need arise. 

Howard was giving passersby a chuckle when he propped his mare up against a wall so she didn't fall down drunk head first in the sand and swept out to sea. Well, it might have made a good story for 2017 for his stale satellite radio show as we wait to see who gets the ax since Howard's budget is normally adjusted downward each calendar year by the head honchos at the SiriusXM corporation who are desperate to get advertisers to pay for the loser Howard Stern channels [100 and 101] as they wine and dine the superstar Andy Cohen who saved the day with his awesome lineup of radio talk show hosts including Sandra Bernhard, who Howard is so jealous of he can't even acknowledge she is now a radio talk show host and is better at it than he is as he stalks the hallways looking like an aged cigarette stick with a paunch and flabby ass.

I know it looks like reigns around Beth's neck but that's her flying

saucer hat since she has to protect all that plastic surgery

from the elements as the menopausal nightmare
shows off that gross lipo stomach and
that fugly Oprah Winfrey-looking dress since she has to
cover up those monster legs from candid cameras from those
passing boats filled with spies from The National Enquirer.

Yes, long ago Howard paid to have Beth airbrushed but it got so expensive he decided to learn the technique himself. Howard knows Beth is ugly but what could he do? He's Howard Stern. Who else could the old guy get to follow him around in exchange for doing crappy kitten shows for the Hallmark Channel claiming it's charity work?

Just like Howard Stern, George Clooney's menopausal nightmare is also pushing for a publicity baby. The Clooney Camp is having a tough time finding a surrogate that looks like they are pro-Palestinian and half-Italian who grifted off their famous aunt until they could latch onto the Hollywood crowd to make them famous.

What about the Stern's friend Katie Lee? Oh, back in the day she was as loved as Beth. Remember Katie had her famous meatloaf dish that she served to Billy to get him to propose and we all heard the story from 2003 that Beth used a giant chicken with lemons up its butt to get Howard's heart racing which eventually led to a marriage proposal in 2007 and Beth bragged about it. Howard must have had images of various objects up his butt too, butt that's another story, right Howard? Maybe save that tale for when you have a ton of dead air on that satellite you're sitting on, like everyday of the year.

Rumor has it back in the day, Miss Lee staged a huge drunk intervention for Billy before their impending divorce so she could use it in court. Billy was furious and the marriage ended with Katie getting property in NY and the Hamptons to sell. According to press reports, she now has a posh pad in Tribeca which is a little too close for comfort to Howard's digs away from the corporate Manhattan apts and Stalag Beth in the Hamptons.

Sooo Howard said he isn't getting Jimmy Kimmel to ring in the New Year with him? Wonder who Howard will harass this year as Billy Joel stocks up on the sauce to immunize himself from the Stern strain of the flu while he performs in Florida for aged fossils waiting for God.

Well, time to close down the blog for the year as I try and contact mom to wish her a happy New Year as we continue to mourn the loss of dad as readers of this blog might remember. We haven't given up hope that he will be found [ref: BFP May 8, 2016, Pajama Games].

DBM w/dad in happier times.

#bethostroskystern #howardstern
#newyears #dameedna #happynewyear

Stern Still Competing with Simon

In yet another desperate and pitiful bid for publicity, Howard Stern's name was mentioned on the December 17, 2016 final episode for the year of Saturday Night Live where Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump portraying the newly elected President of our nation, asked if he could work only three days per week like Howard Stern. Yes, Howard and his employers at Sirius XM are that desperate to make it appear that Howard Stern is relevant, as if the nation actually knows who Howard Stern is and actually have knowledge that the old dinosaur is not retired, but still broadcasts on a satellite somewhere and works only three days per week in between sitting home trying to come up with stunts to get his name in the press and stick cats in selfies and claim it's charity work. 

It was an obscure joke by SNL which airs on NBC which has a contract with the SiriusXM corporation to air The Today Show as well as featuring various aged, unfunny SNL cast members on the satellite channels and it was an inside joke to diss Howard Stern by lumping him in with The Don who has become a buffoon in the eyes of the American people, a celebrity wannabe with all his franchises that go belly-up and investments that have to be sold off and is made fun of in the press. However, the mass majority of the American public have no clue who Howard Stern is other than the jerk who tanked the ratings for "America's Got Talent" (AGT) from 2012 through 2015. Howard is spinning since AGT has soared to high ratings after Simon Cowell took over as the top judge in 2016 and add to that, Simon is livin' it up in Barbados with his gorgeous gal pal and their adorable son and taped a special holiday edition of his hit show AGT to air tonight, December 19 and Howard Stern can't take it.

Howard's an obscure dinosaur that has bombed big on national television and tried years ago to compete with SNL during their summer rerun season with his own talk show. It was an embarrassing amateurish attempt by Howard and it was kicked off the air in record time due to lack of viewers and interest and that it was clear Howard Stern had no concept of the medium of television. Howard finally got his chance at a national TV show when his agent badgered Sirius to get him on a prime time show and he was dumped onto AGT in 2012 and it took four years to get rid of the idiot.

Simon once again steals the limelight away from old man Howard Stern this holiday season who can barely keep anything up in the air nowadays including his wife with the deflating gross breast implants that has one bulging and the other one looking like a Charlie Chunk was taken out of it as shown on Beth's reality show The Real Housewife of Instagram, where the dolt has even less content to fill her long, lonely and boring hours than Howard does.

Howard Stern videotaped his ugly wife Beth Ostrosky Stern, and posted it on her Instagram reality show probably not realizing he was revealing her botched breasts and we wonder why Howard can't afford to fix this mess he calls a wife. 

So what's the Sterns doing? Well, they were snubbed at Thanksgiving by The Don when Beth and Howard's buddy, Old Lady Lois Pope, was at Mar-a-Lago with the Trump Family trying to get them to adopt a dog from her foundation called Leaders in Furthering Education (LIFE) leaving Beth and Howard Stern out in the cold. No pet will be adopted from Beth via her foundation Bianca's Furry Friends (BFF)? Well, Howard was so embarrassed by the snub he reportedly left his Florida mansion early saying something about having to meet his daughters in NY for a Thanksgiving dinner and Beth was left in Florida with her family to be consoled and to pretend she never tried to horn in on the Trump Thanksgiving holiday to begin with.

Lois Pope is campaigning to have The Don

adopt this dog for his son Barron and

be the official dog of the White House

Maybe Beth can parade around a beach this holiday break and Howard can spend hours in his photoshop studio to fix that freak he married and pretend she is not a menopausal moron with no job other than badgering cats and stuffing them in her suitcases for freebie jaunts all over the country claiming it's charity work.

Howard used to be a social butterfly with his first wife and always wanted to hog a red carpet and be famous. There are plenty of photos with his wife ALISON on the Internet [hey, I've got no gag order, I can say her name] with Howard playing like he's a celebrity when he met his rarely vertical pariah who was trolling around NY claiming to be a model when she only got her comp card from a real agency after little Howie bought her one.

So what about Beth's BFF Katie Lee? Gosh, I don't know but spies are abuzz about something going on with those Sterns.

I hope all of you Beth Fans out there have a nice holiday break and a happy new year as we wait and watch to see who the Sterns can bother and badger for publicity while claiming their vacations are animal rescue missions and they get away with it.

#donaldtrump #loispope #katieleefoodie
#bethostroskystern #howardstern #pariahsontheprowl

Beth's Friends Are Turkeys

In the continuing episodic tale that Beth launched on her reality show, The Real Housewife of Instagram called Beth's Friends, she now includes "friends" in her charity gimmick to make herself famous. She wants celebrities or the rich Hamptons clique of homosexuals to participate in her show by posing for photos with animals they adopted or at least post the photo of the animal and Beth likes to take credit for the adoption. In a recent episode of her Instagram reality show, some posh pariah who is a "Beth Friend" sent her a photo and video of how he saved a turkey from being on a dinner plate for Thanksgiving. However, this type of turkey is not commonly used for food purposes since it's a bit on the small side and on the endangered species list as we wonder about the rest of the flock that was left with the farmer. But now the adopter has a colorful bird [other than his bed mate] to wander around the pool area of his posh digs to be a conversation starter. It's a bird normally bred for exhibition called the Royal Palm turkey which is funny because Beth is a Palm Beach turkey. 

Beth's brain is small and endangered too, but she needs content for her reality show since her hubby Howard Stern refuses to fund a television show for the rarely vertical dweeb with the head that is growing from god knows what but that cranial expansion appears to be from various injectables with a mixture of hormones since Beth is stuck to that notion she's a young woman who is still deciding on whether to have a flock of her own even though she has laid many eggs throughout her whole fame quest and is now back to the hen house where Howard thinks she's still fertile because he can't cope with the fact he can't afford a third, much younger wife as all genuine half a billionaires do along with having that second or third family. But hey, the dinosaur is shooting out blanks at this point what with the alleged prostate problems and shooting up with estrogen as he becomes more feminine trying to get smooth lasered skin and tons of plastic surgery so he can still look good in his gowns that he wore on the David Letterman show years ago.

What about Beth's other friends? You know, the hugely overrated singer/songwriter Sting and his creepy rich wife Trudie who decks out in thousands of dollars worth of emeralds from the endangered Brazilian rainforest. Isn't that the reason why she set up her faux foundation to save the rainforest in Brazil and other parts of the globe so she can get the best gems to hang around her neck? Sting likes Howard Stern since they share the same taste in clothes and aged wives yet we wonder if Sting misses Howard's first mrs.

Photo is from the Rainforest Foundation concert in 2010.

Howard and his first wife Alison paraded to Sting & Trudie's rainforest foundation concert in 1994 as we wonder if Beth ever got her photo taken with Howard parading into this same event. It was held on December 14 this year as we wait to see if Beth got her red carpet fix or if she's still dissin' the first wife of the radio dinosaur and pretending to ignore their old life together.

Last month Sting was on the Stern show to plug his annual cash grab rainforest foundation concert and his new CD and Robin was there in a puffed out Goldilocks wig dyed an orange hue. Gee, what happened to Robin's book deal? We know she has admitted that she no longer eats a vegan diet that she claimed saved her life from staged cancer and now eats everything her cook can shoot dead and throw on a plate. Robin was interviewing a bunch of people at the Stern radio studio and even interviewed Beth O and they went to a Broadway musical together. It was to be an autobiography focused on her struggle with being a fat phony liar all her life and how she did an apology tour with people at the studio and the Stern staffers and friends and we thought these interviews would soon be in print. So I guess we just have to watch what happens on that front.

#turkeys #bethsfriends #sting
#howardstern #bethstern
#rainforest

Tagged

Beth Stern worked all day on her makeup and wig for her big night of stalking an Aniston as she and Howard start their big campaign of who they can target to get a invitation to a time share villa in a resort locale this holiday season. Are the Anistons tagged this xmas season? They escaped last year and Jimmy Kimmel was stuck keeping the Sterns occupied.

Yes, Beth O'Nobody was in full force again having no business showing up to anything since she isn't famous for anything but marrying a radio dinosaur everyone thought retired to the unfunny farm in the Florida everglades only to find out the jerk is still on the radio and pretending to own the place when all he owns is that stupid overpriced radio studio that is only used about 12 days per month because he can't afford the staffing and maintenance or a kitchen and keeps to his numerology schedule, you know, the Kabbalah Kook who still observes the Sabbath when he arrives at the Hamptons Hell Hole normally on Friday and leaves early Sunday morning, like around 1:00 AM heading back to his big city attitude where he pretends he lives with Beth in their corporate Manhattan apartment [formerly the Stern pre-divorce Man Cave until the wife's accountant snitched] who locks feral cats in all the bathrooms so Howard has to go to a local gas station bathroom while bodyguards stand around and try to not look like perverts trolling for homosexual men until Howard can sneak back into his village idiot apartment not far from who? Oh, Katie Lee, Miss Cookery who knows all the Goodfellas eateries with the eggplant parm ready and hot and disgustingly greasy since she lives in Tribeca as we wonder the true status of her former mansion in the Hamptons that she won from the Billy Joel marriage debacle and divorce since that gal's a pro all the way and Billy found out too late.

Howard Stern is always photographed in the Hamptons sitting still wearing his coat and reading a newspaper waiting by the door and not moving until the Sabbath is over and he gets to escape via limo back to the big city. No physical labor can be done during the Sabbath pursuant to the film "Fiddler on the Roof". Howard dare not make his tribe angry since he's got a High Priestess daughter of the highest order of straight lesbians who admitted in print in a newspaper article that she does not date men because her father Howard put her off the scent.

ALL of the photos of Howard in the Hamptons show

him doing nothing but pose with a paper during the Sabbath. 

Any airbrushing of the photos he takes of Beth

happen around the Sabbath since it is truly labor intensive.

Back to Beth and her wide-bodied dress debacle she wore to the Jennifer Aniston movie screening on December 5 in New York.

Since Beth has a huge problem staying vertical at parties, so far,
no photos have emerged of her attending
the after-party for the Jennifer Aniston
movie screening on December 5 in NY.

So, who will get stuck with the Sterns this Christmas and New Year's holiday? Only time will tell as Howard scrambles to pretend anyone can stand him but why do you think he started that stupid 112 Productions? To fool people into thinking he has the dough to fund your movie or TV projects so yes, they tolerate the idiot and his stupid wife who failed to market that Yoda the cat book debacle for a third lap around the track. Maybe the Star Wars franchise got sick of the Sterns leeching off of their publicity.

#jenniferaniston

#officechristmasparty

#bethstern

#aloneonxmas

#bethhadbetterlayoffthecigsandfettuccine

Coming Attractions

Do you think if I come back, it's going to be okay by magic? While Beth gets bitten by her feral foster cat and fights off rabies, the real supermodel and superstar Heidi Klum is showing up the Sterns for what they are, power bottom feeders. 

Yes, that's Heidi on the cover of the December 2016 issue
of Ocean Drive magazine, a huge magazine in Florida.
Where is Beth Stern's cover? And what happened to her invitation
to the exclusive Trump resort, Mar-a-Lago? Beth can't get in without
old lady Lois Pope since her two publicity agents fled the coop
after Beth's Yoda the cat books debacle.

Oh, we hope Beth enjoyed her turkey on Thanksgiving, almost vegan, right Beth? How's that going? We haven't gotten any updates about your current diet habits since you were dumped in Florida with your zookeepers in tow with the hubby racing back to the Big Apple for his piece of the pie with his real family.

Gosh, just how is Beth's family doing, I mean, other than doing Freudian slips. Hey ma, you look good here in this wacky skewed picture of yourself!

Happy Holidays Beth Fans

#oceandrivemagazine
#heidiklum
#bethstern
#turkeyburgers
#homealone
#christmas

Intermission

Many people might know that Dame Beth-Man has been publishing commentary about Howard and Beth Stern since 2011, back when I was just known as simply Beth-Man. Throughout the years, people have come to rely upon my almost daily dose of wit and wisdom and are entertained by my photoshops or carefully constructed images as seen on the pages of this blog that you are reading right now. Recently, I have received many comments asking if I care that people have copied the style and substance of this blog and have even used a few of my photoshops and images on their little social media sites claiming to either be Dame Beth-Man or just copying from this blog. A few quotes from Oscar Wilde come to mind in relation to me and this blog: "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness." ... "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."

And now, a special announcement
for all loyal fans of this blog:

#goodbyefornow  #anthrax  #siriusxm
#BethSternthinksthisisarealfanpage #bethsbulbisdim
#ishowardasecretscientologist #bethfanpage
#sarahsilverman #jimmykimmel #coughcough #plugsforhoward

Strut

As Howard Stern is fighting the closure of his kitchen at his satellite radio studio in Manhattan since failing to score a sponsor, he is also facing the fact he has deemed himself a media mogul yet produces nothing but his own selfie paid plugs in the press and paid shout-outs on television by Jimmy Kimmel. 

All Howard does is sit around and photograph Miss Thing he married Beth Ostrosky Stern, who has to soak it in a bath several times per day as he has talked about many times on his satellite radio show where he sits in a satellite dish desperate to come up with show content to entertain his subscriber. Loser Howard even had to produce his own 60th Birthday Bash for Sirius and dragged the production out to four hours so it would count as an actual show per his contract.

So, pretty funny Ms. Whoopi Goldberg now has a new cable TV show she is Executive producing called "Strut" with her business partner that will premiere on the Oxygen network on September 20. It's a reality show about the professional lives of transgender models. Just right up or down Howard Stern's alley. I wonder why he refuses to produce a show like that? I mean, Beth claims to be a globally famous model with zero photos to prove that she modeled anywhere but in New Jersey; was it because she was that gal with something extra? Why no mainstream modeling jobs like in Sports Illustrated or Cover Girl ads? Can't super media mogul Howard Stern broker that deal, I mean, like 15 years ago? Oh, everyone knew Beth's real age [and perhaps gender] and who knows what happened. Howard failed at making his princess a star. Gosh I guess that corporate mansion in Florida is just a weak little time share for the Sterns and he had to let the Kimmels stay there last New Year's. Howard and Beth couldn't score a visit over the Labor Day weekend when everyone thinks he pays to be included on that Forbes list of top earners since he has nothing to show for all that money but a rarely vertical pizza monster who pretends to be asleep while posing for 2 seconds in the sun to fool her fan into thinking that she never had plastic surgery on her face.

Howard fills his empty hours documenting Beth and tapes her doing nothing but pretending to be asleep as the hair grows like grass on her face. I mean, who are these people kidding? Has Ms. Werewolf ever produced a wolf baby or not? What is Beth? She looks like a transgender transvestite hermaphrodite model from Transsexual, Transylvania. Goddamn Howard, there is a reality show in there somewhere and it ain't about Princess Sitz Bath staring at cats before dumping them onto people who live along your freebie charitable limo route between NY and the Hamptons.

Will Whoopi strut her stuff on the Stern Satellite Radio Show this week?

This was a loser Howard Stern Production [photo right], a loser Cushion Source ad featuring Beth and her declawed purebred Persian cat she calls a "rescue". He took Beth's picture for the ad that ran in Hamptons magazine for these factory fug cushions. In exchange for all of Howard's donated time and iPhone flashbulbs to take this fuzzy fantasy photo of his aged wife, the factory cushion company had to donate money to Beth's charity cushion, where she is their paid spokesperson who plugs them constantly anytime she can crash a daytime television show, the North Shore Animal League. Beth got a bunch of these fugly cushions free and has them all over her patio area near the swimming pool as she shows her paid fans on Instagram all the time. Howard Stern produces Beth's free show called The Real Housewife of Instagram, hoping Animal Planet will pick up the show as a TV series. As if. It's all about Beth hopping around like a dope on coke and then passing out for sleeping selfies or sitz bath selfies it's so disgusting and she calls it charity work.

Get a real work product Howard - oh right, like when you tried to be a judge on "America's Got Talent" and tanked ratings from 2012 through 2015. Oh how odd, the ratings have never been higher than in FIVE years, since 2011, and Simon Cowell [a media mogul super producer] hit the ball out of the park for the 2016 summer season.

How much did Howard Stern pay for this headline? Suddenly last year's tanked ratings were not due to Howard Stern the fug failure, but due to competition from Donald Trump. Oh right, sure. Uh-uh. Money well spent, right Howard? Did your fairy god mother tell you to do this since you can't handle the fame of Simon Cowell along with his new adorable son that you don't have? Can't you have anything with Ms. Thing you married other than an annually revised pre-nup? [Yes, I corrected the headline as shown below in red].

The paid press suddenly came up with an excuse to deflect from the fact Stern tanked the show's ratings not only last year, but from 2012 - 2015 - nooo it was not Donald Trump that tanked AGT ratings, it was Howard Stern, as I corrected this news item:

According to Howard's long time companion, fashion designer, stylist, makeup artist, and who had his own bedroom at Howard's former Manhattan penthouse that is now corporate HQ for Beth's kitty cat charity gimmick and Stern's corporate meeting HQ where he wines and dines network execs and his bosses at Sirius so they won't can him like a ham, his best buddy Ralph Cirella stated that Beth got the pre-nup and everything and he got nothing - oh right, since Ralph got a lump sum pay off? Well, Ralph is loyal, he would never speak against his Sugar Weaved Daddy, right? Does Ralph have Beth's European modeling photos? Is that what's keeping Ralph on the payroll when he has no work product? Oh right, he has to pick out which of Howard's underpants match the scarf around his aged neck. Oh but Howard's color blind, right? Needs a color spotter on the payroll, right? Gotta have a guy to tell him red from blue from yellow since Ms. Thing he married can't tell up from down and her football head rolls around on the floor and she can't get up.

Well, it seems Beth didn't make it to New York's Fashion Week this time around as everyone thought she would walk for her buddy who has the Marchesa fashion line, Harvey Weinsteins' wife Georgina Chapman. We know Georgina gifted Beth with that wedding dress she wore of fabric leftovers and it looked like a typical tacky outfit by Marchesa, with either the juvenile ice skater look or the mistress in training.

Beth was going to wear this dress for the Marchesa runway presentation during Fashion Week on September 14, but Beth's body is not really transparent ready.

Supermodel and entrepreneur Heidi Klum was front and center at Fashion Week promoting her show Project Runway, which is in its 15th season. Yes, that's her on the cover of Daily Front Row magazine while Howard Stern was told to take his baggage back home; no one was interested in featuring Beth O'Nobody who couldn't horn in on a plus-one ticket:

How come Beth and Howard weren't on the red carpet for the Emmy Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday? Doesn't Howard have any TV shows in production? Isn't he a media mogul? Nope, none of the above, plus he married an unknown plus sized model from Pittsburgh; hardly in Heidi Klum's league of supermodels.

While Bethie O'Stern has a personal meltdown at her cat prison camp in the Hamptons mauling her "man" Yoda the declawed cat, Miss Supermodel and Super Star Heidi Klum was gracing the red carpet Sunday night for the primetime Emmy Awards gala in Los Angeles:

#bethfanpage #acceptnocopies
#Emmys #AGT #betho  #heidi
#howard  #yoda