Met Meltdown

The First Monday in May is fast approaching with the biggest event of the year, the Metropolitan Museum of Art benefit [May 7 this year] while Beth Ostrosky Stern is expected to be snubbed again for this major celebrity and media mogul event having to sit home and pretend how fulfilling her life is wearing cat print shirts and being media marketing poison. 

The famous blogger Dame Beth-Man blogged about this before and how Beth embarrassingly donned a cat shirt ON the Met Gala day of May 5, 2014. How sad. So this is a reblog of that fateful day and I am not sure Beth has repeated this ever since Dame Beth-Man pointed out how sad and embarrassing this was, but we can't wait to see what stunt Beth will pull on Monday to deflect from the fact her husband is a lame duck that can't score anything for her while he wears a condom on life so he can't reproduce anything meaningful. Well, maybe we can wait to see what Beth does, seeing as how she is seeing a red sparrow over the museum however there is still time for Beth to phone in her order to The Don or The Doness or to their son The Barron who communicates telepathically with the static-filled head of Beth O, however he really doesn't know what a Met Gala is.

Uh, yeah, Beth posted twice on the Met Gala day in 2014 showing how staying home and wearing cat shirts is a fulfilling life.

Beth is in a bit of a posting frenzy on her IG show lately as she can't really handle being ignored and having to deal with phony foster feral felines all the time with no benefit to her. Oh yeah, she continues to collect donations to her foundation Bianca's Furry Friends but even that is becoming a dead end as cats are dying along the way to her yellow brick road to the Emerald City. Her rarely visible hubby Howard Stern claims to have some big deal looming on the horizon that Beth wants to horn in on but obviously it's a big secret, but Beth has been trying for her kitten prison camp show for a long time and she hopes it will be a regular segment on Howard-360, that video streaming of his stale satellite radio show from the Siriusly declining satellite radio service that has to admit defeat by having a video option for their talk radio shows, or at least where Howard is concerned as he is being sent home more and more by the Sirius bosses to save money on those loser Stern channels.

Beth is having a hard time coming up with celebrity guests for her IG show as her reportedly constantly bugging Paulina Porizkova and her husband from The Cars to visit Stalag Beth in the Hamptons resulted in Paulina revealing she had been separated from her husband for a year. No one knew about this last month when Paulina showed up to support her husband who was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Beth Horninsky was only there because Howard's employers finally got him a gig with the Hall of Fame to induct Bon Jovi. Sirius covered the event that will be aired on HBO sometime when nobody is watching and they need filler. 

Beth normally photographs her guests she traps into coming to visit her prison camp in the Hamptons and has them pose with one of her cats and then pressures them into giving a donation after Howard serves the cocktails and gives them a tour of the kitten prison rooms. Paulina's sudden announcement a few days ago on her social media site that she had been separated from her husband for a year now, is timed suspiciously with Beth glomming onto the supermodel at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame awards last month. Sources are reporting to the Beth Fan Page alleging that Paulina finally couldn't take it anymore and suddenly told Beth she was getting a divorce, so please stop calling and inviting her and her husband Ric Ocasek to dinner during this difficult time.

In other startling news, Kathy Griffin, the Joan Rivers' rip-off comic, appeared at the 2018 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner looking like death warmed over as insiders are alleging the ailing comic is suffering from a disease that can be fatal and strikes the gay community although no one is immune from the disease. Everyone is wishing Kathy well in her future endeavors of attacking public figures and then running and crying victim when her targets bite back.

Simon and the gang are back as they gear up for another stellar ratings hit season on NBC. They were at the NBCUniversal Summer Press Day on May 2. They are so happy that the Sterns are blocked from entering their space.






Beth missed out on a plus-one opportunity with her old buddy Pruneface from the Dick Tracy comics serial. We haven't seen her in awhile and we don't really care.

Jill "Pruneface" Martin with the floppy
breast implants was absent her Boob Plus-One
Beth O for the Cinema Society screening of
"The Con Is On".

In hilarious news, President Trump's personal hair doctor, Dr. Harold Bornstein, got into trouble for revealing The Don uses Propecia, a hair growth drug as we wonder what Howard Stern uses on his weave. The doctor got fired by the President even though the doctor didn't think he violated any medical confidentiality laws by saying the President uses a hair growth drug.

Have a happy weekend Beth Fans. I'm spending it in bed.

#dawgshed #howardstern  #bethstern
#kathygriffin  #paulinaporizkova
#bethnobodyhavingaselfiemeltdown
#metgala  #metropolitanmuseum
#goaskhowardaboutharold  #bornstein