Adoptimals

Howard Stern loves bragging about all that cabbage he has and constantly funds a bunch of little articles to print on the Internet because he is desperate for publicity after getting his ass handed back to him by NBC with Simon Cowell called in to save the day since Howard was tanking his show, "America's Got Talent". But NBC was stuck with Stern for that initial three year contract which sources say, was valued at about 30 million for three years with NBC only agreeing to a one-year extension since Simon was finally free to take over the show and America was finally free of Howard Stern. The aged cheese has had a string of canceled TV shows and unaired TV pilots, many of which are available to heckle on YouTube as no one can believe what a dolt Howard Stern was and that he actually had the nerve to keep producing TV pilots which finally sent network executives to beg North Korea to nuke their HQ to stop Stern from sending them his crappy ideas for his own TV show. 

What happened to Penthouse Howard? When the first wife cashed in and dumped the doofus on the radio, we all thought Howard would have a bunch of beauties swarming around his long luscious wig and get his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame - but, we see what really happened to the divorced and dejected DJ. His wig got chewed off in divorce court leaving him with a weaved ball on his head and he got stuck with a pieced together lab experiment gone awry.

Now that the losers Howard and Beth are stuck with the animal gimmick, we wonder when their TV show the "Adoptimals" will appear on the Hallmark cable TV channel featuring the two loafers who live off of public donations to their foundation Bianca's Furry Friends and to the charity that pays Beth a salary, the North Shore Animal League.

True cheapskates never miss an opportunity to save a buck and the Sterns were in true form on Father's Day, as has been reported on various websites that the Sterns crashed Nobu to eat with fellow camera hogs desperate for attention, Jen & Justine Aniston. However, the Anistons have yet to actually be photographed with the Hamptons Pariah Couple. As usual, the Sterns hauled a cat around to claim their big trip around New York was a part of their charity gimmick for one of their foster cat photo props.

Hey now Howard, how about using this item below for one of your little press releases that you constantly have to do to keep your name afloat as you beg for a job on TV or as a voice-over stooge in a D List animated movie to entertain one of Beth's cross-eyed mistakes from Pittsburgh. Howard has been stuck on a radio dial for about 35 years when he should have retired gracefully when about 75 percent of his fortune flew out the window and Bethie flew into town on her broom to sweep up the remainder.

Oh, what about Heidi? Well her recent appearance in NY promoting her own line of lingerie was a big success as is the norm for this supermodel as Beth scrambles for publicity hoping to one day get her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for something other than walking that same beat everyday.

Some days, the rabbit chases you.

#noelclare #bethostroskystern #penthouse