Raising Cane

Just like Howard Stern, 82 year old Reynolds
still wears heels and a hair system and
has to use a cane to stay vertical.
Photo is from
JanetChartlonsHollywood.com.

Well I guess Howard wants to join all the other 80+ year old men and start raising cane like he talked about this week on his rarely live satellite radio show. 

As I said in my March 14 blog entry, Howard said it was a hiking stick and didn't want to use a real cane and Beth was all upset over that in an episode that didn't quite make the cut as Episode 2 in this year's on-air skit called "Howard's Boob" as I have blogged about before in case you wonder about that new series Howard started last year chronicling the antics of that boob Beth he married hoping to appeal to the commoner who listens to his radio show.

Funny how many times before whenever Howard wants to hobble around New York on his own, he always inserts his eldest daughter into the picture, like years ago when they paraded into the Marshall Chess Club together and everyone thought it was Howard's girlfriend Beth but it was Emily his daughter. Some mistake, but Howard wants it that way. I have blogged about this incident before because a chess blogger reported that Howard never played chess, but sat there with the club's chess master watching the boys play chess, yes boys, with Emily in tow and had to correct himself that it was a woman he was told with an unpronounceable last name and thought it was Ostrosky and was told no, it was Howard's daughter Emily. 

Just this past weekend, suddenly Howard claims to have wanted to parade around a "museum" when before when he told this story Emily is always in the picture. Most of the time, Beth is shuttled out of town when Howard needs these Beth-free weekends to spend with Emily like he's got to get back to the "museum" or a chess club or having some nerd dinner with "the guys" cough, cough. Emily dyed her dark hair blonde to pass as Beth on occasions which is just bizarre, like at the Marshall Chess Club when everyone thought she was Beth since Beth was a super famous nobody and no one knew what she looked like anyway so Howard passed off Emily as his girlfriend to troll around NYC. Jim West, a chess blogger, said Howard was with his girlfriend with a difficult last name to remember, like it was difficult to pronounce. Later he corrected himself saying it was Howard's daughter Emily that escorted her dad around the club. Howard never played chess, just sat with the Chess Master watching the kids play.

Well, Beth cannot take it when Howard indulges his alter ego Helen Stern and frankly, Beth won't budge on this. We all remember yrs ago when Beth and Howard raced off to a Halloween party, Beth dressed as a Catholic school girl [I know, Miss Giant Underpants and fat thighs stuffed in a school girl outfit would have been a riot to see] and Howard was a Hooters Girl. Howard related this story on his radio show and said the costume wasn't working and they bolted back home. Well, Howard suddenly hates Halloween and no longer dresses in drag in public. He used to dress in drag on Letterman but he's been shoved off onto a pay service much like what happened to Howard, no one can stand these old farts anymore and shoves them to a pay service where there are no ratings or viewer numbers that can be substantiated but these cable and streaming services are desperate for content and love the dinosaur catalog for their diverse viewership.

Howard used to appear all the time
in drag for his publicity events
until he met Beth O.

It seems Howard needs these jaunts outside the marriage and funny no one recognizes him and snaps a photo when he is out and about with only his daughter or allegedly alone [Howard is never alone]. Well, he may be unrecognizable because he may dress up like Emily Stern [but Howard's drag name is Helen]. Who knows, right? We just wonder what the big secret is and why Beth refuses to be seen in public with Howard in drag. 

I thought Beth was a fun date. Nope, apparently not, she's got to be the one in drag, not Howard.

Gosh, who knew Howard got his idea for Beth lazing around the house snapping her picture all the time, from the famously gay Truman Capote. Beth has copied him more than a few times in the past on her big Instagram show. Gosh, Truman wasted all that time writing all those books and screenplays when he could have stuck an animal in his photos and badgered the public to just throw cash at him as if the public owes him a living since that's what Beth thinks about herself.

Beth copies that other Hamptonite, the late great Truman Capote since she fancies herself
a famous author too but her books are bullshit downloaded from the Internet or useless
kitty cat stories teaching kids how to bully kittens and lock them in a room until
they can be dumped onto other people for a lifetime of vet bills.

So, I have been asked, what's the deal with the Aniston/Theroux breakup? Well, I have blogged about them several times so a quick search should bring up some info. But this divorce bit is stemmed from the alleged MURDER ON THE HONEYMOON. 

I know, Theroux joked on the Kitty Kelly Ripa Show about how he was scuba diving and almost drowned on his honeymoon in Bora Bora, but everyone remembers the personal assistant to that producer Joel Silver when they were there for the Aniston honeymoon in spite of Jen trying to spin a different story behind the scenes to the press by saying the Silver family and their entourage were there on their own family vacation separate from them when that's not true. Silver and his family and his PA Carmel Musgrove were there raising cain with the Aniston honeymoon party which included Jimmy Kimmel and Molly McFlirty [oh yeah, you read that right, but you may have guessed the wrong sex that she likes to flirt with]. 

In August of last year, the family of Miss Musgrove sued Silver over his involvement with a drug fueled party when Musgrove disappeared and was later found nude on the beach dead of an apparent drowning. The Anistons claim to have fled the island well before the drowning, but sources allege they only hopped that plane back to the States before the body could be discovered. Joel Silver's entourage occupied a reported 40 bungalows at the Four Seasons Hotel as a part of the Aniston/Theroux honeymoon party. Well, so much for the gossip corner, but Jen's prenup kicks in and Theroux is getting paid to go away. If any other lawsuits hit the fan, the Aniston and Theroux fortunes are split. So much for a honeymoon in paradise, right Jen OLD girl? Time to go back to your regular doctor visits since you have to get camera ready for your next big straight to bomb production.

Post-Divorce Dilemma

Well, we are slowly finding out that there is more than one way to raise cain.

Happy Freak Face Friday, Beth! Only the lonely care about appearances, right? Beth was always the master at Raising Cain.

#Dawgshed  #howard #hooters #halloween #justin
#howardstern  #betho  #bethstern #emily stern #marshall
#jenniferaniston  #raisingcain #emily