Take Five

3/20/17 The Boss Baldwin
appears with his family at
The Boss Baby premiere in NY.

As Howard Stern is hiding from oblivion and taking time off from buying day old bagels for his staff at his SiriusXM studios, he can now bother movie producers full-time begging them to let him do voice-over work in animated films. But, we find that Howard suffered yet another blow in that area. We know superstar and supermodel Heidi Klum has done voice-over work in the past and is scheduled to be in an upcoming blockbuster animated film but Alec Baldwin is the big voice in the new animated movie "The Boss Baby" and appeared in New York this date with his family at the baby blue carpet premiere of the film with Howard Stern and his apparently barren botoxed boob from the boondocks Beth Ostrosky Stern MIA.

Oh guess who is also featured in the film voicing the characters? Oh, just JIMMY KIMMEL and Howard's nemesis Lisa Kudrow with Howard still mad that Beth O didn't get the part of the snarky waitress in that TV sitcom "Mad About You", but let's not digress. Oh yeah, I think that evil Jimmy Kimmel character is just about ready to appear on the Howard Stern stale satellite radio show anytime now. Howard always creates a character to talk through to vent his jealousy towards celebs he's mad at who diss him or just ignore him and have real lives and careers with real wives and babies they can talk about and appear together at media events.

Howard would have less than zero of a career had not his man in a dress best friend Martine signed Stern to a huge contract with the fledgling Sirius satellite company in competition with the XM satellite company that turned down Howard's overpriced demands at joining their company. XM featured superstars like the Oprah Winfrey Channel and audio versions of the Ellen DeGeneres and Tyra Banks shows on a channel called "Take Five". When Howard came to Sirius satellite radio he copied Ellen in that he handed out free satellite radio receivers to crowds of people and audiences in promotional stunts. After the obvious merger of the two companies since both were in the red, Howard kissed the lesbian and bisexual butts of Ellen and Tyra to get Beth guest appearances on their respective TV shows and it worked of course.

In cross promotional stunts, the SiriusXM satellite radio company wants to have its stars on both TV and on their channels so obviously they got Howard Stern a judging job on NBC's "America's Got Talent" which also served to get Howard some money since his lawsuit against his Sirius employers was rocketed out of a window and was an airborne flaming ball that ended up landing in a garbage bin. However, NBC was furious because Stern tanked ratings for the network like there's no tomorrow and after his four-year debacle, he was not asked back and Simon Cowell took over for Season 11 [Season 10 was Stern's last]. Simon hit record high ratings than in all the four years prior which were the Stern years, which many refer to as the Hindenburg Howard Years on NBC.

We love it that now Howard and his constant companion Ralph Cirella can have some more time together with Beth bumped all around between properties getting her photo prop cats sent back to her and she has to re-gift them to another pigeon. Howard's been having problems stopping those butterflies in his stomach because of worrying about how to get the dough to keep buying houses to keep the families apart and quiet. Oh yes, a rumor has resurfaced that Howard has always owned mansions in Los Angeles and San Francisco which is dicey since they're in a community property state. We would love to know who is he communing with other than Ralph and Bethie. Maybe a ferret will find its way to a phone and let DBM get the scoop on all the gossip. Oh wait, aren't ferrets outlawed in California? Darn.

#Alecbaldwin #eviljimmykimmel
#hilariabaldwin #thebossbaby
#bethisabotoxboss
#lingvistov