Pizzas and Pianos

Former Howard Stern show staffer Stuttering John Melendez has a podcast and talks about his life and upcoming book that is shaping up to set fire to Howard Stern's comfy little seat on that satellite dish, and he made a few interesting comments that I will paraphrase here. 

John says that Tim Sabean [who worked for the Stern Show] provided a lot of insider content for his book though preferred to not be actually named in the book. John said that Sabean said that Howard barely gets one million listeners to his little podcast, I mean, satellite radio show. John said he did smoke pot with Howard at a strip club years ago and thinks Howard is still a casual pot smoker which, in my opinion, may explain why Howard is having problems staying vertical and needs a walking stick at his advanced age and what with getting STUCK WITH BETH ALL SUMMER which is a first this year, having to actually book more time at Stalag Beth in the Hamptons to push Beth into the public eye since they've got a new 10 year contract together and it's shaping up to be all Beth-sided. 

Beth has come full circle in her fame quest in that she has fully disappeared for the first time in years in the Hamptons social scene and just has that same "Get Wild" and "Getting Wild" stale fundraisers since obviously the Sterns have to support that Evelyn Alexander Wildlife Rescue Center because they want all those tick-filled deer chased off their property what with the servants battling stray turtles in the garden while smacking at the sea crabs that invade the patio and occasionally trapping that owl that makes a home in their rafters.

Where was I? Oh yeah, so anyway, John also talks about an upcoming reunion with himself, Jackie, Billy West, and maybe Artie Lange to talk about stuff and trash Howard [just kidding]. Someone asked John about the alleged upcoming Howard Stern book and John believed that it has not yet been confirmed. John also mentioned working on The Tonight Show and kept the original job offer a secret and didn't tell Howard because Howard would have made fun of him and basically accuse him of being a liar. So John took the job and has never regretted the decision. I mean come on, Howard Stern would have dumped that crappy radio job in a nanosecond if he got offered a late night talk show, I mean, he dropped everything for that "America's Got Talent" game show so you know he was jealous of John actually getting a job as The Tonight Show announcer and a writing job with Jay Leno. 

It just seems like Howard is just a lonely old man at this point and all he's got is pushing Beth's bullshit in everyone's faces since she is getting zero offers since Howard got booted off television by NBC. Beth would have zero if not for that dumb animal foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends, that she thinks is a real job when all she does is endanger kittens all day, posing them on hot lamps or sticking their heads up a lampshade until a real foster home can take the cats.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmwJMQMhrVG/?hl=en&taken-by=bethostern

We love it that Beth tries all the one-eye gimmicks and inserting a pizza pie in her oven before it became so popular that now it's all over the conspiracy news channels since Beth is on the cutting edge and ahead of the cooking curve and worships Jessica Seinfeld, desperate to horn in on her elite connections. As blogged about, pretty funny Jess snubbed the Sterns this year for her second annual Hamptons fundraiser for her and Jerry's foundation renamed Good Plus that used to be Baby Buggy since that was waaaay too obvious and needed a different public image and reference. Ha ha ha. So funny the Seinfelds were in attendance at the CFDA Fashion Awards on June 4, 2018 and the next day Kate Spade was hanging from a doorknob in her apartment in NYC. Everyone expected Kate to be there since she is on the board and has been affiliated with the award show for years having received a few awards from that organization when suddenly she doesn't show up and poof, she's deader than a door nail. No one knows her exact time of death, so she could have killed herself on June 4 and was found on June 5 yet no one is talking and her daughter Bea was too busy avoiding the paparazzi to show up at mom's funeral.

Howard Stern is taking a break this week from sitting on his satellite dish to avoid being triggered by another big live show of NBC's "America's Got Talent" on Tuesday night with all the beautiful people gracing that red carpet with Beth sitting home alone wondering where she went wrong. Was it that her pizza was not fresh but frozen? Was it the almost vegan real cheese pods topping faux pas? Was it that it stuck to the Reynolds Wrap and the crust turned to cardboard?

Supermodel and Superstar Heidi Klum
lit up the red carpet on Tuesday night while
the only red carpet Beth sees is when she spills
wine on the floor of her patio that's
screened in or the hords of Hamptons bats
will fly up her belfry.

#dawgshed #stutteringjohn

#johnmelendez #thetonightshow

#jayleno  #howardsternisjellyofjohn

#bethostern  #agt  #nbc

#bethneedsmorepizzainherpipes