Moth-Eaten

Howard Stern's stale satellite radio show is now officially moth-eaten after the appearance of the musical guest Aurora Asscan or something, who is next in line to copy Sia who copied Lady Gaga who copied Lady Madonna. Aurora was Howard's musical guest on Monday's show because she has a connection with the creator, writer and star of the soon to be canceled HBO show called "Girls" because the cast of the show have been waving good-bye to girlhood for about 10 years. Yes, a song by the amazingly dull Aurora was featured on an episode of "Girls" and Howard had a big tizzy fit of excitement hoping to grab a piece of free press since he scored a guest who was under 60, barely relevant yet still vertical. 

We know ever since that staged publicity stunt when Howard called Lena Dunham fat, his stupid wife Beth O Stern [a desperate housewife dying to be in the presence of anyone on television] snatched a purebred Sphynx cat from Florida and gifted it to Lena claiming the expensive purebred cat was homeless and had to be rescued by Beth [BFP June 1, 2015]. It has been clearly rumored, that Lena's story for her farcical autobiography where a radio host in college violated her person, was ghostwritten by the King of Mothballed Radio, Howard Stern. Has he come clean with that story? Oh, I guess it's only gossip and rumor. Sorry sorry sorry.


Miss Cat Lady Foster Mom Expert has no idea how to spell this cat breed's name because she's a phony and it was either doing this cat rescue charity gimmick or she would still be stuck modeling hula-hoops on city streets while trying to horn in as a stage prop on late night television.

Beth continues to document herself badgering animals at her prison camp of captured photo props that she keeps for about 10 days of endless photo shoots before dumping them onto foster homes and the trips are normally tied in with Howard having to return to the city to prepare for his scripted and recorded satellite radio show so all their little limo jaunts can be paid by their foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends and the charity where Beth is a self-proclaimed spokesperson and volunteer, the North Shore Animal League (NSAL), that supplies all the cat food, pet beds, and cages for the little prisoners.

Oh yes, Beth has a history of placing kittens in danger where they are frequently injured, that is, the ones that we hear about while others are shuttled back to NSAL with the photos destroyed.

Howard even hires a stand-in for the Beth Stern unreality show, The Real Housewife of Instagram unless he's getting his liver spots lasered off his arms and has to cover up and hide from any sunlight while waiting for his limo ride back to the city.

Photo from Beth's Instagram from 2014 showing more animal endangerment and abuse:

Howard stopped trying to lift barbells since the weights
fell off the ends when he was changing the sizes
and broke his finger years ago. Now he
just makes everyone laugh by playing row row row
your boat in the village of the damned.

Howard is so desperate to impress the John Varvatos models that he is buying weaved permed wigs to match the runway hotties. We wonder how those date nights with the pasta and shrimp in Tribeca are going? Oh right, old man Howard said he bought a rowing machine, as if we needed that mental image of a pudgy old fart rowing in the village desperate to be young for the hunks hanging around the Varvatos design studios.

Keep exercising those demons, Howard, you just might win after all and the ol' ball and chain finds a skyscraper that can make her famous. I just hope she doesn't forget her parachute otherwise she might become famous postmortem.

#stalagbeth #howardstern #reaperradio