Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing

I've got my eyes wide shut on the Kate Spade suicide incident that happened about 10:20 a.m. EST on June 5th in her Park Avenue apartment where there are conflicting reports on whether her husband Andy Spade was in residence or not when she apparently hung herself from her bedroom closet doorknob. Oh yeah, we've got the report that the housekeeper discovered Kate hanging from that doorknob with a red scarf around her neck [you'll remember the fashion designer I blogged about who also killed herself in duplicate fashion, L'Wren Scott, yet her scarf was black]. Red and black, how fitting for these aged divas of design. Supposedly when the housekeeper found Kate dangling from that doorknob, she raced to the lobby of the building to get the superintendent to help her. That man entered the apartment and cut Kate loose from her noose and phoned authorities who pronounced her dead on the floor and then was carted out of her building feet first with various weird lumps under that white sheet as they stuffed her in that body bag with that icy cold rigor mortis body in a weird position. 

Kate Spade's apartment building where she
killed herself, 850 Park Avenue, Apt 3b.

TMZ stated that Andy Spade was there when she killed herself, but why would the housekeeper race to the lobby of the building for help? Why not ask Andy to do something like cut her down or phone 9-1-1? Oh, right. Weren't they living like Beth and Howard Stern? Separately? Howard bought his original New York penthouse bachelor pad when he was still married to his first wife. When she cut and run, Howard was stuck with Beth Buttinsky, the do-nothing fat model from nowhere. Howard bought the apartment directly beneath his penthouse apt and moved Beth down there in her own place hoping that would appease her. Well it did for awhile until she demanded a more permanent gig and more permanent digs. Now Beth lives in the Hamptons and Howard lives in NY in another apartment away from his original bachelor's pad turned corporate penthouse to wine and dine the Sirius hefty bags.

Some people are saying Andy Spade lived in the same building as Kate but in another apartment, perhaps the apartment next to hers. Kate showed off her apartment on various online magazine sites over a year ago but if Andy moved out then TMZ would be correct in that Andy was there but not in Kate's apartment when she killed herself, but in his own apt. But I am sure more details will emerge as this bizarre story develops into a more bizarre story. 

You ever tried with all your heart and soul to get your lover back to you? I want to hope so. You ever pray with all your heart and soul just to watch [him] walk away?

You ever toss and turn, you're lying awake and thinking about the one you love? I don't think so. You ever close your eyes you're making believe you're holding the one you're dreaming of? Well if you say so. It hurts so bad when you finally know just how low, low, low, low, low, [he'll] go.

Kate's apartment walls were covered with pictures like others with
Eyes Wide Shut. According to alleged insiders, Kate was off balance when
she worked in NYC for her design company and kept firing female staffers for sleeping
with her husband who denied everything and doubted her sanity. Allegedly her
break from working was a mental breakdown and she covered it up by saying that
 she wanted to be a stay at home mom and spend full time with her young daughter until
she turned 12 and Kate went back to work and moved Andy out of her apt. Andy called his
daughter Bea Spade since that will be her designer name when she comes of age
[get it? like Be Spade or Be a Spade]. The daughter's full name is Francis Beatrix Spade.

In other news, James Corden was the guest on the Howard Stern stale satellite radio show on June 5 because he was plugging that tired franchise of the old Ocean's 11 Frank Sinatra original movie that they keep remaking and dragging it out into a bunch of sequels. No one saw Beth Stern at the premiere which was surprising since that is normally why Howard tries to get certain people on his radio show to get a freebie ticket for his do-nothing wife who he ships to their Florida Mystery House for a Botox Booster shot for about three days with Howard hiding in his own apartment in NY away from his original bachelor pad he purchased while still married to his first wife Alison and away from his second wife who no one can stand to be around for two seconds.

Well, I guess I can say Howard Stern is officially out of new material for his globally famous unknown model wife Beth Ostrosky Stern since he has already started the reruns for this upcoming summer season, especially now that he has to shuttle Beth back and forth to the Florida Mystery House for her laser spa and botoxolgy sessions where no one is allowed inside save for Beth's family and one obscure fuzzy photo from about three years ago featuring Jimmy and Molly Kimmel in some bar area allegedly inside the Florida fortress but it looked more like a hotel suite bar area. We did get a glimpse at the barren cat foster room that looks more like a room with just some old stuff thrown in there since Howard refuses to furnish the house or actually move in and has it constantly under construction to save on taxes.

Now we've got the same reruns from last year with Beth stuffed into the same giant tranny panty two piece bathing suit given to her by her paid worshipper Whitney Cummings, the girl who started out in some game show with a name tag on the old Stern radio show when it was aired on the E Channel who allegedly is obsessed with shemales.

Most old rich jerks like Howard get stuck with the last wife forever since they cannot afford another huge divorce settlement. Jerry Seinfeld was old when he landed that professional real housewife who already got a settlement from her prior rich husband, changed her name and was off to the races at that gym to nab Seinfeld, much like the story of how Beth got Howard, at the gym, right? Pat Mannochia ring a bell? Oh yeah. Beth paid for some loser modeling portfolio and claimed she was a model with Howard having to set up the hot potato with several agencies so she could get her modeling card and prove she was a legit model [insert laughter] when Howard launched her at the age of OVER 30 and OLD in that dumb FHM magazine no one had heard of. The rest is Sternthology, yeah, scripted bullshit.

#dawgshed  #howard #stern
#bethostrosky #eyeswideshut
#katespade #andyspade  #davidspade