Super Bowl Sunday Sitz Bath Suspense

On Superbowl Sunday, Beth Stern stages a sitz bath drama for her resident cat she calls Helen Stern the Therapy Cat as one wonders how a grown cat can potentially drown in only about three inches of water. 

Beth also revealed further drama that she has a laundry room next to her bathroom as one wonders why hubby Howard Stern doesn't allow Beth to bed down in a full master suite away from a laundry room annex. I mean, it's attached to her bathroom? How tacky. Maybe she could have Howard install a laundry shoot directly to the maid's quarters in the basement where the maid sleeps on a cot next to her hot plate. Beth sure didn't expect her life to turn out like Cinderella forever waiting for her Prince to rescue her from that toad she married.

Howard Stern has said it numerous times over the years on his stale Sirius satellite radio show that his wife Beth takes baths in only about two or three inches of water, and may take baths three times on any given day. Yes, I have blogged about this before and that somehow Howard thinks that is sexy, and that he is turning on his aged fan when he talks about Beth plunked in a tub of water only a few inches high when those types of baths can be commonly referred to as sitz baths which are gross but Howard doesn't think of any of this. He doesn't think his fan base consisting of a fan in a basement knows anything about anything. I have never seen any sex kitten cheesecake photos of an actress or model sitting in three inches of water. They are always in a bathtub overflowing with bubbles and suds. We all love that mental image of Big Beth in a bathtub of only inches of water for her numerous daily baths since she apparently can't use deodorant because of the greasepaint plastered on her body. 

It might be too obvious that Beth hates being ignored, especially when Howard likes to ditch Beth at their Hamptons Hellhole that is slowly sinking and Howard is not sure to keep up the cat foster gimmick in that house to make it pay for itself or just put the whole thing up for sale and move Beth and her cattery down south to their corporate Florida Fortress that Howard has to shut down until he informs his staff to turn on the electricity and gas in the few rooms that are occupied even when the Ostrosky Family is in residence or when Howard's long-time companion Ralph Cirella wants to trek around to the Stern properties since he has a key to everything, including Stern's heart. Everyone knows when Howard bought that private sanctuary sitting in an area crammed with overpriced monstrosities that he couldn't afford but needed to save face around the holidays when he can't horn in on a celebrity party so he and Beth pretend to be busy at their Florida Mystery House where Beth frequently emerges from the basement with a face more bloated and hardened than a blowfish made of cement while claiming the trips are necessary to get cats adopted by patrons at a veterinarian's office.

One wonders why Beth faked a big sitz bath drama on Super Bowl Sunday because Helen the cat always drops inside the tub of only about three or so inches of water with the lower half of her body getting wet. What was the panic, Beth? Did you push Helen in this time hoping for another "brave" attempt at saving an animal from a watery death? We know you wanted a big story for your big appearance at the NSAL cat event on Super Bowl Sunday.

Everyone remembers that stale story told ad nauseam by Howard and Beth publicly and in print how their now-deceased bulldog Bianca dropped like a rock in their pool at their Hamptons home and Beth had to dive in, fully styled and made up to the hilt, to save their dog. Now a Helen bath drama? Wow, drama on Super Bowl Sunday while Howard pretends to be in residence when he's having a painting party with Rick the House Painter and Derek the Detailer while Ralph steals food from a neighbor's delivery boy or did he steal the delivery boy? 

Beth sure spun out this year as she is tired of celebrities ignoring her on Super Bowl Sunday and all she's got are those boring Hallmark Channel Cat and Kitten Bowls where cats are forced to play with cat toys while Hallmark recycles a ton of leftover footage year after year as filler for their flailing channel. So glad that Howard Stern's Hallmark Channel now has a spot on that Sirius dial. Wow, what a coincidence. I hope Howard can continue to hobble into work so he can afford Hallmark to take Beth every year and keep her employed as their useless Bowls host and the host of the Hero Dog Awards that is co-sponsored by the Lois Pope Foundation and the American Humane Association. Beth is a giant shill for these bullshit companies since that's all she can get.

Howard Stern gets a Senator to show up and hand out a bullshit award at the new Beth Stern Habitat and Photoshoot Center at the North Shore Animal League. I didn't cut off the photo of Beth. Her head
was too big for the photo and it wouldn't fit inside the frame.

Pretty funny that the Hallmark Channel acknowledges the truth that Beth is only a "household name" due to her hooking Howard Stern. Gee, wasn't she a globally famous supermodel before she hooked the married radio DJ? I wonder how Howard let this little item slip through his fingers. He ghostwrites everything but I guess his ghost gave up.

After Beth's big staged Helen the cat near-drowning drama today on Super Bowl Sunday, maybe Howard should consider hiring a full-time NANNY for Bethie. It seems she can hardly make it through a week without something coming up to derail her busy day of getting wigs glued onto her head and her face filled up with botox while trying to not kill some of her cats along the way and then coming up with phony publicity stories after the fact but what are the facts? Oh, the Sterns always pull some animal drama out of their hats and then get press out of it and claim how they are so brave with having their animals drop dead or killed by Dr. Jackie the Joke Vet while they race to a bullshit Broadway musical because they had free tickets. Reference the Beth Fan Page, 9-15-18 about how BRAVE the Sterns are when they kill off their pets or foster pets or stray cats and pretend to soldier on with some event.

Howard might pitch a new series with the Hallmark Channel 

"Bath Time With Beth"

or "Beth Tank" and see who comes out alive.

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