We're Chomping at the Bit

We've been getting teasers for several weeks now of what we think will be Beth Stern's big butt spread in an upcoming issue of Social Life Magazine, including those featured plugs about her cat rescue gimmick where she rescues cats already adopted by people approved by the North Shore Animal League with fees waived and you get a free photo with Beth the camera hog when she delivers your cat to your home as long as you live on the way back to the city so Howard Stern can count the gas mileage as a charitable expense. 

Every year since 2010, Howard Stern pays for the entire cover feature for Social Life magazine and takes all the hilarious photos himself of his photoshopped wife since she refuses to appear in shots that show her entire body all at once in one picture frame unless she bends down or hides her lower body or Howard can paint black shading along the sides of her out-of-shape wide body. All of Beth's photos are airbrushed and smudged, with her aged features practically erased since she is embarrassed she is an old spent hen. So we can likely assume Beth will grace those free pages once again this year and everyone at those real estate offices can wonder how to unload them again with that ol' Howard Stern's wife back on the cover, my gosh, those two have nothing to do since they are ignored pariahs everywhere but in their own weaves.

We know [as posted many times on this blog] that Beth has appeared in candid shots but her face and head are covered up with hats and dark glasses and the entire lower half of her body is hidden by a huge bed sheet or she's submerged in water with her lower regions either not visible because of the camera angle or they are smudgy. Or sometimes, she is photoshopped laying flat on her back with heavy shading around her wide body while posing next to a swimming pool.

Nope, Beth has never been seen in fully candid paparazzi photos in a bikini or sans a bikini since all the battle scars of the botched procedures and liposuction [including alleged C-section scars since the rumors won't go away even though she was a victim of the 3-mile Island radiation fallout and is most likely a sterile cuckoo]. Some women hide C-section scars with plastic surgery and tattoos. 

Beth should get a huge Wonky the dead Feral Cat tattoo covering part of her lipo and tummy tuck scars. Then she could claim it was all in honor of that stray cat that she randomly fed for photoshoots until it was found dead in the bushes, where? Oh, on her property, off to the side of that speedway, I mean, driveway that she races up and down while claiming she doesn't drive - but she admitted to having a driver's license when Robin Quivers posed that question to her about 8 years ago when they were discussing the name on her driver's license, if it said Beth Ostrosky or Beth Stern and she said Beth Ostrosky.

Oh, we can't wait for that cover feature. It's the only issue that Editor Devorah Rose says she does not produce. Howard Stern sends her a million photos of Beth and she picks the least horrible ones to publish. It's just a free shit magazine anyway, like it matters.

Let the laughs begin. I guess this debacle may be the cover of that free Social Life magazine, who knows, but apparently it's the only magazine that will let Beth on the cover every year. We've got the turtleneck top to hide the botched breast implants and we see the lipo scars across her disturbing abdomen.

Heidi you ask? Oh, she don't care. She's got her own line of lingerie and doesn't need airbrushing. She's either naked on the beach for the paparazzi or rocks the tiny bikini because she was a real model, not like Miss Portly from Pittsburgh with the polyester pants portfolio.

#sociallifemagazine #Bethdebacle #HeidiIsHot #Bethisahotmess 
#bikini  #turtleneck  #lipo  #social