Queen of Hearts

Beth Stern's middle name is F-U-N every year on Valentine's Day as her hubby Howard Stern appears via photoshop in her life because he's scared of losing his head.

So happy for Howard Stern's obsession Bradley Cooper who is all nominated this year for his big movie "A Star is Born" that took forever to finally get released since it was shelved for like five years while Lady Gaga had to struggle with singing without using multiples of her own voice over a loudspeaker trying to act and sing at the same time playing the lead role that was last played out by Barbra Streisand who's big acting feat consisted of showing off her saggy breasts and permed frizz wig that looked much like the same cloud cluster wire image that lives on top of Howard Stern's head.

"Valentine's Day" (2010)

So fun that Bradley played a Valentine's Gay on film at least twice before he played it straight and is struggling to get that coveted Academy Award as he hopes to snag one this year as he gagas all the way to the ballot brothels hoping to pleasure some voters into voting his way so he can parade around with Oscar for the rest of his life, glad that he invested in his weave and new teeth, much like Howard Stern, who invested in his face and plugged in that weave that sits on his head that actually does power up a lightbulb when it's screwed in his mouth.

"Wet Hot American Summer" (2001). Brad is all hot & wet
for the Oscars this year. Got any envelopes that need licking?

Last year during Valentine's Day week, Beth was shot off to Florida for her own personal patio fashion week where she posed for photos in funny outfits playing model to her toadying family members and having the amateur photos uploaded to her big Instagram site much to the delight of that mouse on the wheel inside her Swiss cheese brain. [Reference: Beth Fan Page, February 13, 2018 "Fashion Week Snubs Stern" and the Beth Fan Page, February 17, 2018 "Beth Stern's Fat Ass Fashion Week".]

This year we can't wait for some recycled love set photo that Howard photoshops into oblivion since both he and Beth only communicate via their phony photos and rarely appear in person since their faces are in various stages of repair.

We just never get tired of this same stale photo of Beth with that second Yoda the cat she palms off as the original one. We know she has Dr. Jackie [a.k.a., Dr. Death] on call to clear her Hamptons house of unwanted resident cats since the Sterns need a sob story about some pet death to appear likable to caged inbred trolls from the Dark Web that listen to SiriusXM via a stolen rental car.

Howard is all excited to hear the news that supposedly Mel B and Heidi K are out as judges on NBC's "America's Got Talent" (AGT). He has a never-ending hope that he will still get back on the show as a guest judge so he can get free travel to L.A. to crash producers' offices to pitch his awful show ideas featuring himself and that wig in a dress he married. However, Howard is still jealous that Simon's job is secure for at least another three years according to some sources. Some are saying that Simon Cowell is changing up his show because he is worried about competition from CBS for a show called "The World's Best" hosted by James Corden. But Simon really shouldn't worry about any competition to AGT since his special Fall show AGT - Champions is a runaway hit and the premiere of CBS's copycat show is a borefest.  

How deep can those lines go on your face, Faith? 

I mean, who can stand that fat fuck James Corden? No one. Plus, having Drew Barrymore as a judge, an old lazy ass do-nothing who can now buy her way back on TV since divorcing and was paid to go away and is set for life, then having that Faith Hill as another judge [OMG], we wonder how RuPaul got stuck as the third judge on this loser show. But he is trying to have a career sans the wig and makeup and he just ends up circling the drain. Same with Howard Stern, he can't make it in radio without his wig and makeup either.

I hope Beth Fans have a nice St. Valentine's Day and massacre that chocolate candy to their heart's content.

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