Too Long in Coming

Everyone is saying how Howard Stern waited way too long to write his next opus of nothing since he is as played out as pay radio that had to admit defeat by adding a video streaming service to its boring lineup. 

Howard is badgering the entire entertainment industry to get his facelift back on TV and thinks this comeback book will launch another movie or TV deal along with that NY troll he married and make her famous too which is also played out. All Beth O'Stern has is that cat adoption gimmick that is struggling to stay afloat in her sitz bath. Howard is having a selfie meltdown pitching his long, long trailer to go with his book release that is supposedly happening on MAY DAY as in help, this book is a bomb [I know, May 14 is not officially May day, but you get the joke here].

Beth is chomping at her own bit writing her bit of history and thinks her own story is a much better read than any of Howard's stale books and will feature a million photos of herself since she actually thinks that modeling bad hairdos was a real modeling job equal to the top models of her day, like Heidi Klum or Claudia Schiffer. Beth thinks she is retired now and everyone has a laugh over that but I guess you can retire from following people into the Letterman studios gaining an all access badge to bug guests appearing on the show. Beth keeps her official wedding dress in a glass vault since she guards it better than Monica Lewinsky guarded her evidence dress. Alarm bells go off and the goon squad shows up if Howard sends anyone to tamper with the goods at the Hamptons Hostel.

Unspecified insiders are alleging that Howard Stern did the Wendy Williams smackdown via his stale Sirius satellite radio show a few weeks ago to send a message that she had better not report on his third coming out party [this is his third book, right? Who cares, I know]. Wendy allegedly was planning on saying much more on her TV talk show about the Stern book but got stage fright and all that came out was that he had gone Hollywood and to expect no surprises in his book. Well, that was the edited version of what she wanted to say yet she is a wild card in all this and no one knows what she may come out with. So onto the admission she is struggling and is in rehab and never responded to Howard Stern slamming her publicly on his radio show in response to her saying he had gone Hollywood. Howard attacked her personally, insulting how she looks, instead of attacking her statements a la scientology tactics since Howard is on thin ice with that group since supporting Leah Reminini's rant against the sea org. Yeah, gotta call out an individual who has the backside story about a lot of public figures. As if Mr. Wig and Makeup has a leg to stand on even with that cane he is never without nowadays. Oh yeah, we know how he got that hobble, don't we? Falling down the stairs much in his NYC corporate hovel like Bethie did several years ago? Just asking. Reports are now saying that Wendy Williams is headed for a divorce and she will put on a brave front for her fans, something Howard never has to worry about.

I love these excerpts from Howard's book about the backstory of a few of his boring interviews - like about the Lady Gaga interviews "...oh, she was a doll". Or how about the Jennifer Lawrence commentary "...oh, she was a doll". You get the message. Snore. I hope Howard has some cash left over to fund that Florida flophouse for vagrant O Family members after having to buy a million copies of his own book. I may cry here. What about all that real estate Howard owns from here to Florida? You know, the O Family houses along with buying up real estate for his do-nothing tri-coastal loser kids. 

I know, Alec Baldwin was at the Stern show recently and touched on it but he has no idea about Howard's real estate purchases. He was just grasping at straws desperate to come up with conversation. I bet Howard already has his table all set up at the annual Baldwin Authors Night in the Hamptons with a million of his books in boxes, paying people to show up to get them autographed. Beth could only horn in on Hamptons Authors Night twice for her first book "Oh My Dog" and failed to score a spot at a table under the tent for her Yoda the cat book bombs.

We'll have to watch what happens when Andy Cohen makes an appearance at the Stern stale satellite radio show to talk about his new baby yet will be forced to gush over Howard and his boring book where his fright wig looks like fried cole slaw sitting on his head and a military jacket to hide his entire neck and body taking a bow at Beth with that dumb "B" tattoo showing on his left hand [the cover of Howard's book is on the sidebar of this blog]. Poor Beth didn't even score the back cover? Who knows since his book is still in production and there is no print copy as of this moment.

Dame Beth-Man scored a copy of an
alternate Stern book cover

Allegedly, this picture will be in Beth's book. It's a rare photo
from inside their Florida Facelift Fortress with their personal physician.

Beth Stern is on that mouse wheel and rarely deviates from her Stern schedule and will host Scary Mary again this summer in the Hamptons but is expected to reappear in a repeat episode of the Stern stale reality show in Florida where Mary was there with Bethie last April too. What a fool. [Ref Beth Fan Page April 30, 2018.]

Beth is usually shuttled off to Florida in April and now Howard's got his loser book coming out in May to deflect from the fact Beth can never score a seat at the annual Met Gala superstar NYC event that is held the first Monday in May. The Sterns always have to come up with some annual stunts to keep deflecting from the fact they are ignored pariahs in all aspects of humanity.

#dawg #dawgshed #dawgsaloon #saloon

#whiskeyagogo  #howardstern #bookdebacle

#howardtv  #bethtv  #yodatv #bethostern

#yoda  #agt #siriusxm #book #mary 

#florida  #fortress #metgala