4 For Failures

Pretty funny how much alike Howard Stern and Donald Trump are, with their big four-year money deals and then they're fired because domestic ratings tanked and in The Don's case, global ratings tanked. Howard got his Sirius deal with their corporate partner NBC and was a judge on "America's Got Talent" for four years  when the show packed up and moved from NYC back to L.A. leaving Stern shot back to his stale Sirius satellite while Donald got his Presidency gig for four years too and is now shot back to his corporate take-over job slapping his name on stuff and claiming he built it while still hunting down Rosie O'Donnell to stop her from saying he's broke while Howard buys more row boats for his sinking Hamptons Hellhole hoping to hang onto that satellite radio gig until he can sell off his properties and move to Florida downsizing to a houseboat offshore from reality.

Howard did actually have the nerve to show up to begin his next phase of the Sirius countdown into oblivion as the flailing satellite company thinks that keeping Stern on board will somehow gain points with tourists from Middle America who want to visit the Big Apple once the Covids stop running the streets and causing havoc as celebs continue to get their pictures taken by paid paparazzi showing up to snap them hiding their faces with masks hoping Covids won't recognize them as being human but tuna wrap sandwiches because Covids hate fish.

Following are a few excerpts from Stern's first week of stale satellite radio shows direct from his bargain basement radio shack he calls home 2 and a half days a week.

Beth's Home Quarantine Update:

Beth's been a busy bee around her Hamptons Hovel repurposing her old wigs. But we're not sure which came first, the mop or the wig.

Covid Catcher Update

As the Covids keep mutating, Dr. Anthony "Fun" Fauci continues to plagiarize ideas from the original "Star Trek" episodes. At least he's having a good laugh about all this. Yeah, he loves the mask idea. Since we're all suffocating in the supermarket fighting over the last bit of bread crumbs on aisle 4, Fauci is thinking up ways of having oxygen infused in the mask while his mates in the senile group home design paper airplanes so they can escape from the nurses who are trying to catch them to inject them with a placebo vaccine and tell them it's to fight covids.

This is the Fauci Future, wearing masks to work underground like in this Star Trek episode, "The Cloud Minders".

Team Beth Fan Page Update

My think tank of brilliant minds is coming up with ways of hiring a new team of innovative creators to write the Beth Fan Page but since their oxygen is cut off, it may take more time than expected.

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