The Sterns have nothing to do and all Beth does is post a bunch of cats running around crazy when they are let out of their cages with Beth inserting bizarre selfies from past years' photoshoots attempting to fool her fan into thinking those homemade modeling photos are paying jobs for real products and are paid modeling shoots when they are none of that. It's just Beth posing around her house. It's very sad, really. I mean, to be a bubble-headed bleached blonde playing model around her house at 52 years old is very sad and we should all be crying for her instead of pointing it out and laughing.
Gee, where's your big Hollywood jobs, Howard? You constantly bragged on your former stale Sirius satellite radio show how you constantly turn down a bunch of offers from Hollywood, turn down movies, turn down voice-over jobs, turn down TV appearances since you are so insanely busy with that radio show, right? Well, now that Witz furloughed you for two months, you could have easily taken some of your big job offers, right? Hahahahahahahahaha. Same with that horsefly that you couldn't swat away and were forced to marry, where are Beth's big Hollywood jobs? Or big TV show appearances? Talk shows? Anything? Anything? Nope.
I guess we will have to wait and watch what happens when Howard returns to his stale satellite airwaves next month and hear all his braggin' about all the big time Hollywood jobs he turned down. I suppose his stale writers are working overtime trying to come up with some braggin' script for Howard to read off when he's back to his bargain basement radio show at his Hamptons Sinkhole where Beth has a full-time job baling out the water while pretending to foster a bunch of photoshopped cats that no one can track and no one knows if/when these cats were available for adoption. I mean, the charity that pays Beth as their useless spokesperson, the North Shore Anima League (NSAL), handles ALL of these cats and adoptions. Beth just poses with them for attention and then inserts her hilarious selfies in between the cat photos where she plays model posing in front of doors or retaining walls or sometimes Howard has her hide her chunky lower body in that sandpit at their Hamptons Hostel & Fundraiser Village where the Sterns invite people over and parade them around the sinking ship showing off a bunch of cats in cages and the guests had better write out a sizeable check to Beth's personal foundation, Beth's Furry Friends, or they can find themselves in irons waiting for a jailer to release them with Howard making that sales pitch for hours on end. Yeah, it's like those sales pitches for time share rentals where you get a free trip yet have to sit and endure hours of sales pitches. That's the Sterns in a nutshell. So, don't fall for it. There are no FREE weekends with the Sterns. You will pay or you can find that front door barricaded until you write out that donation check that goes straight into Beth's Birkin Bag Budget.
Beth has been busy at her Photoshop Ranch in the Hamptons playing doorway model as she has done many times in the past. Howard thinks that by having Beth pose in front of a pattern of wood or cement or other types of natural materials, it's easier to shave down her enormous thighs and make her short chunky legs look long when they're not. I mean, who cares, but it's all the Sterns have to make them happy and show off in front of their aging ignored friends who still think they are in the celebrity game when they just go from one loser TV project to another. But even the Sterns can't get their aged facelifts on TV which is something, but reportedly it's because Stern's handlers pocket most of his dough anyway and refuse to dole any out just so the Sterns can get on TV for a few moments, I mean, no way are those handlers funding a full TV series for those two, no way could they recoup the money from a few sponsors who would be desperate enough to advertise anyway on their show - enter Peloton that Howard used to plug nonstop on his stale Sirius satellite radio show and now Peloton is facing lawsuits for their dumb treadmill equipment. Maybe when Howard pretends to use it he can get in on the lawsuits too.
Yep, all Beth has is playing model at her Photoshop Ranch in the Hamptons to play model when it's just pathetic filler for her Insta-Stale Show she's got on the Internet. We love that giant straw bag Howard put over her head to hide her falling facelift.
STRAW DOG BETH
Beth's Whirlaway Job Update
Beth appeared on the one and only issue of "One Whirl" magazine and guess what guys, they released the same issue two years in a row. Wow, what a neat trick. Yes, I guess they will release that one issue every year now since Howard Stern only paid for one issue and I guess there are no takers for any subsequent issues of this loser magazine thus far. All they post are a bunch of pictures on Instagram, but no issues since that ONE WHIRL Beth issue from December 2020. I guess that's what One Whirl means, they only publish one edition. For the prior blog entry about Whirlaway Beth, see the Beth Fan Page, October 25, 2020, "Dame, Dame, Dame."
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| One Whirl magazine debuted with Beth on the cover in December 2020. Then they re-uploaded it on the Internet with a new publication date of June 2021, which is wrong, it's just the same stale debut issue that was originally released in digital format and limited print copies in December 2020, primarily just for Beth to mail to her family and Howard can attach to his tax return as a business expenditure. |
Tiresome Charity Worker Beth Update
Well, we got no Howard Stern Production again this year of his "Getting Wild" benefit for the Hamptons Wildlife Center which was just a rip-off of the official "Get Wild" event that the Sterns plagiarized as a cash grab for Beth's selfie foundation. See the sidebar of this blog for that information.
The Sterns also never plug anything that they do not benefit from monetarily and failed to publicize the North Shore Animal League's (NSAL) annual fundraiser last year which was a virtual event and is being held again this year online only. The Sterns' capital project with NSAL is complete after they collected other people's money to build that cat center and the Sterns passed off a peanut portion of all donations they received via their Bianca's Furry Friends Foundation to NSAL and that cat adoption center but since that's done, the Sterns have moved onto their own foundation called Beth's Furry Friends so Beth doesn't have to pass off any money to anyone but herself. Yes, as stated before on this famous blog, Beth does still work for NSAL as their useless spokesperson and gets a salary plus raids their donation bins for cat food and supplies so yes, she still is profiting off of all this cat fostering gimmick while hiding the fact that she lives in multi-million dollar residences and for some reason, her pigeon fan thinks she needs the money. Go figure, but yeah, Beth thinks that the public should fund her cats-in-cages gimmick and she doesn't have to get a job to fund it.
Keep sending those Sterns cash so they can keep posting selfies of themselves on Beth's Insta-Stale Show where they do nothing and expect the public to fund it.
Muskrat Global Takeover Update
Elon Musk is launching those satellites into outer space like there's no tomorrow and if we can count on him, there will be no tomorrow. He is a busy worker bee working on connecting all those satellites that circle the globe in a giant radiated net like us being in a giant microwave oven yet he can't get his shit together and make a decent car. Yeah, we're really counting on him to transition the globe into a new computer robot age where the humans will be obsolete and the robots can do all the work providing they don't bump into each other and into the electrical grid and electrocute themselves into oblivion. I guess we'll have to watch what happens on that front as Elon glues more hair on his head while pretending he's still young and not an old fart who manufactures offspring in a lab.
America's Got Talent Update
Reportedly, Howard Stern has finally stopped bugging Simon Cowell to let him be a guest judge on his famous NBC show, "America's Got Talent" while Heidi Klum continues to steal the show with her amazing bombshell good looks. Heidi is 48 years old and looks 28 while Beth is 52 and looks 58.
Yes, folks, Howard actually bagged Beth! Yes, he photographed Beth with a giant straw bag over her head because she's so ugly and Stern knows it!!! My gosh, Beth, give it up. Your left lazy eye is out of control and all that sugar you consume isn't helping. Maybe just retreat into your fridge filled with ice cream and soda and go into your sugar coma and stop badgering cats in a lame attempt for fame and sympathy.
Howard actually put a bag over Beth's head.
Hey, Beth, that horsie feedbag goes under your chin, not on top of your head.
Andy "Savior of Sirius" Cohen Update
Andy's got yet another book that he's written and it's a runaway bestseller featuring quotes from some of the famous women he knows but it doesn't seem to include Beth Stern which is a big shocker since she is a famous Hamptons Cat Cager & Bottle Washer.
Dame Beth-Man Update
The famous Dame Beth-Man is currently appearing around the country via a Zoom only platform to participate in virtual book signings and readings. Her famous book "Dame Beth-Man Never Came Before" came out in 2019 [see the blog sidebar and click on the bio for info about the book] and she has been asked to talk about it and do public readings and take questions from invitation-only paying fans.
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