Fall of the Hamptons House

Beth Stern's little world is imploding as she and her hubby Howard Stern try to keep afloat a dying dynasty. They are rarely in the Hamptons except to hold fundraisers for their selfie foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends, to help pay the expenses on that Hamptons house that is slowly sinking into the sandy earth beneath it while guests report it's haunted what with Howard's own parents refusing to stay there as some entity pushed mom across the entryway and Howard took her to the hospital many years ago pre-marriage to the Hamptons Harridan. Also several years ago, the parents were dumped there by Sister Ellen and they stayed in the entryway refusing to take off their coats until the hurricane passed and they could go back home. The house is in much need of repair and is crumbling before their eyes while cats dance and play on the roof of the haunted palace and Beth haunts the hallways all night long asking over and over again "is Howard in residence?" as aged cobwebbed staff try and shove pizza and gruel down her throat to calm her down and get her into bed as the sun rises fearing she will turn to dust.

What few inebriated has-been celebs they can coerce into posing with one of their resident cats or a phony foster feline, is not enough to keep the sinkhole afloat. Years ago when Beth had her own Beth Stern Fan Facebook Page [defunct due to her having no fans], she stated that she and Howard would be retiring to their Florida home to foster felines and that's when it was believed they would liquidate all of their other eastern properties but supposedly Howard wants to keep that private apartment near Katie Lee's Kitchen that's well away from the Harridan that took over his Manhattan married bachelor pad long ago and it's just used to wine and dine corporate idiots who think Howard is awesome because he brags about the big money he is making to attract suckers to Sirius when everyone knows that's a farce with his take home pay that's been estimated to be about 30 - 40 million dollars a year, much like what he made on terrestrial radio and Howard would have you think otherwise because he is a desperate house-husband stuck with his boob Beth.

Speaking of which, Howard is still badgering Sirius to renew his long canceled stale satellite radio bit called "Howard's Boob" [a search on this blog should bring up those past episodes] about the antics of his wife Beth and we are all supposed to laugh and heckle her and pretend Howard is a regular guy with the same kind of problems every married peon has in their lives only he's rich and he makes sure everyone knows it because he is an uncouth oaf that belongs in a barn with the rest of animals that only think about eating and scratching themselves like Howard does all the time in between his stalking schedule.

Howard tries to revive "Howard's Boob" on his October 29, 2019 stale Stern satellite radio show:

Excerpt:

Howard:  "Anyway so I'm talking to Ralph, I'm over there, my wife's -- she was getting dressed you know in her bathroom and stuff, she was going out last night.  All of a sudden the alarm goes off in the apartment.  Really loud.  So everyone looks at me.  This is when you know you're a leader.  Ralph goes 'What should we do?'  I go 'Everyone get out now'." 

Robin:  "What does your alarm signify?" 

Howard:  "It says 'Fire!  Fire!  Danger!  Fire!'  It sounds like the robot on 'Lost in Space.'  ... Listen to this.  Ralph goes 'What do you think we should do?'  I go 'You leave.  I am leaving now.'  And I go 'Honey, I'm leaving' not to Ralph, to my wife.  Beth comes out.  She starts in 'What's going on?  What do we do?'  I go 'What's going on??  Leave.  Walk out the door.'  Then everyone turns to me 'Should we take the elevator?'  I go 'No, don't you guys watch any movies or read books?'  I go 'There's fire steps, walk down the fire steps.'  Right?  They turn to me.  I'm holding my bag and I start walking out the door.  Beth goes 'I have two cats here.'  We have Helen and Pebble in the city.  I go 'Yeah?  Leave now'." 

***

Robin:  "That's what caused everything?" 

Howard:  "The steamer yeah.  The smoke alarm went off because she was steaming."

-End-

Oh how hilarious. Ha ha ha. You need better ghostwriters, Howard, what a dumb story. So Beth has never steamed one of her huge dresses before in her apartment beneath your former married bachelor's pad? Doesn't Beth hide in her closet and smoke up a storm? Forget steaming, let's talk cigarettes unless she vapes because she is desperate to do something with her dull life.

   

Beth was snubbed by the Daily Mail
UK for the Apple TV event in NYC but
superstar Wendy wasn't.

Of course Howard just used that stale story that had no punchline as an excuse to plug Beth because she hogged a red carpet on Monday night because Beth is getting tired of sitting in her empty apartment staring at cats with that new Helen Rose cat calendar a giant failure. On Beth's Instagram Show, she paged through it and it seems the calendar only has pictures of that same boring grey cat, no Beth in sight, which was a mistake. Those much anticipated hilarious Beth photos were going to be fodder for this blogger for weeks to come. What happened, Howard? You couldn't come up with photos sitting on your iPhone from 10 years ago to pass off as current ones of your Hamptons Harridan? In that photo of Beth [right] of the big Apple TV PR event, it looks like she steamed her hair flat but it does no good, her head still looks giant.

Beth got snubbed big time in the Daily Mail UK and guess who was featured? Only the superstar Wendy Williams who attended that same AppleTV event that Beth did but Beth was super snubbed! 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7623993/Jennifer-Aniston-Reese-Witherspoon-look-classic-black-dresses-Morning-premiere.html 

I guess Beth needs some work with content on her Instagram. She has nothing to post and proves it all the time what with the recycled phony cats and she keeps palming off old photos as current. I guess she knows her fan base are a bunch of bots from China or PR paid comments from aged has-beens who think they're famous.

Well, what Halloween costume can you expect from the cheap ass

wife of a cheap ass?

#dawgshed#dawgsaloon#dawgstar#howardstern#bethostern#howardsboob#hamptonsharridan#hamptons#siriusxm#pandoraisbadluck#halloween#pumpkins#pumpkinheadbeth#appletv#wendywilliams