Wild Wild Beth

Beth Stern attends the Get Wild Summer Benefit for the Evelyn Alexander Wildlife Rescue Center in the Hamptons on August 13 since she was snubbed once again by the annual Authors Night in the Hamptons where her Yoda the Cat series of books have been a crashing failure and completely ignored at the event to benefit the Hamptons Library.

Big Beth Buttinsky normally crashes events where she pays about 0.0 to attend since she horns in as a plus one, or in this case, she horned in on the fundraising committee to ensure that she can parade around for free and cover up and hide her plastic surgery and giant horse hair fried extensions from those pesky candid cameras and when she is in an uncontrolled and horribly lit environment, meaning the outdoors. You see, she only appears wild and free and running around in bikinis on her own private property in the Hamptons with giant sheets hung around the entire encampment in case a floating paparazzo meanders by in his boat and snaps a coveted candid camera shot of big Beth. So, Howard Stern's got his trusty iPhone camera on a tripod and then the photos are airbrushed to hell in his basement studio where photoshopping elves make the saggy aged menopausal model wannabe look like she has actual skin tone and golden skin instead of her naturally cadaverous pasty skin with pancake makeup filling in those enlarged pores and a turbo padded bra hoisting upon that saggy bustline.

Beth, as usual, covers up and hides from candid cameras as her buddy, the divorced and on the prowl Missy Hargraves bares all for the candid cameras since she's got nothing to hide like Miss Menopause looking like she needs a bit of Boniva.

8-13-16, Missy with Beth who
has to hide her flabby body
with a huge giant gown. Where's
all your curves Beth? You know,
the ones in Howard's phony
bikini shots of you?

Howard and Beth were friends with Missy and her now ex-husband Jeff Ross as we wonder why Howard also hides from the candid cameras? We know he was there this year with Big Beth, since he has to be the one to get her the recognition she deserves as the WIFE of Howard Stern, right? Gotta let the doormen, footmen and handymen at these Hamptons snooty events know who's who and what's what. 

Oh, I know, supposedly the Kimmels are with the Sterns this weekend in the Hamptons but I think at this point, everyone knows Beth's helpers just upload a bunch of photos all at once on Instagram making the Sterns look busy. Beth has no concept of what Instagram means. 

2007, the Sterns at the Get Wild benefit in the
Hamptons with Missy and Jeff Ross.

Get Wild event in 2014, Missy with Beth, who was all covered up again hiding from candid
cameras in case they see she has giant fat tree stump legs.

Everybody at the Hamptons Authors Night on Saturday were celebrating freedom from the Sterns for another year. Good goin' guys.

We can't wait to see if Beth gets a big cover party sponsor for her big Social Life magazine cover feature this month. Normally they just horn in on the Social Life publisher's dinner where Howard and Beth arrive 30 minutes early, take a bunch of photos and then leave, since they are only cheapskate party crashers in the Hamptons and everyone knows it.

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#sociallifeblunder