Charming Charlie

Charming Charleeeeze Theron was welcomed to the end of her career when her agents Stuck Her With Stern on Wednesday, July 19, and she was forced to be interviewed to plug her new movie featuring herself trying to not look aged and confused since I have no idea who her audience is other than a few misguided bisexual Hollywood directors.

Charming Charlie said she is friends with Howard's little girlfriend who he could never dump after she saw his Private Parts and people are wondering if Mary McCormack had to call in a favor to her rarely faithful drinking buddy to do the Stern show as pay back for sponging off Howard for a week out of each summer when she and her family take over the Hamptons cat prison camp, along with another couple that Mary failed to talk about when she did Radio Andy this week, but I doubt it matters since the Sterns need to start thinking up ways to make their money pit properties start paying for themselves. Charlize has been photographed by the tabs smoking pot on a few occasions so maybe Beth can start growing pot in her Home Goods and claim her property is agricultural land but I have no idea if it's legal in her zip code but it's something the cross-eyed invisible unknown global former supermodel can think about.

1999

Howard and Beth Stern have both stated on many occasions that Beth modeled everywhere including South Africa, just where Charlize is from and I wonder if she knew Beth? Did Howard bring that up in the interview on Wednesday? Oh, how about when Charlize appeared in Playboy Magazine and Beth was offered a Playboy spread by some guy on the street and the shy princess said no and later asked Howard about it since she was thinking of the price she would accept to pose nude. But oh no, Beth can't pose nude since it would reveal tons of stuff she doesn't want revealed unless Howard took the photos and they would be a whited-out blurry mess anyway and I doubt Playboy would print them except if it was a parody issue.

Charlize has had a TON of work done on that face.
Did Howard Stern ask her about that during
her interview on Wednesday? No, because
Howard, like all men, are terrified of this MONSTER.

We know Miss Fat Nose Job has always claimed to be a model and has appeared on various issues of Vogue magazine while Beth claims to have modeled everywhere with only a few defunct no-list magazines to her credit, like FHM, Razor, and Go Hang Yourself.

Did Howard cover all the hot gossip about Charlie and her Chocolate Factory? Well, allegedly she loves threesomes but no word on if they are with guys or gals and she has been linked with Keanu Reeves, Aaron Eckhart, George Clooney, Stuart Townsend and Dwight Yoakam. This tacky bitch was also seen and heard smacking her Nicorette gum so loud during the 2016 Academy Awards that she was told to shut the fuck up by the celebs stuck sitting next to her. How perfect she now landed on the stale Stern satellite radio show on Wednesday being interviewed by the tacky radio DJ who keeps trying to come up with stories to brag about when Beth was a teenager and still claims she gets free stuff to this day based on what I have no idea. But Howard failed to mention he then has to spend a lot of money to get Beth photographed with that free stuff [e.g., tacky necklaces to designer knock-off leather goods to factory fug patio cushions], whether it's in some online magazine or paying to get Beth on a red carpet at some movie screening or benefit, otherwise, she just models her free shit on that free Instagram site.

Want more gossip about Ms. Charming Charlie? These excerpts are from Crazy Days and Nights dot net:

2004 - what is going on
with Beth's naturally
fake pointy right boob?

Howard sure seemed to try and insert Beth in Wednesday's satellite radio show and it's so funny when he tries to explain how she was some sort of famous model but we have yet to figure out exactly when that was. In 2004, Howard paraded his pudgy girlfriend to the launch party for the real supermodel Gail Elliott and her clothing line "Little Joe" and later Beth attended a trunk show for Gail in 2008. Beth has no history as a model and Howard can't face it unless he thinks modeling sweatshirts for defunct discount stores means you're a famous model equal to the likes of Heidi Klum. But Howard could never hope to get a real model anyway since he's a radio dinosaur who can't afford a second family and any wife of his would have to put up with Howard's real best buddy Ralph. They have been together forever and to this day, they do fashion shows together while they pick out cute underwear and Ralph has his own room at the Stern properties. All perfectly normal, Howard just can't be without his little buddy. You know, like the Skipper and Gilligan, Donny and Marie, or Thelma and Louise.

2008

I know Beth is super photoshopped in her phony photos, but this is ridiculous. Who is Christie kidding here? Miss Granny Face with the tons of plastic surgery still looks OLD in real life even with that pancake makeup and stupid wigs she sells. Get real Social Life, this is getting to be a JOKE. How about renaming your magazine Fantasy Social Life, a.k.a., how I look when my face is completely photoshopped to pretend I am 30 yrs old again instead of being an aged facelifted idiot having to worry about paying the toll to Charon on the River Styx.

Gosh, is it #ThrowbackThursday already? 

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#nobodycanstandcharlizetheron
#dameedna