Well, it is a thing, or things, from outer space but the globe doesn't want to clue people in and prove the Beth Fan Page has been right since day one over a year ago. Yeah, everyone reads the Beth Fan Page and not one world leader will admit they can't get enough of the selfie succubus Beth Stern and her has-been hubby as reported by Dame Beth-Man including other juicy gossip about a host of celebs on lockdown or who are just locked up and pretend to be free allegedly like Howard Stern.
Howard's stale Sirius satellite radio show is still going strong in his Hamptons basement with Howard reportedly spotted sneaking around NYC or sequestered in his other basement abode in Florida where he and Beth get their regular Botox bump-ups and scour the news to see if their paid publicity pieces have been published. That's all the Sterns have at this point, just paying for publicity while Beth continues with her IG show tossing stray cats in the air and having Dr. Jackie the Joke Vet come to the house for donuts and coffee after she kills a few cats in the basement and they are dumped in the ocean. I guess the neighbors must be lovin' living next to those Sterns. Beth bops around like a Botoxed beetle staring over the hedges of the neighbors' houses asking if they've seen a stray cat with Howard hiding his Nobu cartons in the closet pretending to be on a diet that doesn't involve Vodka and tonic with disgusting shrimp and pasta pot meals.
Covid Corner
The Covids have been helping in the effort to vaccinate humans against them and provide Covid Passports to people who want to travel on spaceships so they won't get sick being transported to their home planet where they will be fattened up in a lockdown facility waiting for harvest. That's the reason for all the planet Earth lockdowns is to get humans used to being indoors and not being allowed out except for emergency beer runs where they wear a mask so they don't get sick and contaminate their bodies with anything that might make Covids sick when the humans are finally ready for dinner, or to be their dinner.
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| Covids are helping out at vaccination sites near you. |
Coded Fashion Update
No one is sure what Deep State messages these celebs are trying to convey with the matching sweaters but we hear Beth Stern is busy ferreting out a copy to copy from the celebs and get her picture taken so Howard can get it printed somewhere on the Internet so Beth can get her publicity fix to pretend she's a thing - well, she is a thing, but not something, not anything really.
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| Tanya Taylor Bella Knit Sweater Top |
White House Takeover Update
We are all glad that the super team of Mighty Joe Biden and Norma Kamali Harris are on the case to stop Covids in their tracks as all medical science can come up with to solve the health crisis is wearing masks hoping Covids won't recognize we are human and just pass us by while Kamala continues her telephone terrorism of phoning all the world leaders much like Howard Stern who is also always on that telephone badgering people to get him back on TV, yet Kamala badgers people making sure they know she is the reigning VP of America while Biden has brain chip fits. Kamala is also reportedly phoning every person she knew in school making sure they know she has made it to the second top spot in America and when they slam the phone down she keeps track on her jealousy chart ranking them from 1 to 10. The ones who do talk with her are considered the lowest jealousy rank of 1 and the ones who hang up on her are of course at the top of the jealousy chart ranking 10.
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| Mighty Joe Biden has been stuck in his office for three weeks wondering how to navigate that area rug. |
Stuck Barge Update
Howard Stern is almost like a stuck barge that's plugging up the Sirius canal because his channels are just sinkholes of mud that's clogging up the satellite channels with some has-been celebs getting stuck in the Stern mire. People get Stuck with Stern and you barely hear from them again and Sirius really doesn't know what to do with Howard and his stale channels. But, the stuck enormous cargo ship that's in the Suez Canal is weirdly called the "Ever Given" which is similar to Hillary's Secret Service code name "Evergreen" and it's on the side of the barge and that's about as interesting as the story gets. They are trying to claim the weather is at fault for the stuck barge but most agree it was human error.
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| Government leaders are currently interrogating the alleged perpetrator that caused the giant cargo ship to go off course and become beached and getting stuck. The captured Captain stated he was just taking a few guests on a three-hour tour and the weather started getting rough and the mighty barge was tossed. If not for the courage of his fearless crew, the "Ever Given" would have been lost. |
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