Follow This, You Bitches

Go ahead, try and follow one of the world's greatest performers and dazzling divas of stage, screen, and music, the one and only CHER is coming BACK to Broadway, well, at least her story is. She appeared on Broadway in 1982 in the Altman play "Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean".

In this long awaited musical of Cher's life, it was rumored she would make an appearance at the end of each performance, but that's only a rumor. Three actresses are set to play the part of Cher at different stages in her life with everyone in Hollywood vying for the parts like the shorty Lady Gaga, that other shorty with the huge thighs Madonna, Anne Hathaway, Renee Zellweger, Fergie, just about every actress and singer wants a part in the musical since it's just sure to win a bunch of Tony Awards.

I know your next question, who is doing the costumes? The one and only Bob Mackie and yes, this blogger has met him and he could not be nicer if he tried. He is super cute and his models that were with him at the event were flawless, much like Dame Beth-Man. 

Drawings by Bob Mackie.

I know your next next question is what about Beth and Howard Stern? Yes, Howard is a little Broadway Diva himself what with investing in a few shows [like reportedly for his former girlfriend Mary McCormack] and he just loves the backstage banter with the boys and we know Beth is a famous backdoor gal with all entry access [did I say that right?]. Howard is already going nuts over the costumes that will be in the musical and we just know he wants Felix the Tailor to duplicate them for him in size giant and he'll pretend they're for Beth for some appearance where she shills for the disgusting American Humane Association that's funded by the Screen Actors Guild to look the other way when animals are neglected and abused in the movie and TV industries. Everyone believes this sham since Beth and Howard are obviously the same size and can wear the same clothes and Beth would show up to a KKK cookout if it got her name in the press, oh they could make her their spokesperson and she could get a nice salary since that's all she lives for since Howard refuses to fund any projects for her. Her big show on Instagram is obviously free and she fights for space with those cats she's forced to house for 10 days before throwing them at other people and running and claiming it's charity work.

Beth of course always claimed she was some Broadway insider what with paying some old hag to come out of the closet just to do an article to push Beth in our faces by claiming Beth dated the two-timer, I mean, two-time Tony Award winner Michael Cerveris, the guy who performs in a ballet tutu for his own band [ref: Beth Fan Page January 3, 2017, "Cracking the Egg"].

I don't know when Howard is funding a book and movie deal for Beth the Invisible European Model. It would also make a great Broadway play since they wouldn't have to cast anyone to play Beth since she was invisible during her big modeling days throughout Europe, South Africa, Shanghai, and Flanders. We know she was created in a lab by aliens and she can hardly hide it anymore. 

Anyway, the rarely vertical Howard is hoping Cher will get desperate enough to appear on his reaper radio show to promote her Broadway musical but I highly doubt she would ever stoop that low to be interviewed by a dull dinosaur who is fidgeting about whether or not he should divulge that free coffee he gets to his tax man. At least we know he and the other big executive staff can write-off that one bagel per employee each week on their taxes, gosh, heaven forbid Howard dip into those cash reserves in the Caymans.

Andy Cohen, the Sirius Golden Child, will no doubt
interview Cher when her musical hits Broadway and we know
he will be front and center at the Broadway show.

#dawgshed #broadway

#bethstern  #howardstern  #nydailynews  #nypost

#cerveris  #cher   #tonys

#bethisaboringbitch