Giving It Away

Does Howard Stern or Beth Ostrosky Stern ever give anything away for free? No. Okay, I know you are thinking of Beth's stellar reality show currently being videotaped, audiotaped, and photographed ad nauseam day in and day out on Instagram, but Instagram is giving it away free, not Beth. Beth uses a free site to plug her nonstop self love and trying to convince all those paid cat club members and school teachers who are BFFs of Mommy O that she really was famous before admitting fame defeat and settling down to staring at cats and being a kitty litter shit spotter and scooping it up in record time. Pre-nup clause expired much, Bethie? Howard doesn't need to ghost fund anymore TV shows for you? We know your only steady job is with the Hallmark Channel, Crowne Media, the corporate sponsors of the charity that pays you a salary as their chief fundraiser and useless spokesperson, the North Shore Animal League (NSAL).

Oh, Beth was famous before hooking up with Stern, but famous for what is a different story. A lot of women were like Beth and married their richest client, I mean, boyfriend, no shame in that, it's called telling the truth and working girls rarely give freebies. But now that Miss Beth is off the streets, she isn't spending her own winnings to fund a career for herself and donates zero of her time to do anything with animals since she gets a paycheck from NSAL and from her foundation and never spends her own dough for anything since she has no Trust Fund babies to rely on in her old age.

DBM does not need to tell you the countless genuine celebs who "give it away" many times for free to fans, friends and family. Sir Elton John is known for his annual Oscar party to benefit his AIDS Foundation and he did a FREE concert in Los Angeles on Saturday. Elton is promoting his new album "Wonderful Crazy Night" and did a free live performance on the Sunset Strip for fans with Lady Gaga coming out [gosh, did she perform for free too?] to sing a song with Elton. Elton performed a total of 12 songs under the hot sun and looked pretty wonderful. The bigger they are the nicer they are and the ones with tiny nuts hidden under giant weaved wigs are petty and jealous of the big stars in the world as they fight and claw for a piece of the action only to be shown the exit door. 

The public were treated to a free concert in LA by Elton John at the old location of Tower Records on the Strip with Lady Gaga gracing the stage for a duet with Elton.

There were no surprises this year with Leonardo DiCaprio getting the Oscar for Best Actor yet Chris Rock's opening monologue was overly long because a bunch of people were still stuck outside the theater trying to avoid people picketing the Oscars because African American actors were not nominated and the people picketing against the Catholic church in support of the film "Spotlight" that won the Best Picture award. Of course the lovely and famous supermodel Heidi Klum walked the Oscar red carpet and normally attends the Elton John Oscar party in support of his AIDS Foundation.

Beth used to be a blowup doll and
shows Howard her talent.

What did the Sterns do on Oscar night? Oh the usual, Howard hides in a village while Beth pours over her paid paparazzi photos and selects which ones to frame and place around her house. I don't think Beth wanted to frame this one [right] as candid Beth is very scary. Yes that is Lisa G to the left in the photo interviewing the Sterns when Howard was barging into a taping of the Letterman show in 2013. All of her ass kissing of Princess Bethie did nothing to save her job. She got into a bit of an embarrassing situation at work when she spilled some tea in the back office one day.

Chasing Rabbits

...And if you go chasing rabbits and you know you're going to fall, tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call. Call Alice, when she was just small.

Whatcha smokin' there Beth? Can we join you? Beth's high on that husband mandated Starbucks coffee with Howard pretending he actually stands in line for his own cup of Joe in his invisible man suit. So what's the story here, Beth never goes out, spent all her dough on the good stuff while rolling around on the floor with her wig half in a litter box and half in a meltdown wondering what happened to her big life that Howard Stern promised...hmmm....we might be seeing the expiration of Howard's part of the pre-nup. You know, the paragraph about how he is supposed to make Beth famous instead of just a famous laughing stock and Internet joke with her trail of sad memories of one-shot TV shows and now she lost out on those backstage and audience member shots during the tapings of "America's Got Talent" since the hubby got sent back to the radio and the entire show moved back to Los Angeles. Beth now has the big life doing zero. Oh, she's  a winner, she won the radio shock jock that no one was chasing but she chased him without even driving a car, or does she? Was it that SUV that ran over that feral cat Beth lovingly named Wonky? The one she said she just found in the bushes? Did he freeze to death in the cold weather? Wonky never got no foundation named after him, same with Apple the Cancer Cat, no foundation for him either? Wonder why, I guess she's got her wig full with that foundation for her dead bulldog Bianca taking up all her time. What a joke, raise anymore money honey for that invisible cat adoption center at the North Shore Animal League (NSAL)? Did you forget to break ground or are you just busy breaking wind and shooting the breeze and blowing hot air?

Photo is from Beth's Instagram.

Photo from Beth's Instagram
showing a typical day at Stalag Beth
with Mean Yoda the Cat bullying a
helpless prisoner.

If anyone is a real person out there and not a drone paid to manufacture dozens of fake Instagram accounts marked private to follow and comment on every fart Beth makes all day stinking up her Instagram site posting dozens of photos of herself and a few of her latest prisoners, you know that Beth constantly barks orders at her captured selfie photo prop cats telling them to get to bed or get back into the cat foster room. Beth likes to play a cruel game by leaving the foster cat room door open and baiting the cats to escape. They will venture into the lonely hallway of Stalag Beth in the Hamptons while Beth cackles when her bully son Yoda the Cat runs after them and swats at them until they are caught and thrown back into their wire cage in the foster cat room. It's quite a pathetic Instagram reality show performance. Wonder why the Bravo cable channel hasn't picked it up as a regular series.

This is the real story of Yoda the Cat that you won't read in those phony books Beth selfie publishes in the guise of charity work when all of her proceeds from the sales of those books goes straight to Beth, as the chief fundraiser and administrator of her own selfie foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends (BFF). No report has been released of the dollar amount she or Howard have donated to NSAL so that their foundation's name can be slapped on a proposed cat adoption center at NSAL, yet Beth happily collects dough from the public to fund the cat center themselves with her taking credit for everything. Beth collects donations for BFF and claims to hand it over to NSAL, so why the middle man? Why not just give a donation directly to NSAL? Beth is collecting money, taking a salary via BFF and giving a portion of the donated funds to NSAL who is at a snail's pace allegedly working on a cat adoption center. Hey, I don't draw the plans, I don't make up the blueprints for a steady cash flow. I just follow the funding of Beth's rarely vertical lazy ass life.

So what about Simon Cowell? Oh, he is very open and honest about his charity work and when he donates his time and money to a charitable cause.

Howard's got his groupons all printed out for Lure Fishbar in Miami. We sure hope he gets down there before they are all eaten out as the Food Network & the Katie Lee Hookah Channel hosted an oyster bash on Friday at the South Beach Wine & Food Festival. I just love a hairy monster shucking oysters at me before I barf and run out of the room.


Yep, she was there of course, Princess of the Hotel Bar scene where the aged pop rock stars just fall off the shelf and land right into your lap ripe and ready for marryin' and divorcin'. Katie was showing off her skills mixing shit with fake milk and plastic.







Gosh, a real hookah-smoking caterpillar was there too enjoying the festival.

Beth tries to cover up her bad skin with more greasy makeup when it would help if she actually washed her face once in awhile instead of haunting the hallways all night chasing those screams that are all in her head.

Oh, we just love Gigi Hadid gossip don't we.

The Oscars are Sunday night and I hope everyone is a big winner. We can't wait to see if Heidi shows up this year and stuns partygoers with her stunning gowns.

Slick

The gorgeous Grace Slick was one of the first celebs to come out publicly as an animal rights activist and was against products and medicines being needlessly tested on animals, which equated to torture for the animal before it died a horrible death. Grace was the real thing, beautiful and talented and smart and was not a rarely vertical talentless selfie monster whose daddy had her escorted to New York while he barely escaped a prison sentence if he didn't decide to suddenly retire from his dental practice and surrender his license to state authorities. Too bad Beth was such a fug and could never support herself on sheer creep, but there really is no market for a creep other than in D List underground horror films for nerds who think they are buying snuff. I mean, it's not the parents' fault they produced such a pariah. But looks and talent aren't everything yet Beth doesn't have either which is quite amazing that she met and married a radio oddity, a fixture, a relic, a man who is proud to still be stuck on the radio after years of struggling to break into television and being sent that same letter that he gets in the mail addressed to his super agent and super daddy figure DB...something like: "the network is going in a different direction and will not be renewing your contract; thank you and have a nice day".

Gotta hand it to Howard, this is the best 112 Production gimmick he ever thought up, a bloated selfie monster with her own reality show on Instagram who thinks all those little auto-comments that are instantly posted means she's a superstar, well, you are honey bunny! Keep it up, there is a spot in the fame world for a menopausal bloated butt face who keeps pushing cats into a camera and calling it charity work. Sometimes you have to create your own success even though a million other people are Instagram stars too and love posting kitty cat photos, although most are under 15 years old. And look at her weirdo eyebrow in that photo on the right, like the scalpel slipped.

When will Stern decide to finally hang up those headphones and get a real job in show business? Ha, just cracked myself up, well, Mr. Starbucks needs to find a new hobby as his outright storytelling [dare I say lying?] is getting to be sickening. Oh, right, he parades into a Starbucks and no one knows it's Howard Stern and not one photo ends up in Page Six. Okay fine, we have to bite the big apple here, where is the joke, Stern? The punchline? There isn't one since he fired everyone and has to come up with some stupid topics to rattle on about to fill about four hours of commercial time on Sirius satellite radio when all the action is happening on Radio Andy, Channel 102 on SiriusXM just sneaking up on those Stern channels, isn't he now. Hey now.

Who could forget the debacle that was Howard's interview show on the original E Channel on cable when it was just starting out. Howard used that same stale ugly purple couch [like the one he has now on Sirius] to interview celebrities when Stern kept staring blankly into the camera with strict orders given to the cameraman to focus on Howard, giving him the close-ups on cue and directing the interview to being all about him, oh how funny. Well, the E Channel put a stop to that and quick.

Grace is also a talented painter, something Howard Stern has been trying to do since he copies everyone, he has no original idea in his head, he has to suddenly turn to doing painting and drawing since he has to pretend he doesn't care about working when the reality remains he is getting zero job offers aside from sitting and talking on a satellite. His agent, however, continues to badger everyone to put Stern's facelift on television, but hey, Stern had his chance. His last ditch attempt at fame was given to him by NBC since they partnered with Sirius satellite radio with airing their shows like The Today Show on satellite, so they gave Howard a spot on "America's Got Talent" since it was only a summer filler show, what harm could he do? Well, NBC found out as the show's ratings were falling faster than Beth's ass. Well, it all failed since Howard is just hopeless and needs to hang up the wig and microphone and call it for what it was, a long drawn out joke, he is played out and needs to be benched.

Rosie O'Donnell was on Sirius for awhile and had a talk show on the Oprah Winfrey Network yet failed to find an audience and was canceled. But didn't she broadcast at some point out of her home in Florida or maybe the New York area? Now you know where Howard got the idea from since he is desperate for a corporate sponsor for that cosmetic surgery center in Florida while housing a few cats in that foster room and Beth can get some photos of herself with a cat so the whole thing can be a cat rescue mission paid by the charity that employs her, the North Shore Animal League, along with Sirius picking up a Charlie Chunk of the production costs which would be a cost savings to the satellite company.

Actual photo of Rosie doing her show on Sirius satellite radio.

Oh yeah, Howard working from home, now that would be great, it would provide some much needed content in between those commercials. I mean, we have got to hear all about how Beth never got her big break in show business since everyone was jealous of her. Howard is terrified of being sent home to telecommute. He would get zero guests except Beth and her current "rescue" cat but I doubt Sirius will sponsor Howard's money pit, including his Florida fortress.

Dirty, Not Sexy and Not Funny

Since Howard Stern was forced to re-sign with Sirius satellite radio [or face sitting home and doing nothing but live with that thing he married, the selfie monster who has nothing to do all day but stick her face in her iPhone camera], it seems the stars are running to the other talk radio shows on Sirius like Radio Andy, Sandyland, and that Dirty, Sexy, Funny show with Jenny McCarthy, along with her husband who have a reality show on A&E cable television. 

Jenny McCarthy posted the photos below on 2-23-16 with her guest Lisa Rinna and a Tarot Reader to the stars. No Lisa Rinna on the Howard Stern satellite radio show? Did Howard get to pre-record any phony interview with her yet? I bet Howard would have liked a Tarot reading too from Tory but it might confuse his brain housed inside that cheese whiz weave since he would have to check first with the High Priestess of the Stern family, the Goddess Emily of the New Age who scares off men because she doesn't shave under her arms and had plastic surgery but denies it.

Melanie on Sandyland Radio.

Melanie Griffith didn't want to stop by the Howard Stern satellite radio show? I bet she would have fun stories about that movie called "Jane" circa 1997 that never got off the ground since Melanie found out Howard was cast and she backed out causing the producers to lose financing and the project was abandoned. True to Howard's scumbag form, he sued and was awarded a reported $50,000 to go away. So ended the big movie career of a loser that doesn't know he's a loser and should take whatever is offered him or not offered and go away quietly.

Sandra is featured in a Marc Jacobs fashion campaign and not Beth O.

Brooke Shields stopped by the Sirius satellite studios in January and seemed to forget to stop by the Stern studio even though, according to Kathy Griffin, Brooke hates Howard since they talked behind her back and said her mother Teri Shields was a loud drunk at Brooke's wedding to Andre Agassi. Oh well, I guess the real model Brooke just is too jealous that Howard married a pudge from Pittsburgh with the horse blanket and cow modeling photos from 1996.

Beth provides hair extensions updates on her
reality show on Instagram.

Where is Howard and Beth's reality show? Oh, they think those stupid selfies are a reality show and that Instagram is a television channel. Beth is alone and lonely at Stalag Beth in the Hamptons throwing cats around a room before tiring of the whole mess and locking them inside the wire cages so Beth can wobble back to her bathtub and those disgusting sitz baths where her selfie assistant has to help the monster into the tub and has to pose a cat around to pretend they are not kept under lockdown in the cat room on the first floor off the pool area because they are not a part of of the main house that is the primary residence of Beth and the O'Brother clan.

2-21-16, Heidi was a host of the 2nd Annual
Hollywood Beauty Awards benefiting
Children's Hospital of Los Angeles.

Oh, Howard's dirty but not much else, if that's your thing but it seems the celebs are flocking to Andy, Sandra and Jenny, and praying they don't get stuck with Stern and have to listen to how famous he is and how he did a film 50 years ago and wonders why he got dumped from NBC's "America's Got Talent" as if he doesn't know you have to catch him off guard and create a diversion. So the show was being moved back to Los Angeles and Simon Cowell was all set to appear as a judge on his own show and even coined the phrase the FANTASTIC FOUR, meaning himself, Howie, Mel B and superstar Heidi, who is really big right now and is constantly globetrotting which does wonders for publicity for AGT.

Howard does nothing, appears nowhere, he has no life, no TV show, no nothing except that nothing wife he married, so he isn't marketable anywhere except to mole people living underground in bunkers thinking the world ended and all their satellite dishes can get is the Howard Stern show.

So, what about Beth? Beth is an animal activist as long as it doesn't interfere with her lunch dates with her liquor bottle or interfere with her latest custom order of giant tranny shoes for both she and Howard to parade around the living room and pretend they have friends. Beth writes on her blog about keeping your animals indoors during cold weather and could care less about an animal rescue group trying to save dogs from freezing cold NY temperatures. Nope, Beth can't be disturbed from her useless job of reading apps already approved by the North Shore Animal League to adopt cats that Beth can hijack for a 10 day photo shoot at Stalag Beth in the Hamptons before dumping them onto a few dopes. 

Yep, you guessed it, so far, Beth has ignored the item above on her big fan Facebook site since Beth is super important on her reality show called Instagram where she posts those useless cat photos showing her pointless existence as the hired hand on the Stern Stooge Ranch in the Hamptons on her mouse wheel of monotony.

How Howard Spent His Vacation

We suppose Howard Stern is back from vacation and was super busy bothering people and we think he might have all his stupid boring bits pre-recorded for the next few weeks of his satellite radio show since he has no content, so he needs to take breaks to tape a bunch of stuff and let the news of the world pile up so he has some content for his stale satellite radio show consisting of Howard basically talking to himself with Robin Quivers, his long time dummy propped up in a glass booth cackling at all of Howard's racist and sexist jokes through the years, who now broadcasts her news items via telephone wires to her fridge while she sews more Asian noodles into her wig cap. 

Beth has moron courage to keep
posting selfies on Instagram as she
throws more wood on the fire to cook
up a mess of fish for the Cat Butt Club
members who think fish are vegetables
and selecting what color you want
your genuine leather Gucci bag dyed
means your an animal activist.

Howard has had to tone down his antics and stop insulting celebrities since he is now solely responsible for the content of his radio show and is solely responsible for making that cross-eyed bleached blonde he married a star. So, it's on to the ass kissing of people like Kathy Gifford, Hoda Yoda, just about anyone who is on television to beg them to take Beth and let her have her 2 minutes of fame every four weeks or so, give or take a bit of payola. Hey, no shame in that, it takes money to make a star out of nothing, and Beth is filled with nothing, well, almost nothing, aside from those nerf balls stuffed in her bra and straw in her head to snack on during those long days hanging around the barn getting shod. But, Big Beth was busy in Boob Town over Howard's vacation and she has missed a few days of posting those headless Howard selfies as if that proves anything. Howard doesn't live in Crazy Town, he only visits for a torturous 2 night stay delivering Beth more meds and handing her a schedule for the week of all the dresses he saw on the runway that he wants her to order online. We notice Howard is normally missing from Crazy Town during the work week even when he is on vacation [ha] as if he can ever take a break from his fame quest.

Beth Fans do miss her dress fights and her attempts at copying what celebs are wearing to get some space in the tabloids. Like this number below where she tried to copy Ali Larter, I think. I just don't know what Beth does to a dress, it looks weird as usual.

Howard is now a pro ass kisser and would never report on any gossip about his Cabo buddies, right? As if Howard thinks marrying a gender confused woman would be a sure fire hit with Clooney's wife, well, I just don't know what to say to that. As far as the item below, it might open the door wide open for the Clooney/Gerbil relationship to get serious but that harridan wife of Clooney might have a different idea.







A little big man told me that Howard has been busy flying on the bicoastal wave chasing down a few jobs and we hope the poor guy was successful since it took him about 50 years to finally get on a prime time network and it lasted a big four summers so that is something Howard can look back on when he becomes a permanent basement dweller in Beth's prison camp for snatched cats already scheduled for adoption since she would kill herself if she actually got stuck with cats she couldn't market and use in her fame quest.

Howard was also spotted in Los Angeles where he heard NBC was having an open casting call. Howard has been badgering Simon Cowell to appear via satellite as a guest judge this summer on NBC's "America's Got Talent".

Have a good weekend Beth Fans as DBM is busy with someone tied to the bed. I mean, DBM is kind of tied up this weekend but remember that all fans of this blog are appreciated as I spend some time relaxing and reading by the pool while thinking about what to wear for the evening, a blonde or a brunette?