Beth Stern's Fat Ass Fashion Week

Yes, from the combined brain power of the two aged peanut heads of Stern & Buchwald, we get Beth Stern's Valentine's Fashion Week, a Howard Stern Production. 

It's all because Beth couldn't horn in on Fashion Week in New York this past week and was shuttled off to the Florida white elephant because Howard has to buy property to save face that he and Beth are barely tolerated among the wealthy and elite of NY social and celebrity society. Their Florida sinkhole has only a few rooms that have electricity and the rest is shut down to save on expenses. Of course, they've got their botoxology clinic and fake tanning spa and cellulite wrap bar in the basement away from direct sunlight or the Sterns' faces will melt. Beth can only run outside for a cell phone photoshoot for 10 minutes before she races back indoors or she and Howard will turn into spotted owls.

I've gotta hand it to them, I couldn't think of something more stupid if I tried and it's to deflect from the obvious, that no one could score Beth a ticket this time to fashion week in New York, you know, where designers seek out the top models and celebrities to show off their clothes and only the top people get to sit in the front row of the shows. As shown on the sidebar of this blog, last September Beth managed to score a spot standing outside of a fashion show in front of the fake trees and grass, no photos have emerged of Beth actually attending a show since she probably couldn't brag about her seat placement [other than the saggy placement of her own seat]. Howard Stern and his daddy agent were working overtime on a gimmick for Beth to deflect from the fact no designer wants to see Beth in their clothes since it translates into zero dollars from the buying public. Nobody cares what Beth wears since the designs Beth can fit into look like they are straight out of the Lane Bryant catalog.

So instead of New York's Fashion Week, Howard Stern staged a Florida Valentine's Fashion Week for Beth where she poses in different outfits claiming it's for Valentine's week not day, which normal people celebrate, get it Beth? They don't make a huge deal out of it since it's just a marketing scheme for Hallmark cards but the aged lovebirds that nobody cares about have to pretend they are devoted to each other when it's just Howard desperate to silence the screaming banshee who badgers him nonstop to be famous and get her in print somewhere in some magazine or online jumble of non-stories and garbage tabloid sites, so Howard has to take some cell phone photos of his pariah and post them on that big free site called Instagram, the go to site of teenagers and cheap celebs who don't want to pay to maintain a real website to plug their big famous life. 

Save these pix folks from Beth's IG show. They will most likely
be recycled again this summer in Social Life Magazine when
Howard pays for his annual cover feature for his shorty legged fat assed wife.

Howard has no content to maintain a website just for himself and/or Beth since they don't do anything. They horn in on a few events each year having zero to do with themselves, it's not their work product, just horning in on some movie screening or crashing a party for charity where they hog a seat and no one has the courage to tell them to leave. Howard has a free website that's maintained by Sirius satellite radio and Beth has a defunct website featuring nothing but her old first book that came out in 2010 and announcing the adoption of their cat Apple who has been dead for over two years.

Howard had the nerve to highlight all of Beth's body flaws in the photo below posted on Beth's big IG show. She's got the flabby fugly ass [what happened to Beth's Spanx collection?], shorty thick legs, and has to wear huge dumb heels since she is barely above 5'7". Hardly a runway model, more like a runaway train wreck model in the Florida everglades where Howard constantly has to play cell phone photog to Beth's big ass supermodel. Some role playing there, no wonder he keeps trying to move Beth and the O Family Flying Circus south permanently so he can move on with his big career goals of bothering movie and television producers and trying to work out a deal with his next book ghostwriter. Howard can't wait to boast about his big life that his first wife Alison had no clue about which is all a farce of course, since the first wife knew he was attempting to dump her before she could dump him but she had proof of a certain Volleyball Twin hiding In Plain Sight after being laughed off the Peet moss playing field.

So where is Howard's big autobiography all about how he met Beth? Howard sang a song on his old radio show about being a Tortured Man because he was married to his first wife Alison and had the three lazy ass kids who did nothing but fax their food orders to the cook downstairs in their kitchen. We can't wait for that fairy tale as Howard suddenly knows he's got to be careful what he puts in print, so is having trouble with avoiding the whole thing and working with his ghostwriter who is having problems working out a story that doesn't come across as completely farcical and be laughed off bookshelves. We hear his ghostwriter has fled the scene and is suddenly not so brave about doing yet another unauthorized biography about some celeb since he just mainly copies from the National Enquirer or maybe a few Vanity Fair articles, changes around the wording and slaps his name on the project.

I bet Stern's fans would love another book from the King of All Bullshit, right?

Well, the unauthorized author Halperin uncovered MJ but when will he uncover HS? Howard is a fan of MJ and would only defend him against the pedo allegations IF he consented to a monotonous torturous interview on Howard's terrestrial radio show. So that was a no for the MJ camp yet Howard loves the MJ look and is dying to redo his weaved perm in MJ's style.

Oh my gosh, Beth is not considered well known, well bred, or well to do like LOIS POPE. The other seven women named in the article from Palm Beacher Magazine are Margaret Luce, Frances Fisher, Herme de Wyman Miro, Lourdes Fanjul, Kathryn Vecellio, Wendy Roberts, and Amanda Schumacher. But Beth's inbred and from Jupiter too, right? Oh wait, that's Mars. 

Just love it that Miss Katie Lee Social Climber is also on the board of the New York City Food Bank as Howard Stern races to get in line at Katie Lee's kitchen. Feed the hungry you know, and Howard is hungry for someone who can make him famous and get him back on TV. Maybe Howard should try the foodie network of people who pretend to eat that crap? He could ham it up on the show and dance around saying how great it is to eat tons of radiated seafood and then plan on a throw up session after the show to keep his potbelly physique with the atrophied arms and legs.

Howard Stern dresses like a woman in need.

#halperin  #dawgshed  #stern
#katieleekitchen  #howardstern #mj
#bethostrosky  #bethstern
#newyorkfashionweek2018