Stern's Sabotage Fails

In spite of Howard Stern's constant, incessant, and repetitive plugging, promoting and talking up ABC's "The Bachelorette" it barely got half the viewers of NBC's stellar hit show "America's Got Talent" (AGT) with Simon Cowell making up the top judge of his self-titled Fantastic Four on Tuesday night.

Howard Stern talks endlessly about how glad he is that he's not on AGT anymore. We know he needs more time to pose for newspaper and shoe selfies on that free site called Instagram to keep his selfie pariah ball and chain busy. He refuses to fund her own website since he has to shell out a ton of dough as it is to pay people to follow that stupidgram site of hers where she posts a bunch of photos of the same cats everyday because she needs an excuse to stick her mug in the camera since she is in demand nowhere and by no one and needs cats so people will look at her and she can pretend she's a model because she lives in a dark fantasy that she's famous for anything but marrying a reject who was kicked off free radio and landed in the lap of the transgender inventor of Sirius satellite with his new worshipper Mr. Doughboy Oscar Meyer who loves old fart Howard as he creaks towards the door to December.

Howard is so happy to be off that hit show AGT that
he now has more time to hide his face in photos for Beth's Instagram site.
So what is this pose? Butthole surfer? Asshole selfie or just an ass staring at his hole hanging onto that thing on his head?

Beth O Stern suffered a shock this week dumping more cats onto other people, since Beth claims zero responsibility for all her photo prop cats when she tires of them, as Beth mandates you set up an Instagram site for the cats she dumps. This time, the dumpees failed to comply with The Fuhrer Beth O, they changed the cat's name so it will be hard to follow the cat on Instagram and link it back to the selfie monster Beth.

Howard Stern was stressed out over the job on AGT because it gave him no time for plastic surgery maintenance and repair. He can't afford to quit his satellite radio show and as it is, runs and hides into his studio because he's swollen all the time so just tapes a bunch of celebrity interviews and then doles them out and reads those endless commercials to bump up his salary. It's tough getting old and now he looks like all those celebrities he made fun of years and years ago for all their facelifts and wigs when he is just an old fool now and everyone is snickering at the doodles on his head.

I don't know, but it seems Sirius keeps charging your credit card for unauthorized subscription renewals and good luck getting your money back. Apparently they conduct business solely by phone and ignore all written correspondence so they have a recording of the call and no paper trails as you try and communicate with a foreign country with a telephone operator who does not speak English. Some business you got there Meyer, no wonder Howard fits right in.

Doughboy Meyer loves Howard Stern but he still gets his annual budget cuts for operating expenses and general wig overhead. To cut costs and increase Stern's take-home pay, no on-air staff are allowed. Stern mandates that they hide behind a barricade and can only speak from their script and get paid $1.12 a word on top of their regular salaries.

Gosh, the kids are coming out of the woodwork as we see Beth makes sure she follows orders from General Chicken Howard Stern, no Noel or any other kid on Beth's site, as we find a photo from four years ago when Stern was in a photog frenzy since he could no longer afford to hire a professional photographer to airbrush Beth's photos just for those free Hamptons magazines or posted somewhere on the Internet. It was too expensive with no pay back, no return on investment. Howard was just shelling out money. So it's the blurry iPhone photographer Howard taking crappy photos of The Fam that hides away in the Hamptons.