Haggler Loves Howard

Okay, I am trying to take this in while meeting deadlines and understand the hilarity of Howard's latest hysterically funny publicity piece. 

So "The Haggler" works for the NY Times who battles against suppliers of alleged bad products like refrigerators and stuff, to get consumers the justice they deserve in the pursuit of cold beer. 

Yep, this same guy who writes filler articles for the Sunday papers as "The Haggler" just did a PR piece for "Mr. Stern" as Howard likes to be called since that Mister Mister Mister title is well-deserved of a low rent shock jock who loves faux underage porn as in daddies sleeping with babysitters because he admits to being addicted to such porno videos on his radio show. I guess it's difficult to deal with his dull work week trying to figure out which pre-recorded tired bits to play for the fan of his dead satellite radio show on SiriusXM while his long time companion Ralph Cirella randomly calls into the rarely live satellite radio show from "the apartment" to insert quips and quotes and Howard makes fun of him before hanging up. Just how are those new digs working out for you two? Okay? Happy snappy little turtles? Good.

Corny Consumer Cop tries to take out a company that provided a bad acting refrigerator to a consumer and fails, then moves onto plugging Howard Stern and his stale satellite radio show. Oh yeah, a Consumer Complaint Cop is an expert on Howard Stern and plugs the Reddit show forum since Howard's got his paid back office plug boys on there raving about his stale, boring radio show.

All pretty hilarious that Howard dug up a consumer complaint columnist to write a publicity piece about him, who is widely ignored even with his little team win of a Pulitzer Prize paid by his paper for a vague category meaning nothing, as Howard is circle jerking the drain once again hoping to sell more of his awful work product to the mainstream public instead of just to the same stale cesspool of subscribers who wander around the radio dial. I mean he thinks he has an "audience". It's just that same guy with a Sirius satellite received duck-taped to his patio railing. OH but I hear he loved that Gwen Stefani interview and ran out and bought a L.A.M.B. and roasted it for dinner.


Now, Miss Bethie is fighting to keep her giant head above water as she reportedly has sent her hounds of hell back to badgering the cable TV channel Animal Planet to put her big cat rescue gimmick on the air. No one can pester anyone better than Beth and Team-O straight out of the Pitts. So, what happened to Miss Cinema Society? Beth keeps missing out on red carpet appearances with her last trot down the scarlet ribbon was April of last year. Gosh, did movie producers finally realize that when you get stuck with the Sterns, it means the grim reaper is knocking at your door? OH, it's a bad omen, and the entertainment industry is filled with superstitions and many wear garlic in their bras to scare away celebrity stalkers who just want to be famous.




Gosh, it's a bit difficult keeping up with the random press attacks launched by the aged goofy doofus twins who are desperate for fame and fame got a restraining order. At least Heidi Klum and Mel B are finally free, finally free, finally free of having to pretend that Beth was a globally famous supermodel and then have to run backstage where you could hear roars of laughter sending MR. STERN into convulsions and having a word with producers that no one is taking their judging jobs seriously when he was on "America's Got Talent". An unnamed producer was reportedly overheard as saying, quote: "Excuse me MR. STERN, they are taking their jobs seriously, it's you and that short thick pudge you married that they are laughing at and making up jokes behind your back since you are an overgrown momma's boy who wears dresses and heels at home who got kicked off free radio and your wife is a stubby legged dejected polyester fat pants model. Have you not seen her hilarious modeling photos all over the Internet?" And Howard would huff and puff and go do some blow - oops, typo, since he never does any type of illegal or illicit drug but we think his therapist wishes he would so he would stop calling him.

#AGT #TheycallmeMISTERstern #haggler #heidi #simon