One Direction

I guess all that rapid fire phoning is not paying off for Howard Stern because so far, he has failed to score a free trip to LA to be a guest judge on NBC's "America's Got Talent" (AGT) and we wonder why. Didn't Howard claim to leave the show on his own? He was not forced off or anything, right? Why wouldn't AGT want that big ratings killer Howard to appear as a guest judge? Oh wait. But NBC is already contracted with the SiriusXM satellite radio corporation that's stuck with the aged cheese and have had to crowd their channels with Radio Andy, NBC's Today Show, and sports channels to bump up subscriptions aside from the new car market which bailed it out of bankruptcy. The producers of AGT are fighting to avoid Howard's phone calls, according to sources working for the show who have declined to be mentioned here since they are terrified of more rapid fire phone calls from Stern himself trying to tell them how famous he is while his career is as dead as that thing living on his head.

Super Media Mogul Simon Cowell is taking the show in One Direction, with Simon getting a superstar under 65 to be a guest judge, one with something called "fans" and not paid followers and worshippers of the aged DJ and his aged social pariah wife. Yes, AGT is getting Louis Tomlinson as a guest judge.

Howard kept jumping on the stage hoping to be
 discovered and get his own show on TV.
Howard was canned from this show for his antics and
causing the ratings to tank.

Gossip about Simon? Oh there's plenty.

Meanwhile the struggling radio dinosaur Howard Stern has to call in a few favours from celebs falling off the D-List to get some guests to appear on The Real Housewife of Instagram. Remember with Stern, if you want publicity on his show [I know, it means you are pretty desperate] you have to play house with that wife of his, Beth, and fawn over her and play pretend games that she was a famous model.

From the desk of Howard - Desperate to Make His Wife Famous Before He Dies - Stern:

DON'T FEAR THE REAPER

Is your career officially over? Do you need free publicity for your next feature failure in movies or on TV or to sell your loser CD? Then come to Howard Stern's Feral Cat Camp & Photography Studio. Get your picture taken for Beth Stern's reality show The Real Housewife of Instagram, and you might be featured in an upcoming free lifestyle magazine featuring yourself with a cover story about Beth Stern, who posts dozens of selfies with a few cats thrown in on her media sites and calls it charity work. Howard might also mention your name on his satellite radio show. Now won't that help your dead career? 

Scientologists love Howard Stern. We all remember that staged phony affair of that lazy-eyed Katharine McPhee with Mary McCormack's husband a few years ago. How boring, but Mary is desperate for publicity since losing out on that cable TV show featuring Mary as a half naked menopausal woman panting in bed. Gosh, wonder why that was canceled. Mary is now scheduled to appear in an instant borefest, a movie called "Drone". So if Howard is to plug Mary and her movie on his satellite radio show, she first has to appear on The Real Housewife of Instagram and kiss Beth's big ass and pretend cats are babies since Beth has a demented thing going on, where the alleged barren monster is obsessed with treating cats as human babies, with the diaper bags she carries around, putting baby blankets around the cats, then her bizarre crying when she hands the cats over to real foster homes, it's all documented on her Instagram reality show, yet Beth has never met reality.

Mary Mary was competing to be Howard's wife #2
but she wanted kids and Howard wanted a model. 
We see one of them got what they wanted.

Howard donned a woman's hat to hide his facelift and weave from the sun and showed his fan the progress of his big layout all about Beth for Social Life Magazine, unless he managed to score another free digital magazine in the Hamptons to push his pudgy wife onto, Howard pays for Beth to be in that magazine every year. No, it's not free for the advertisers or the people featured. They pay to be in the magazine and it's provided free to real estate offices and on private planes heading for South America chartered by persons fleeing U.S. authorities. Notice her fat ass is buried in the sand along with those monster thighs. Howard has to take time off from his pre-recorded satellite radio borefest to photograph Beth and airbrush the hell out of the photos to show his Hamptons neighbors he married a menopausal model failure with a face so fuzzy in photos, you would think she was a fuzzy 48 year old with a husband with an airbrush gun. 

As usual, Beth has to fill her empty hours and empty glass so she shows her Instagram reality show fans that she rides back and forth to a veterinary clinic with Yoda the Declawed Cat to see the status of his phony heart ailment that was cured by him swatting cats off his cat trees at Stalag Beth, his permanent home in the Hamptons where he is King of his Hill and, as documented many times on this blog, Beth has shown evidence on her media sites of Yoda bullying the kittens into submission, hissing and snarling at them and hogging cat trees. 

What about Wonky the dead feral cat? Beth has banned anyone from bringing him up since he was found dead in the bushes at her cat prison camp in the Hamptons.

Yes, this is Beth's life where she documents her mental breakdown on Instagram and claiming all her saggy boob and menopausal crotch shots are "cat photos" while calling small children her "friends", if that's not creepy. Well, everything about Beth sends you running to your nearest judge to get a court-ordered restraining order. Just ask her old boyfriends, oh right, there are none. Wonder why. No names have ever been mentioned, only a remote inference that the Tony award winner Michael Cerveris was connected with Beth with sources saying that Beth gave him her new phone number at the now-Stern corporate HQ in Manhattan and then cried to Howard that Michael keeps phoning her and is jealous - well duh, bitch, you gave him the number. Oh, jealous jealous, right, yet not one boyfriend will come out of the CLOSET to claim they ever dated Beth and/or they were jealous that she landed a giant turkey who's stuck on a radio dial.

#marymccormack
#hamptons #sociallife
#yoda  #wonky  #simon  #agt