The Damned Don't Cry

In the village of the damned is where Howard Stern sits on his duff panicking over how he's going to fulfill the next 10-year contract he just signed with his current wife Beth Ostrosky Stern and has to come up with novel ways to make her famous that will fool producers into taking Beth off his hands or Beth gets a nice bonus check in 2028 on top of the pre-nuptial renewal lease amount of their marriage contract.

While Howard is stewing in his own pot of dross, Rob Zombie suddenly promotes SPOTIFY and not Sirius!!!! Wow, can this rift between the Zombies and the Sterns ever be patched up? Rob Zombie has been snubbing the Sterns for like eight years because Rob is busy dealing with fame right now while Howard is busy dealing with his horizontal Hamptons Harridan and trying to come up with more fundraisers for their almost defunct foundation called Bianca's Furry Friends, that is deflating faster than Beth's boobs and Howard's Botox. 

So far, during Howard's time off from paying writers and having to drum up content for his unleavened dish of stale satellite radio, it seems Howard is doing a lot of nothing but staring at a cat and providing audio commentary via a livestream from Beth's iPhone that she posts on her Instagram show "The Real Housewife of Instagram" that has failed to get a sponsor and be picked up by Andy Cohen as one of his Real Housewives shows on Bravo TV. You should be able to easily find Beth's Instagram show by Googling "Hamptons Harridan".

While Howard continues to do nothing but take meds for his stinging cosmetic face peel, Rob Zombie is the feature editor of Metal Hammer magazine since he is the God of Gore and appropriately of course he is featured this month just when Sheri will be celebrating 16 years of groupie marital bliss. She's got a lot in common with that other groupie Bethie except it's not suitable for general audiences.

Of course Heidi Klum is gearing up for another one of her major league Halloween parties she hosts every year and she has been teasing her 5.2 million Instagram followers of what her costume may look like. Howard runs and hides from Halloween since Beth gets ticked off when Howard wants to dress in drag, so he only does that on Christian holidays. I guess that was their agreement years ago since Beth wants to be the hot chick at Halloween and not have to compete with Howard in the swimsuit competition portion of the holiday.

I know, everyone wants to know what Dame Beth-Man will be this year at Halloween other than gorgeous. I am trying on costumes now and may actually be visiting mum who is hosting a dinner party. I can't wait to have a few gingerbread men for dessert.

No, I am not in this picture because I was teasing the bellboy.

Love this costume. #HelloEdna

Don't forget, Beth Fans, to submit a comment to this blog entry providing me with your Halloween costume ideas and I will promptly ignore them.

#dawgshed #howard  #bethostern

#bethhasaheadshapedlikeashed

#bethleftherbreastsinfloridaandthedogatethem

#robzombie  #zombie  #sherihasafacelikeamoon

#howardstern  #stern  #halloween   #metalhammer

#metal   #frightweave

#damebethman  #dameedna  #dame  #bethfanpage
#nobodytellsitlikeadame #nothinglikeadame