Shampoo Dreams and Rinse Nightmares

Howard Stern, or his stale show writers, obviously read my last blog entry dated August 16, 2020 "Tuesday's Child" about how apparently Howard retired "Beth Tuesday" that's been a fixture on his stale satellite radio show since 2014 and he just retired it in January 2020 only to find that it's back this week. What a giant coincidence!! Uh, no. Howard has nothing original inside that permed weave of his that gets shampooed by his handler every week and sometimes all the soap doesn't get rinsed out of his empty head.

So what happened this week? Did we get Beth Monday and Beth Wednesday? NO. We only got Beth Tuesday because Howard wanted to prove me wrong, but all he proved was that he reads my blog. Now, Stern is on vacation because he doesn't have enough content to work everyday and every week of each month so Sirius just cuts the lights, camera, and stops the action so Stern can go back to bugging celebrities to let him back on television.

Poor Howard Stern, he really thought he could break free from the stale routine his satellite radio show has been in for the past 14 years and thought he could get Sirius to turn his stale satellite radio show into a real talk show along with a house band, live performances, and guests that are under 60 years old. It seems Howard's monthly video appearances by Dr. Agus the Covid Chaser have already stopped since I guess the doc caught on that Howard is not paying him a dime to appear on camera during Howard's radio show while Howard gets free medical advice.

On Monday, August 17, 2020, stale Stern satellite radio show, we got a Covid lockdown update from a man who has nothing to do but talk about Covids. Without the Covid invasion, Howard would have nothing going on in his stale life. Now he can corner Covids in his house while Beth throws a net over them and she can foster them in Stern's basement that's starting to form quicksand in the corner because the house is sinking as Sirius is waiting for the phone lines to go dead.

Excerpts [comments in red are by this blogger]:

Howard: "Hey now. Good morning, Robin. Good morning to you all, whoever's here with us. A lot of people don't get up early in the morning anymore because they're not commuting to work with Covid-19. I was trying to figure out how long I've actually been locked up in my house - six months [actually five months since March unless Sirius has had Stern locked up already before the Covids hit NYC]. As I predicted that this would go on for a year and a half I was right, we're on that trajectory. And all this shit going on with the post office, I was screaming about it last week, and I see Congress is gonna have a meeting about it. I don't understand how you fuck with the post office out in the open, this seems to be bigger than Watergate. Watergate at least they lied. You fuck with the United States Postal Service and say we want to slow down the vote? What happened? What is going on? I've just never seen anything like it you know. At least if there are shenanigans, let them be in private when you're conducting criminal activity. I mean, all this out in the open, it reminds me of Germany pre-World War II, it's crazy. We're gonna fuck with the United States Postal Service, there's a new one. I had a friend driving into Manhattan yesterday [Ralph can't drive] and telling me that they actually saw people removing mail boxes from the street.  Can you imagine? Like removing where you drop your letter into the little post office box. [He's never seen a mail box before on the street? He thinks we don't know what he means?] That's going on right now as we sit here on our fat asses." [Speak for yourself, buddy.]

=END=

Howard is trying to cover up the fact Sirius wants to bump this boredom into the afternoons because Radio Andy is in competition with Howard for the morning hours and Andy is winning.

Later, Howard bared his jealousy by talking about how Simon Cowell barely owns the show "America's Got Talent" (AGT) when Deadline.com reported that Simon is going to take full control of not only AGT but of his other hit show "The X Factor" after agreeing to buy out Sony Music Entertainment's stake in the shows. Howard, on the other hand, is only a media mogul over his sinking Hamptons battleship and his one-eyed pirate cats that swab the decks with Beth cracking that whip making sure everything stays ship-shape.

August 18, 2020, Beth Tuesday was back after Stern just read my last blog entry dated August 16, 2020 and included talking with George Takei as I blogged about on August 2, 2020. Poor old Howard was back to talking gay with George Takei when he tried to break free from that old script format but it's back since Sirius refuses to fund a real talk show and just keeps recycling old scripts. 

Excerpts [comments in red are by this blogger]:

Howard: "Alright. [Audio of George Takei's laugh was played] There it is, there's the laugh. We're gonna actually talk to George from his home where he's in quarantine [on the gay Zoom Channel]. I've never seen this before - for years George has been talking about this nude painting of his husband, Brad, that he did when Brad was thin and used to be a runner and had tremendous musculature. He was a thoroughbred. Yeah, so, we're gonna be able to see the painting."

Okay, enough of that. Let's move onto Beth's segment on Beth Tuesday.

Beth Tuesday is back! It's been renewed after about a 7 month hiatus:

Howard: "Oh, hi, honey. That's a coaster. You look cute! [She's 51] Hon, that's it? You don't want to be on the air? You have anything you want to say? [Read the script, Beth.]

Robin: "How was the movie last night?" Robin's gotta cue Beth to plug some movie.

===

Howard: "Why are you hiding behind a curtain?"

Beth: "Because I look -- " Robin's laughter drowned out the rest of what she said.

Howard: "I think you look great. You're wearing a whole titty top. You look fabulous."

Beth: "I'm not wearing a titty top, I'm wearing a tee shirt top."

Howard: "Yeah, but there's no bra or anything, right?

Beth: "There's a bra." Howard can't tell with that lumpy mess stuffed in a bra top.

Howard: "Oh, you are? Oh. You look cute. [She's 51] Is it bang o'clock today?" Yes, let's repeat that Urban Dictionary loser nerd saying.

Beth: "Okay."

Howard: "Yeah?"

Beth: "Yeah."

Howard: "I'm gonna get laid, everyone. It's gonna happen?"

Beth: "Yes."

Howard: "I'm so excited."

Beth: "What's this mess?" We thought it was your lumpy breasts stuffed in a bra top.

=END=

Well, folks, audience reaction to the renewal of "Beth Tuesday" has not been good:

The August 19, 2020, stale Stern satellite radio show was just a repeat of a bunch of stuff from old scripts. Howard rehashed the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame where he barged in to induct Bon Jovi as if anyone cared and announced what's coming up on the loser Howard 101 Channel that Howard may lose in 2021 with his stale contract with Sirius.

This time last year, Beth taped the Hallmark Channel Kitten Bowl and we expect she will race back into NYC to tape her segment of the bowl with a bunch of old videotapes of prior Kitten and Cat Bowls that the network just recycles each year [reference the Beth Fan Page, August 30, 2019].

The Kitten Bowl airs in February on Super Bowl Sunday and the Cat Bowl is the day before the Super Bowl on Saturday. It will be Kitten Bowl VIII and Cat Bowl III if things work out and no Covids sabotage the tapings. Beth is scheduled to appear as the host of these shows again so I guess we'll have to watch what happens and if Beth posts any photoshopped photos of herself on her big IG show about her taping the Cat and Kitten Bowls this week or next. Beth is also supposed to host the annual Hero Dog Awards once again in the Fall sometime so we'll have to see what happens with that if Beth can get a freebie trip to LA, Howard normally goes along too since he likes his annual treks to California on someone else's dime.

#dawg #dawgshed #dawgsaloon #sternforums

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#robinquivers #agus #hallmark #kittenbowl #bethtuesday
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