Snapped

You can barely tune into Howard Stern's stale satellite radio show without hearing about he and Beth O's selfie obsessions. Beth can't get that iPhone camera out of her fug face and posts multiple photos of the same cats everyday in a frenzy to post photos on Instagram and calling it charity work and Howard can't keep his marital aids out of his ass while he strokes himself to sleep every night as if anyone but Ralph the Stylist or Felix the Tailor want to hear about the 62 year old aged pervert pleasuring himself nonstop since he has apparent mental problems [just ask his doc] saying he cannot have sex with Beth O'Sterninsky two nights in a row - as if they are ever together for more than a few hours of selfie time where Howard poses for newspaper selfies or giant shoe selfies that Beth's posts on her Instagram site claiming that somehow proves they actually live together when Beth is a manic bouncing football head being tossed from Manhattan to the Hamptons and back again, with a few tosses to Florida and Pittsburgh when we don't think he and Beth have ever consummated their bizarre union except maybe one time 21 years ago.

Howard conducted the world's most boring interview on Monday with James Corden who Howard loves since he has a show on television and Howard doesn't, and he is a buddy of Les Moonves, yes, the guy Howard sued years ago and now makes back handed compliments about his wife Julie Chen who Howard has said in the past that Les set her up in her career on her show "The Talk", well duh, why doesn't Howard Stern, Mr. Self Proclaimed Multi-Millionaire set up Beth with even the minimum, meaning her own website. 

Nope, she uses that FREE site called Instagram and Beth has had a million failed, canceled and one-shot horrible TV show debacles she tried to get to stick to some cable channels only to have the networks shoot them off the schedule and incinerate them in the furnace of horrible shows of D List radio shock jocks that we all have to suffer with since no one can stand that selfie moron Beth Stern - go ahead Howard, show up Les Moonves and Julie Chen, get Beth her own daytime talk show or her own show on Animal Planet, go ahead Mr. Rich, we're waiting. Nobody can stand Beth O'Nobody and Howard has to pay to get her on any TV show since she constantly talks up Howard, brags about their tax write-off cat adoption rooms at their homes, and plugs her selfie career of posting photos on Instagram and calling it charity work. Some nerve.

June 2, 2016, Corden with Les Moonves
CBS Television Studios
Summer Soiree, Los Angeles.

Will Corden put in a good word for Howard with Les Moonves? Gosh we hope so. There is such a huge market for a facelifted senior with a marijuana plant growing out of his head that he calls "hair" with no talent to take over late night television. Oh right. If networks didn't want the horrific shock jock on TV when he was young, why would they want him on TV now? He is not famous for anything but that hysterical thing he married that is the laughing stock of the Hamptons - well, not really, I mean, she fits in with the wife swapping gay community but they don't trust Beth or Howard, you know, cameras are everywhere and suddenly you find yourself having to put Howard back on some TV show to shut him up. 

Ryan Seacrest is promoting his clothing line and we wonder how come nobody will give a clothing label to Howard. Gosh, aren't those awesome newspaper selfies enough to prove that Howard's not a goofy shock jock anymore and deserves his own designer label? But poor Howard's ship had sunk in 1995. That's 21 years ago. I wonder what major life event could've happened to Howard 21 years ago to send him into a spiral of desperation knowing he would have to work forever to keep a bunch of kids from selling their stories to the highest bidder. Well, at least Howard announced that he finally locked up his parents in some "apartment" [is that what they call it now?]. No tabloid gossip columnists can reach them for the real story behind the King of All Bullshit Howard Stern, who was the classic snubbed nerdo in school who lived in a fantasy world as he sat home watching "My Little Margie" with mommy who chanted around the house with incense sticks stuck in her hair.

Ryan was invited to the 2016 CFDA Fashion Awards at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York on Monday and Howard and Beth weren't there? Well, supermodel Heidi Klum was there of course looking gorgeous as usual.

As Nicole Kidman turns 49 this month, she looked pretty bad with that wig glued to her balding head from that facelift and that frozen dead look with no color to her skin at a screening of her movie "Genius" in New York on June 5, a film about the Depression-era novelist Thomas Wolfe. We know Bethie is fast approaching the big 5-0 and we will be there to watch what happens. I bet it will be awesome as we wonder what other cousins will suddenly emerge on her Instagram site that look like her laboratory test tube duplicates.

Well, DBM has had another tiresome weekend avoiding fame as we watch what happens with the shrinking audience of the Howard Stern stale satellite radio show with Radio Andy creeping up that satellite dial dishing on celebs and hot gossip as he gains popularity with pop culture while we think that Howard keeps investing in those Broadway shows hoping to keep a few secrets back stage and off of Page Six about a certain hedgehog who kept burrowing into the canals under the Broadway stage making a home for herself in a mask and hood devising ways to saw through a cable holding up a certain giant chandelier over the unsuspecting audience.

Gosh, fellas, can't a Dame leave a castle without being harassed? I am not a selfie monster like Beth, I have no social media staff or press secretaries to keep my name in the spotlight. I am a Shy Di. I hate fame, hate it, hate it. It's so tacky.