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| Howard's homage to his wife Beth; that tacky tattoo. |
Howard's trying for a comeback and wants that Hollywood career aside from that coveted star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame that Simon Cowell and Dame Beth-Man have along with a bunch of other famous people. But Howard's career tanked since his one-shot movie deal and divorce from his first wife that sent ratings plummeting into a pit when he still had a job on terrestrial radio. Now his big career has been stalled since getting punted off terrestrial radio and landing on a pay service that he tanked and had to merge with another satellite company and now satellite is stuck with Stern. Sirius got him that stint with NBC as cross-promotion that just ended up almost tanking that network during the summer months.
Howard's got a lot of nothing to fill those pages because he exists inside a twisted mass of jumbled wires inside that weave thicket he glues to his head. His book cover picture looks like firecracker frizz on his head with that face that could frighten a ghost with that dumb Michael Jackson military jacket or coat that he stole off the docks from a gay longshoreman.
Insiders are alleging that Howard almost came under fire again with Dolly Parton. Howard's fan may remember several years ago when Dolly threatened to sue that buffoon on the radio for splicing public recordings of her voice to make it seem like she was saying lewd and lascivious stuff. Howard stopped the entire radio bit because of Dolly, since he had staff splice together a bunch of sound bytes from celebrities to make it sound like they were doing awful things. Part of the delay in releasing Howard's comeback book was the fact that Dolly wrote that hit song called "Here You Come Again". So Howard's team of monkeys had to put down the bananas and make sure there was no copyright infringement upon that song title.
Howard hopes his book will jump start his stalled career since he thinks he is being launched at 65 years old to take over TV talk shows or at least the phone and computer streaming market and hopes to light a fire on Amazon Fire streaming service but no one is paying to hear Stern's stale satellite radio show. It is really sad and pathetic being around the Stern households because everyone has to pretend he is on the verge of something other than firing Ralph the Stylist and Felix the Tailor since Howard's clothes do not fit properly. The jackets are always baggy, like they are just purchased on the street in the Village and Ralph and Felix pretend they are custom made while pocketing the dough themselves that Howard thinks they are spending on fabric, design and labor.
Beth is hard from working on her upcoming
book once Mr. Mealticket joins the ascended
shock jocks and can bug the hell out of Hell.
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| Beth's future date night with Howard Stern. |
Rumors are swirling around Heidi Klum that she is expecting another baby when she has said in the past that she is past all that but if it's true, it will send Beth racing back to her docs hoping to produce something other than dross.
Beth is panicking over her clock exploding because Howard is getting so old, even his sperm needs a cane to get through her cobwebs.
I wonder if Howard explains that Herman Munster head in his latest opus die?
YES. Howard is working on a new movie deal based on his new book! Sometimes they come back. We know. And sometimes they never go away.
YES. Much to the delight of Beth Fans, I can now announce my first book that will be released very soon called "Dame Beth-Man - Never Came Before" but sorry, it will only be released to those on the private sale list. I hope to reprint excerpts for Beth Fans when it's been green lit for reproduction here on this blog but since this blog is not adult-only, I can
only print select pages here.
only print select pages here.
A select few have already received a print copy,
and the reviews have been mixed.
We remember last year when Howard took time off from boring his fan on satellite radio, he photographed Beth on her patio at the Florida Facelift Fortress and they normally snatch a neighbor's cat and claim it's lost so they can count the trip as a selfie write-off to their foundation that is floundering and is in danger of being euthanized. Beth can only play fashion model at her houses now since she can't score anymore freebie corporate tickets to NY Fashion Week and her little world is dwindling to nothing but she's got to keep up that blowfish face to prepare for the worldwind book tour that Howard will soon be launching that he thinks will launch his big career when in fact, 65 is when the networks stop hiring. He will have to finance something himself on some loser pay service I guess or just retreat into his empty garden.
Photo originally published on the Beth Fan Page
March 22, 2018
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It is so true that Howard “thinks he is being launched at 65 years old” because when he thanked SiriusXM for their “refreshing attitude" toward his book, he said, “They weren’t afraid I was gonna leave if my book was a success.”
ReplyDeleteHeck they're not even sure he's gonna leave if he dies.