The Hunger

You know, the people who live by night, the vampiras, night crawlers, that are hungry to live forever and hang onto their youth and beauty. 

Which brings us to the untimely death of a preserver of youth, Dr. Bizarro, excuse me, Dr. Brandt, who had long given up jogging and going to the gym and existed indoors doing yoga, eating only nuts and fruits, in between shooting up stars' faces. 

Dr. Brandt had been recently rumored to have been thrown into a severe bout of depression and was supposedly upset with that unfunnyman Martin Short, who did a parody of him on the Netflix series "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt". 

Dr. Brandt's bedroom inside his 3-story townhouse
in Coconut Grove, Miami. He collected paintings
and sculpture in his Miami and NY properties.

Dr. Brandt was known for his research with Botox, fillers, and other age-defying skin treatments that are also commonly used to treat facial wasting for AIDS patients with the doc being the prime user.

Gosh, was the doc's show still on SiriusXM? I guess there is now
a hole in programming or maybe they will air reruns of the broadcast
 from the aged dermatologist who didn't look a day over 89 thanks
to tons of Botox and filler injections over a 50 year period.
I bet Beth is panicking now; who will make a house call in Palm Beach
at her newly acquired personal surgery center?

But first we had Chelsea Handler dissing the E Channel [NBC/Universal] with a ton of fighting behind the scenes and in between the sheets until she landed a multi-million dollar contract with Netflix to do her own show; will it survive without a body count?

Then we had Bill Cosby with a deal with NBC which quickly dropped him from their show lineup after dozens of abuse and rape allegations surfaced about the aged comedian who was wooden and bland in front of cameras and was also pushed onto Netflix, but now that deal most likely will never materialize as Camille stands by her man and nobody cares at this point.

Now we have the hanging death of Dr. Fredric Brandt suspended from a million dollar piece of work in his garage with a yellow cord around his neck and a white towel. Well it seems his "house guest" went too far, and what started out as a way to ease his depressive state ended up with the doc becoming a priceless piece of work himself. Now he's singing with the angels and is assigned with keeping their wings young and fresh-looking. Oh, yes, that Dr. Brandt Netflix character played by Martin Short and his prosthetics, much like the prosthetic wearing Howard Stern, which is never funny but just odd.

NBC had major regrets about "Unbreakable" and was back pedaling on the deal and stalling by saying they were trying to find a time slot for the series. The creators sought out Netflix to air the show and NBC agreed to sell it to Netflix, which has minimal viewership, with network and cable TV having more than three times the viewers. But, Netflix is still going strong and they are streaming original shows and other movies and TV programs all over the globe, oh, and in Cuba, that coveted market of people still driving 1957 Chevys. Hey, I would never knock an entire country, but I mean, come on, Cuba and Netflix? Omg.

Beth O'Vampiro is rarely seen in broad daylight. She lives by night and normally sits inside her Hamptons Hideout since her husband lives with trendy village people in NY because he's having major problems dealing with being old.

Beth is sequestered to her Hamptons home because Howard doesn't want to be embarrassed having Beth on the loose and bump into him running around with his long time companion Ralph Cirella as well as some, umm, models to pose as flowers for his newly acquired hobby of doing watercolors [even though Howard claims to be color blind yet paints in color]. But this is all normal for a 60+ DJ who is married to a self proclaimed hot model yet he fights to come up with hobbies to occupy himself and have an excuse to ditch her.

Photo below was posted on Beth's Instagram 4/6/15. Beth is hiding all her plastic surgery from the CA sun as she horns in on a family with human children taking a break from her dying cat Apple in the Hamptons. We see Beth had time for sun blocking pancake makeup on that aged face but needs a new dye job on her naturally blonde hair that is turning dark in LA with the gray roots...what? No hair stylist followed Beth to LA? Where is Stern's AGT entertainment budget? No Ostrosky family in LA to be at her beck and call? Stern needs to let loose of some of that dough he is getting from AGT but he can't stop wining and dining Ralph and Ronnie to keep them from feeding blind items to the tabs.

Photo [right] was posted on Beth's Instagram on 4/6/15 with Beth looking like a fathead wino in Los Angeles this week; does she sleep in those hats and prescription eye wear? I can barely see those weird bags on the lower eyelid, gotta hide that lasix correction, no makeup for awhile honey, oh, and hey Beth, your lips are deflated. My gosh, where are Beth's personal dermatologists in LA??

We hope these gal pals have time for some girl talk about Whit's alleged shemale fetish while in Los Angeles, right Whit & Beth?

Broken Vows

Fuck those vows! Howard is in Hollywood and
so is Beth Horninsky trying to be famous
after a lifetime of obscurity. Who will make
Apple comfortable now that Beth's
selfies are vacationing in LA?

Vows are for suckers as Beth O'Horninsky is off to the races in Hollywood this week to jump in front of some cameras as her husband is working on that D List summer filler show "America's Got Talent" (AGT) with his long time companion Ralph Cirella pasting skin on his face and taping that wig in place to make sure the aged DJ is camera ready for a show few will tune in to see this year, what with tons of other summer fare to choose from. Beth couldn't stand to be ignored and followed Howard to LA and had to post a selfie hiding that hair until Ralph can glue on fresh extensions and Beth can get some bleach for the roots as she dons combat gear to fight off reality.

Selfie dated 4/4/15 with Howard daring anyone
to find a scalp in between that thicket weaved wig.

The AGT gang that's fighting to bring
in the ratings, 4/2/15, in Pasadena, CA.

The AGT gang were in attendance at the annual press event for the upcoming shows for the NBC Universal corporation on April 2, 2015, sans cheapo Stern, who knows he has no future with NBC so why put up a front attending the press party and pretend they will get him anything else once AGT is officially in the can and flushed for good.

David Duchovny with alien glued-on
hair, 4/2/15, Pasadena, CA.

David Duchovny was at the NBC Universal press event to plug his limited run TV show "Aquarius" about an undercover cop tracking down Charles Manson and the Manson Family before the gruesome murders took place, oh wow, I think I'm busy during those 13 episodes.

The death house overlooking Benedict Canyon where actress Sharon Tate and four guests were brutally murdered. It was purchased by an investor following the murders but was eventually destroyed and the address of the site was changed; the house was rumored to be haunted.

Aside from "Aquarius", everyone knows that David is resurrecting the X Files sans all the great hair he used to have as he is now sporting a scientology auburn hair piece that he acquired at their last sale at the Celebrity Center.

Aliens snatched Fox's original great hair
and this time around we will see
if he ever gets it back for the limited
six episode run of The X Files.

Dana Scully did not show up at the NBC press event since the X Files in on the FOX network, yet she remains as photogenic as ever defying her age of 46 years old, which proves how old Beth really is as she looks haggard and ugly as she fights to get an appointment with expert Hollywood plastic surgeons who have her on ignore since they failed to find her on the list of celebs but was quickly found on the giant nobody list of wives of failed tired old satellite radio DJs.

Gillian Anderson attended the pre-BAFTA dinner in London, February 2015.

Sean at Wondercon 2015, Anaheim,
stars as Dick Grayson [Robin/
Nightwing] in the
 straight to video animated
movie Batman vs Robin.

We hope Ralph Cirella got his autographed poster of Sean Maher [who is gay and has adopted two children with his partner] at Wondercon in Anaheim this past weekend since we know little boy Ralphie and Howard love to argue over action heroes to satisfy their little boy fetish while the wife is in town shaving her beard sitting in her bathtub three times a day pretending she's sexy for her selfie audience.

We see in the showdown of the Martian vs the Scarecrow, the Martian won this round as Griffin fights to recover from getting kicked off The Fashion Police and spinning a tale that she quit first; so there. The enormous headed Guilliana Rancic is fighting to be the top bitch on the E Channel since Joan Rivers has officially exited the planet.

Will Howard score a meet and greet with Simon Cowell in LA? Simon is threatening to slash salaries for the X Factor judges to score talent like Britney Spears and Beyonce. Will he finally ax AGT for good to fund his British shows?

X Factor 2015 auditions will start in April.

Hope Howard has a happy Monday since Simon has been heard whispering that if the show makes it to the 11th season, he is cutting the AGT judges back to three, and these three are as good as anybody in judging all those animal acts that show up to audition for AGT year after year.

Can Beth's Career Be Rescued?

No. This woman has been trying to be famous her whole life when in 2001, Howard Stern finally hired a personal biographer, a snitch, a follower, to post an item in the press about he and Beth, his acquisition he finally decided to accept since nothing better was coming his way. 

In 2001, Howard's paid stooge Jill Martin fed an item to the press when Howard barged up to a table in a restaurant when Billy Joel was dating Trish Bergin, to show off that Howard was dating a "leggy" blonde girlfriend with her full name printed in the item. Funny thing is that Joel has not been able to get rid of Stern since 2001 and Beth's legs look like giant tree trunks.

No one knows why Jill Martin butted in on the taping of "True Beauty" in Las Vegas
and it was around the time of the Sterns' anniversary and Howard horned in
because the entire trip was paid by ABC. It only lasted two seasons and
Beth was on the second season that premiered in May 2010 just in time for the
release of her first book "Oh My Dog" which is how she got that book deal
to begin with, she was scheduled to be on TV and they had hoped people would
know who she was but it failed, she's just the nobody wife of a relic radio DJ.

We know the rumors about Billy Joel and that his girlfriend Trish came home to find Joel in bed with a brunette, and that brunette was Katie Leey. How Joel first met Ms Puggy Lee is up for debate. Some press items state that he met the pug face in a hotel lobby in New York by chance, only to have her set up house immediately resulting in a short-lived marriage which ended before the 5-year mark. Miss Trish did phone into the Stern show years ago to deny that a brief affair she had with Dr. Sean Kenniff, broke up her relationship with Joel. Sean was on the TV show Survivor, as he was a rebound anyway, it was Joel who cheated first, oh, only according to that damn gossip we read all over the Internet.

Mrs. Katie Lee Joel was dumped from cable TV's Top Chef after the first season. Billy Joel's influence can only go so far, and was quickly replaced for the second season. Lee was described as robotic and wooden on the TV show and garnered zero fans. I guess Billy loved the robotic and wooden drone lying in bed reminding him of all the tree trunks he met in the Hamptons while searching for wife number three to keep Brinkley at bay from snatching more dough out of his bank accounts by taking full custody of their trog daughter.

Quite the April Fool, Beth had this
photo posted on Instagram, April 1, to
plug her appearance on the canceled
Meredith Vieira show where Beth
passes off a kitten to an unsuspecting
pigeon kid. Beth holds up the adoption
of kittens until her selfie fetish
has been satisfied #herpurpose.

Once Howard's wife #1 was told by their accountant that hubby bought his own apartment in NY with a cross eyed blonde coming and going, the starting bell rang and we were off to the races to the best divorce lawyers in town; oh right, according to Howard it was a mediator, any psychology would work on Howard.

So, what is next for Beth? She is desperate to market that difficult Yoda the cat she adopted as her son, with the alleged heart ailments that were cured by Beth taking his photo and bothering him constantly to prove she rescued a purebred Persian cat from a phantom person who dumped him at a shelter only to have Beth snatch him up to make her famous #herpurpose.

Photo posted on Beth's Instagram 4/2/15 showing everyone how to cure your cat of a phony heart ailment; bug the hell out of him with your iPhone for a bunch of photos to post on your Instagram site to show everyone you are an ignored pariah with no friends and aren't famous #bethspurpose.

According to old gossip, the actress with the deep man's voice Kim Novak had "testicular feminization syndrome" and was "genetically a male." Are we closer to knowing the truth about the fake high-pitched screechy blonde she-man Howard Stern married? Beth never had a normal woman's voice or a normal man's voice, but learned to speak as a third-grader with the little girl act, aside from that low rent accent she acquired from dating old codgers in Pittsburgh to get rides home from school. But, can a man legally marry a woman who is genetically a man? Is Howard genetically a man? Howard is terrified to address any of this on his stale satellite radio show and instead kills time by snipping labels off all his fat clothes and talking shit about relevant celebs that refuse to do his radio show.

Novak never had children and became an animal lover and is now married to a veterinarian. If Beth was such a childless animal lover, how come she didn't marry a veterinarian? Beth thought she could become a famous model first before becoming a professional animal lover, and it never worked for her because she was ugly with a warped ego, and she will never give up her fame quest no matter how many cats she has to stalk and capture for Stalag Beth.

Hungry for more?

Okay, here's something to chew on this weekend:

Why does Beth always spin out when Howard Stern is in Los Angeles to tape his D List summer filler show "America's Got Talent" (AGT)? How did a no-talent radio DJ get the job in the first place? Howard has nothing to do with show business. Does Beth have a nervous breakdown whenever Stern leaves for his AGT road trips? Suicide threats? General panic that Stern is meeting with divorce lawyers in CA where he stated one of his daughters lives? 

Manic Beth has to stare hard to control that left lazy eye and looked sick when she and Howard got the new "Bianca" tattoos in February 2012 when Stern was in LA taping AGT.  

In 2013, Beth snapped this photo of Howard arriving in Chicago to tape AGT with his features erased to hide his haggard sagging face. Beth was busy plugging her one-shot deal with Nat Geo Wild, "Spoiled Rotten Pets", which was quickly canceled. In LA, Howard got Beth a horninsky appearance on the TV show "Extra" while he was taping AGT. 

Spastic Beth looked like shit again in LA in April 2014 as Beth had a mental breakdown in public and made a fool out of herself dancing around the door at the LA restaurant, Craig's, where she met up with McCormack and Cummings.

For the past few years, Beth and Howard loved to hang out with the Kimmels with Beth looking totally smashed.

It's difficult to capture Beth outside of her normal habitat and is hiding from her selfie camera with Howard in LA. No photos have surfaced to prove where she is; she needs to do another one of her photos with a current newspaper like any victim does to prove to the fam they are still alive and the Botox swelling has subsided.

One of Beth's major meltdown problems is that she needs a new wig. We know Howard would kill himself to not be seen with a blonde, no matter how old the hag gets or how grey her roots are, so here are a few suggestions for Beth. She could do her morning TV show rounds sporting the new wig and plug something that nobody cares about per her usual pariah routine:

The Fool

So where is Howard Stern on his big day? He is in a tizzy getting ready to fly out West for his big week in Hollywood to become famous while taping that scripted reality show "America's Got Talent" (AGT). 

On Tuesday's stale satellite radio show, Howard Stern was so bored you could hear him snipping off labels from his clothes with little scissors like an old woman desperate to hide her plus sizes from the world.




Howard was all in a girly tizzy on Tuesday, about having his long time life time partner Ralph Cirella cut out the labels out of his clothing because it scratches his sagging skin. 

Every girl knows this trick, to cut out labels to hide the size of the clothes since Howard Stern is wearing giant fat sizes to fit over his weird body with the bulging stomach and fat thighs and sagging butt. 

Where does Howard get his clothes? Oh, you know, the fat and tall tranny clothes from the best shops in the East Village, and we know Miss Chubbette still has a ton of free polyester pants left over from her big modeling shoots years ago as she snips out those fat size labels, right Beth? 

Howard salivates over his former model wife
modeling his mother's polyester pants in tabloid
newspapers.

Monster underpants model Beth
at 33 yrs old was launched
by Howard Stern in the
US edition of FHM. No
nudity for this
transsamerican, ummm, gal.

This was of course before Howard Stern paid for Beth's airbrushed phony photos for FHM. Those sexually vague people love to wear sexy lingerie and have an obsession with it. Playboy is not really their thing.

So, what happened to Stern showing up in Vegas to tape AGT? Oh, that was cut since the show has faced major budget cuts aside from falling ratings, and what with the Horninskys partying hard at the Vegas hotels and clubs costing AGT tons of money, suddenly no more Vegas show locations. Howard and the O Family sure took full advantage of Howard's AGT job knowing it wouldn't last so party hard while you can!

Rumor has it the 10th season of AGT will be its last, so Stern might quit before the show quits to save his falling facelift from embarrassment. Either way, AGT needs to make changes if they hope to top the ratings race for summers to come not forgetting Halle Berry is coming back this summer for her space show; Halle's implants or Stern's facelift? Who will win the ratings race?

The CBS sci fi show "Extant" is scheduled to return July 1.

Howard thinks of himself as
Milton Berle, not realizing
everyone knows that Uncle
Milty was in drag in his
private life too and at
many Hollywood parties.
It was not solely an
act for "vaudeville".

Howard loves to compare that shitty reality show AGT with Vaudeville, oh yes, vaudeville, gee, we all want that back don't we? Well that's Howard's mommy's era, and his daddy loved the burlesque dancers having paraded around the house himself many times in drag, much to the enjoyment of the fam, he was one fun guy to be around and his son Howard inherited that fetish. Oh, right, we need more vaudeville in this day and age, it's that over 90 demographic that advertisers are searching for and AGT fits right in with that marketing scheme. Meanwhile, Beth continues to be thinning out the herd as another one of her cats was sick; we know Apple the cat is on her final countdown and now the cat Beth overfed and calls Charlie Chunk is sick. Beth thinks it's so funny to have everyone and everything surrounding her fat so she looks thin.

Gosh, I hope superstar super celebrity Beth has time to fly out to Hollywood with Hubby Howard to turn down a million movie deals. We know she is busy on the East Coast, what with her sleeping corpse selfie schedule with a paid pigeon following her around Stalag Beth capturing her every non-movement. Wonder how many movie deals Howard will get to turn down in Hollywood? Howard is so busy with the prosthetics expert Ralph Cirella pasting rubber pieces onto his shrinking face, I mean, how can you expect such a corporate mogul [on paper] to take on more jobs?

So, Howard announced that he doesn't do fashion photography anymore? Wow, we know no one else who could airbrush his fug wife in plus size fashions and expertly camouflage her overgrown fat head, crossed eyes, hard rock implants, wide ass, huge feet, and overly long arms. I guess Howard will just continue to dole out the 5,000 photos he already took of his dolt and get them published somewhere online as she counts down to the finish line pushing her current group of cats out the door and focusing on getting that Yoda the cat marketed to people who will buy that made up heart ailment story that was cured by iPhone selfies.

Yes, we all agree with Howard. Artwork is much more 
difficult than iPhone photography.