Have a Mary Friday

It's the yearly visit of Mary Mary and her turn to appear on Beth Stern's show "The Real Housewife of Instagram", you know, that gal that Howard tested the waters with when his marriage broke up with his first wife Alison when the almost straight to video movie "Private Parts" came out in 1997 and Mary played his movie wife and they became very close.

As this blogger has already talked about, it was Mary that Howard spent tons of time with in Cannes promoting the film as well as having date nights and escorting Mary to a screening of "The Ice Storm" and one wonders where Howard's real wife Alison was. Oh I guess she was home with the kids since the couple were separating and Howard was desperate to move onto a big Hollywood career and with an actress like Mary McCormack but she wanted a real marriage with kids and you know how hard that is for Howard. He just lived in a basement apartment in his Long Island home with the wife and kids having the run of the house while Howard sequestered himself to his own world working on his radio show with his young best friend Ralph Cirella, who is with Howard to this day although relegated to just a toady, fashion adviser, gopher and gossiper while Howard latches onto Felix the Tailor and the bagel boys, coffee boys, photography ass boys, you name it and Howard has a boy assigned. 

Mary appeared on "The Real Housewife of Instagram" last year because she's always there every year around her anniversary with her husband and has to plug this kitten gimmick in return where Howard thinks that naming cats is considered charity work while Beth works on what people will get stuck with her unsocialized ferals that she needs to unload so she can move onto new photo props.

Howard is busy busy still pushing Beth's aged body into the pages of free magazines and has previously admitted on his satellite radio show that he has a boy fill in when he sets up a big photoshoot to take the place of Beth until the shot is all set up and finalized with polaroids taken and then Beth waltzes into the basement studio in the Hamptons. Howard obviously uses a fake background or Beth is just photographed in front of a green screen with the background photoshopped into the picture later to make it appear Beth is being photographed outdoors when the selfie monster has to have special lighting, lenses, tons of makeup and tape to hold back that falling facelift and she can't be exposed to direct sunlight for more than 8 minutes or her face will be a spotted mess from all the laser peels and facial work that has been done as she turns the self-proclaimed age of 45 on July 15.

Hilarious photo from last year when Howard was shooting that aged sand model trying to hide her body and stubby legs while Howard wore a huge plastic surgery protector because his face will turn spotted if he doesn't protect that delicate skin from the sun since he's had so much work, laser peels, you name it aside from hiding those glued-on pieces of hair stuck to his head that would be more obvious in bright sunlight.

Again this year, Howard had to take time off from his stale satellite radio show to bury Beth in the sand and get the photos off to the printer for that third-rate magazine "Social Life" since that's all Beth has to do each year. We just can't wait to see what other stale creep celeb will show up on Beth's Instagram show since Howard surrounds himself with the D List who get stuck with Stern and have to shill for his stupid cat fostering gimmick while Beth collects the dough via donations to her foundation Bianca's Furry Friends and from the North Shore Animal League where she works as their useless spokesperson.

Poor pathetic losers Howard and Beth will never have this to share - yep, watermelon....ha, along with an adorable baby boy.

#simoncowell #howardstern

#marymccormack  #bethstern

#watermelon