Howard Stern's Plugs

Howard Stern's got a lot of plugs to plug as he fights to keep his dull satellite in orbit around the U.S. and I guess Canada and the Island of Lesbos where he hopes to retire one day and become a transvestite dress designer while that plug he married Beth Ostrosky Stern orders giant dresses for herself that her hubby can wear from Net-A-Porter that Beth keeps plugging and has yet to score a cover photo on their magazine featuring giant sizes, knock-offs, and disasters from the fashion runway. 

On Wednesday's satellite radio show, Howard made sure to plug the Apple iPhone and it's "Siri" built-in computer program so you can use verbal commands and normal speech to tell it to go find your photos from the Internet to ensure the paid photog uploaded them to the public media sites and then you can feel happy you got your money's worth and hogged that red carpet at that event you went to yet had nothing to do with in the first place but you are desperate for fame and then deny it when cornered, right Beth?

Is that a gold Chanel purse?

Yep, on his radio show, Howard was heard dissin' his plug while plugging that iPhone feature called "Siri". Howard said Beth keeps yelling into her iPhone saying "Suri", as in the name of Tom Cruise's alleged biological daughter when everyone thinks a family member was the donor but who knows in the world of Xenu and Xanadu. Beth has always been jealous of the little tyke of Tom's since she is very popular and very fashionable and Beth can't afford to hire Suri's stylist. Well, Beth, maybe you should come up with something growing in a biology lab and maybe you could have an adorable daughter like Suri who actually looks like a girl and not something a baker delivered on a truck called a Noel Clare. But, you would think Howard could plug the iPhone's new computer program Siri without dissin' his plug. Hmmm, wonder what happened there and who wrote that bit for the air for the rarely sober Howard Stern with the distorted Botox and injectable filler weird grimaces with the plugs on his head that are demanding a pay raise.

Well, at least Howard thinks Beth looks like a Playboy Playmate, he did mention that on Tuesday's satellite radio show so that should've made the old plug happy.

Howard is himself an old plug and has to plug D-List has-beens who still think they are top celebrities when they are in lowbrow junk films while the studio honchos work on funding their big money making stars like the rarely vertical Jennifer Lawrence that spends most of her days under wrap and key getting that fug face redone and the weight off those big bones. So what happened to Howard and Miss D-List Jennifer Aniston? This excerpt if from 2012 and pretty much sums up that Jen that nobody can stand. Her head is enormous from her delusions that she's a big star:

Oh, this little item is making someone with the initials H.S. super angry, as in punch the wall angry and has to spend time out at a feral farm to calm down and pretend it doesn't bother him. A certain supermodel with the initials H.K. has gotten voice work before in animated films and videos and is a professional when tackling any job she takes on unlike certain other people who keep getting their unaired TV pilots shelved into infinity.

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#bethisaboob