Snicker Doodles

Howard Stern has had major problems funding his loser wife's rise to fame what with multiple canceled cable TV shows, a failed website plugging her shit books and calendars and featuring two of her pets that are now as dead as her website, failed guest spots on morning talk shows where to this day she continues to badger producers for a weekly on-air spot to brag about herself as the paid useless spokesperson and chief fundraiser for the North Shore Animal League (NSAL). Since Howard Stern is obviously out of that green paper to fund Beth's selfie career that has sunk to the bottom of the sea, Beth has officially set up cat adoptions rooms at her three properties, Stalag Beth Manhattan, Stalag Beth Hamptons [est. 2013] and Stalag Beth at the Florida Fortress. Now the cash poor Stern couple have officially added another cat adoption room at Beth's mother's house in Pittsburgh. 

Beth goes nowhere unless a cat is in tow
claiming that her daily runabouts are
cat rescue missions.

The Stern-O Cat Adoption Gimmick's HQ is the Manhattan apartment(s) [Howard bought a bunch of the apts around his original penthouse] which is used for her corporate cash grab, meaning, she gets corporate sponsors for NSAL and tries to get public and private donations for her foundation Bianca's Furry Friends, and coerces people into coming for dinner only to get the big sales pitch about how Beth is a tiresome cat hoarder and tries to get donations to fund her cat prison camps before she dumps the reject photo prop cats onto a bunch of idiots who want a photo with the Hamptons social pariah. Beth never goes anywhere now unless a cat is stuffed somewhere so the limo rides around NY and Jersey, and the trips to Pittsburgh and Florida can be paid by her foundation and NSAL in her official fathead capacity as their chief fundraiser and useless spokesperson. The Manhattan apts used to be Howard Stern's man cave until he couldn't afford their maintenance and taxes anymore so now they are used by Beth for her selfie meetings with NSAL and Howard uses them to meet with his lawyers and agents since he is also getting Team Howard to badger producers into getting his flabby ass back on television even after he has been diagnosed with a major chronic illness called "having no talent".

Cash strapped Beth [she actually has cash strapped to her padded bra just in case the kitten gimmick implodes and she and her new cat Ponzi have to flee at midnight to avoid being sent to a federal prison] has set up another cat adoption room at her mother's house. Why these Ostroskys have to keep working is beyond me. I mean Beth's mom can barely see beyond her decreasing bank accounts. Beth has said her mom has had a job as a "devout Catholic" whatever the fuck that means, then a geek school teacher and "model" [yes, the cross-eyed goober family were all models], and now she is enlisted as a foster cat grandmother. I mean, the Sterns and O Families have no shame. They will grift off of public donations and not bat a crossed fake eyelash. But, hey, it's none of my business.

Howard has set up Beth pretty good to be out of his life and in the lives of a bunch of strangers who want their picture taken with the Hamptons social pariah since they are complete losers who can't be bothered with picking up a few homeless animals waiting in line at the gas chamber at local municipal animals shelters but instead want a cat delivered by the football headed Beth with a hat she tries to stuff on her head to hide its size.

Howard Stern's little life went downhill after the platform where the judges' table sat on "America's Got Talent" (AGT) was tilted and he slid off with super Simon Cowell announcing that the returning judges, Mel B, Heidi and Howie along with Simon would be called the "Fantastic Four" and are on board for a stellar Season 11 of AGT. Howard also had a major meltdown on his rarely live satellite radio show about how upset he was that Simon had a girlfriend who gave birth to his son along with taking over his judging spot on AGT. Poor old Howard, he has no adorable son yet he does have a monkey on his back.

Howard Stern's invisible yet heard cackling satellite radio sidekick Robin Quivers is all upset over the death of Muhammed Ali since she sometimes claims she is a black woman and thinks that having a poster of him in her house means she is a civil rights activist while claiming to have survived staged cancer when all she survived was a major facelift with that wig pushed back too far on her balding head.

Soy Sauce & Noodle Doodles
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#noelclare  #bethostrosky  #howardhamstern
#stalagbeth