Tennessee Tuxedo

Howard Stern stated on his stale Sirius satellite radio show on Monday that he and Beth Stern paraded with a few friends to Tennessee over this past weekend and we see from Beth's Instagram show, all they did was pose among the gravel and weeds and Howard said he did a spin class. Sources reported that onlookers were amazed to see two giant asses on bikes before lunch pretending to exercise.

Excerpt from Monday, September 30, 2019 stale Stern satellite radio show about his trip to Tennessee this past weekend:

Robin:  "So you were in Tennessee on the weekend?"

Howard:  "Yeah, I went away with my wife and a couple of friends and went to Tennessee.  That's why I was all freaked out about snakes.  My friend had been to Tennessee and he got bitten by a rattlesnake. I wore snake-proof boots."

Robin:  "You didn't see one rattlesnake."

Howard:  "Didn't see anything.  Didn't see any rattlesnakes, didn't see I think they're called copperheads -- I didn't see any of 'em but they're all there."

Robin:  "You were all, you know, stockinged up and everything."

Howard:  " ... Everyone was laughing at me and I didn't care.  I was just like 'Good.  Fuck you.'  I had snake-proof boots that go over your ankles and then I bought these guards, you wrap 'em around your shins and the snakes can't bite through them.  ... Remember Michael Jackson in the video 'Bad'?  I kind of look like that.  It was very goth looking with all my rattlesnake stuff.  ... They're jet black and they have buckles around them.  ... Everyone was making fun of me that I went away with but I went up to a guy who was a guide who takes people on hikes and I said to the guy, 'Am I crazy here?'  I said, 'I'm here and I'm wearing snake-proof boots and guards and everything --'  And he said to me, 'Let me tell you something, I don't want to freak out people on the tour so they won't let me wear snake guards.'  He said, 'I would wear them every single day.  Tennessee is home to 34 species of snakes including 4 that are venomous.'  And so he said, 'You're absolutely smart to be wearing 'em'."

Robin:  "Yeah and he gets paid to make sure people feel however will make them feel okay."

Howard:  "Well, I'm just telling you what the dude told me meanwhile he was wearing short shorts.  ... Yeah so I was in Tennessee.  Beautiful place -- you know people talk about going away to other countries.  Fuck that.  This country there's so much to see. Meanwhile the plane flight from New York to Tennessee, how long do you think it is, Robin?"

Robin:  "Hmm, I would say maybe an hour."

Howard:  "An hour and a half.  You know what?  I don't know the map, I don't know where anything is, Tennessee sounded like at least three hours away by plane.  And when the guy goes 'It's an hour and a half' I went 'Wow, I'm going.'  Beautiful part of the country and I enjoyed it very much.  Did a little hiking, I did a little bit of biking, I did a little -- I did a Spin class.  It was just me and this doctor from Tennessee.  He's a surgeon and he listens to Sirius but he listens to Christian music and then he realized I was Howard Stern."

Robin:  "He's sitting right next to the devil."

--end--

Pretty funny because this same time last year, Beth was in Los Angeles shilling for the American Humane Association/Lois Pope Foundation as the host of the awful Hero Dog Awards that exploits disabled and injured dogs and drags them on stage to somehow prove the AHA does something other than give Hollywood a giant pass on any animal abuses including caging and starving animals used for film and TV productions as proven by PETA. Last year, Howard paraded to a museum in New York IN DISGUISE when the wicked witch of the East flew West. [Ref: Beth Fan Page, 10-1-18.] 

Um, yeah, in 2014 when Beth taped the Hero Dog Awards Howard suddenly had a pow-wow with his weird daughter Emily and family business. When the Hero Dog Awards were taped on September 10, 2016, Howard was on vacation anyway and just said he selfie pleasured himself when Beth was in L.A. because Howard couldn't think of anything else and he was plugging a porn channel at the time anyway. In 2017, Howard kept it a secret he trekked West with his witch because in 2016 Beth said everyone was mean to her and she couldn't read the giant cue cards and had to wear her big glasses during the broadcast and looked like a dweeb.

Yeah, Howard always does something in September when Beth would normally be in Los Angeles but this year of course, it's been bumped to October and Howard timed his trek to Los Angeles to coincide with the taping of the Hero Dog Awards because his nut wife has to appear popular and busy while the Stern show stooges broadcast from the Sirius studios in Los Angeles and Howard is plugging that borefest book someone typed up for him of transcripts of some of his stale satellite radio interviews with Beth stuck in there with a fantasy story about when he first met Beth as if anyone cares. Beth could not tag along with nothing booked for herself so that's the timing of this whole boring book tour. Sirius is not paying for Howard just to promote that loser book, so he has to work and do a show from L.A. that will be as boring as hell.

Oh, but the plot thickens as everyone is abuzz over what Howard's long-time companion Ralph Cirella does when Howard and Beth are out of town. Does he rummage through Beth's NY apartment looking for what exactly? As blogged about, Howard and Beth are trying to hang onto their Hamptons Hostel and frequently have paying guests during the summer while some just provide a hefty donation to Howard and Beth's selfie foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends (BFF), that is rapidly morphing into Beth's Furry Friends per her new website and pushing that freaky Cheshire cat she just adopted in everyone's faces and hopes to cash in on 12 boring photos of the cat w/Bethie of course in a calendar but what person wants 12 photos of the same gray cat? No one. Beth is rarely in the Hamptons anymore except during the summer BFF fundraising season and it's essentially shut down and Beth just posts a bunch of bullshit photos of cats all the time when God knows when they were actually taken. Almost all the photos are of untraceable random alley cats and body parts of people we are supposed to think are Beth and Howard.

Of course Howard used to complain about the last weekend in September and why he has to be out of town or just runs out of his apt to troll around New York in disguise because he is the giant uninvited pariah for the annual Global Citizen Festival that Howard super complained about last year. Yeah, I blogged about it a few times and Howard can't take it. More than 60,000 people paraded into Central Park on Saturday the 28th and Howard raced out of town. Gosh, where was the big cheese with his canned worm on Saturday? I thought the Sterns were super liberal democrats. OH, the Sterns had to race to Tennessee for two days suddenly. The BIG MOUTH Radio Relic didn't want to help fight poverty and fight to save the environment and support gender equality? A bunch of celebs and musical stars showed up and Hugh Jackman was there again of course plugging his foundation with that bizarre dwarf he married that always wears weird shoes.

The Sterns don't have time to change the world. They had to do
a spin class in Tennessee on Saturday.

Natalie Portman struggles to act like she knows what this event
is all about as she allegedly is a diva bitch that was an
alleged Ecstasy user but now pretends to not know what it is.

Where was this plastic surgery nightmare during the Global Citizen
Festival? Oh, she was staring at a friend's bush in Tennessee
on Sept 28 and 29.

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