Stern Meet & Greet Cash Grab

Howard Stern is patting himself on the back for doing this big auction to let some inebriated suckers with a corporate expense account pay for a meet and greet with the aged DJ who is still trying to be shocking when he is just being a shockingly dull failure at everything but sitting on a satellite dish with his listener turning that dial to Radio Andy once again. Sources are saying that poor old Howard is making several mistakes in judgment after being stripped of his judging title on NBC's "America's Got Talent" (AGT) and insists his wife Beth O Stern call him Da Judge around Stalag Beth in the Hamptons while he wears an Imperial Margarine Crown. Yes, Howard and Beth are crowing about this big auction they held to benefit their charity the North Shore Animal League (NSAL) which is in cahoots with their personal foundation Bianca's Furry Friends (BFF) to build some cat closet with BFF's name slapped on it yet the public has to fund it. Howard donates his time by sitting on a burnt out satellite with scripted boredom and taped bits and agrees to say hello to the dopes who are most likely funding a part of Beth's salary as the jerks or jerkettes parade in the studio for their big meet and greet with Howard and get their autographed photo with the guy who was kicked off television once again. Oh yes, your dough will fund Beth's big dream of getting her name and BFF on a cat room at NSAL, where she gets paid to promote them nonstop.

The auction has ended, but we know this won't be the last time Howard donates a studio visit because he is desperate for dough since God knows how many more "cousins" are waiting in the wings to leech off the Stern misfortunes.

Beth also participated in her own meet and greet cash grab by attending the annual Lewyt Luncheon Awards where this time, Beth honored herself for her role in skimming off the top of donations to BFF to help fund that proposed cat room at NSAL. Beth started horning in on the Lewyt Luncheons around 2009, when she started plugging her book "Oh My Dog" which was released in 2010. Beth wore yet another A-Line fat dress for the luncheon on June 15 where Beth was honored for her feat of being able to drag out her cash grab gimmick for four years with this endless promotion of that capital project for NSAL to build a cat room with her foundation's name on it.




Howard Stern is desperate for publicity since getting kicked off television for the millionth time and is spinning out of control trying to keep his name afloat in a sea of spelt and medical waste with Beth posing for airbrushed photos with the cats she decides to keep permanently at her prison camp, Stalag Beth in the Hamptons. How does she choose the cats she keeps? Easy, they are either declawed or blind as a bat so they can't see to jump up and scratch their tacky velvet couches and chintz chairs while the temp cats with claws are kept in designated kitten rooms with crap furniture and fugly factory cushions until they are dumped onto other people who have to worry about curtains getting ripped and couches shredded.

Most likely, we will see this fantasy airbrushed phony photo of Beth exploiting another blind cat in an upcoming issue of Social Life magazine, which is just another free magazine passed around the Hamptons and found only in the best waiting rooms at dental offices and inside chartered airplanes to the Bermuda Triangle:

Probably the most terrifying taped bit in a long time appeared on Wednesday's Howard Stern stale satellite radio show where Howard had a conversation with himself. Yes, it was Howard talking to Howard as we wonder what happened to all of Howard's show writers when I guess he just can't afford them anymore other than Benjy with the tabloid connections and Fred the sound engineer with holes in his brain who has to be reminded to hit a few sound effects buttons in between hiding from the robo cameras in the studio since Howard still is under a deep fantasy that someone will actually pay to hear and see his scripted crap that he calls a radio show. Yes, a new personality has emerged and he is much like the movie character "Bruno" who was gay and wanted to learn how to be straight so he could become a superstar in America. So suddenly we were introduced to "Hung Handsome Howard" (HHH) [it really bothers Howard he can't fuck the big boys, I mean, fuck like the big boys, but what does it matter? Beth only gives BJs since that alleged mistake 21 years ago]. But HHH, in the scripted bit on Wednesday, is the one who gets all the girls and seemed to forget he is married to Big Bethie and even dissed Beth's kitten gimmick. Move aside Helen Stern, we've got HHH now. Gosh I hope Helen doesn't get a crush on HHH and get jealous of Howard spending time with him and murder the host personality, get it, host, radio host, Howard is the host personality, the real one we think, or is he really Helen? Only his doc can unravel this weaved mess. 

Howard's doctor hopes the HHH character gets the demons out of Howard's weave and calms his jealousy towards Simon Cowell. HHH is a way to get back at Simon Cowell and deal with that jealousy that he is back on TV and Howard is back to obscurity. But HHH is better than Simon since he fancies himself a gigolo with girls paying his bills when we know Howard Stern is the stooge stuck with paying all the bills for Beth and the O Clan of Clares. But Simon Cowell is a real mogul who has had many hot girlfriends with apparently no mistake happening 21 years ago that has come back to bite him in the wallet. Simon finally selected a gorgeous gal who left her husband to live with Simon and they now have an adorable son Eric and are blissfully happy. In comparison, Howard's stuck with no TV job and an ugly menopausal dullard wife pushing cats in everyone's faces and Trust Funds that went from mole hills to mountains. 

HHH takes shots at Beth and also at J Lo, who refuses to do his satellite radio show, you know, the scientologists have always supported Howard and parade on his show, but hey, the jerk got kicked off TV as we wonder if J Lo escaped from the clutches of Xenu and is no longer reportedly a member.

Well, you should have cut it off 21 years ago or you wouldn't have allegedly gotten stuck with a selfie monster badgering you to make her famous with three of your property deeds in her name.