Teen Cancer Survivor vs Stern's Dead Cancer Cat

It was another big night for that summer reality show NBC's "America's Got Talent" (AGT) on Tuesday, when Simon Cowell hit another home run since taking over as judge since dumping that saggy aged cottage cheese whiz Howard Stern with the dried burnt weeds glued to his head when producers decided enough was enough and they moved the show back to Los Angeles where Simon Cowell is breathing new life into AGT, the TV show that was almost the drowned victim of Howard Stern, the curse of television ratings, the mange on the coat of a dog, the herpes in the Nobu triangle.

Yes, here we go again as Howard Stern tries to compete with Simon Cowell. Howard claimed on his satellite radio show that it was Beth who suddenly got the bright idea to honor one of their cats named Apple who died of cancer. Oh when did this happen? Just over six months ago. Oh right, Beth just thought of all this by herself, to get matching tattoos of the cat's name [correction, it's a crappy tattoo of an apple that looks really stupid and like a pen mark from a distance that needs to be wiped off] on both her and Howard's wrist. Wow what a coincidence, just when Simon had a teen cancer survivor as a contestant on AGT in which Simon awarded her the Golden Buzzer. As if that dullard Beth even knows what day it is or that AGT is still on the air since losing out on those red carpet appearances. Beth ignored her cat Apple when it died, barely making any mention of it on her media sites and suddenly, we've got to honor the dead cancer cat. This smells like Howard the rat chasing cancer cats for attention.

Yes, Mr. Macrame Weave Howard Stern and Mrs. Menopausal Fruitcake get matching tattoos of an apple in honor of Apple the cancer cat who has been dead for over six months and barely rated a mention on Beth's media sites. It was just another photo prop to unload to make room for fresh victims of her staged stagnate life. But, Howard and Beth are desperate for publicity each week since they are competing with Simon Cowell while they also seem to have to dream up some content for that standard, stale cover story for that free D List magazine called Social Life that Beth normally gets every year with Howard taking the hilarious blurry airbrushed photos of his aged wide bodied wife. You know, Social Life magazine as in the social life of the Hamptons herpes cesspool of aged cheeses who think they can buy class when their caravan of useless relatives keep following them around waiting for a bump up in their Trust Fund accounts.

Super media mogul Simon Cowell protests against a horrible practice and asks for support for the Humane Society International to stop animal cruelty while Howard Stern does nothing but throw spaghetti in the garbage and brags about it on his satellite radio show.

Simon and his family
are frequently photographed
on their yacht.

What about Father's Day this year? Well, Howard Stern is having difficulty not only dealing with being kicked off television and back to that stale satellite ignored and spinning in an endless orbit broadcasting to the same stale group of 112 people huddled around one satellite receiver, but that Simon Cowell has a happy family unit consisting of a gorgeous young girlfriend and an adorable son. 

Howard Stern spent a dismal Father's Day on Sunday dressed up like a potted plant in a wool coat waiting for it to rain with fresh black tint on his weaved melon alongside his menopausal fug faced selfie monster with a bucket on her head to hide her patchy hair extensions and gray roots.

Hey, Bethie, still at your Manhattan corporate offices and kitten abduction processing center? Then head out to Macy's Herald Square today and snatch some of Heidi's panties. Go for it, it seems like you play for both teams.