Beth's Got Talent

Oh, yes she does. It was discovered by America's Reject Judge Howard Stern. What is it? Singing? Dancing? Modeling (ha), molecular biology, languages, or brain surgery? Nope. It's holding an iPhone in front of her face and taking her own picture when she's asleep. Yep, there are a bunch of Beth's sleeping selfies on her Instagram site that prove that Beth's Got Talent. 

Beth even stages an instant photo shoot the second she stops meditating and wakes up! She passes out with her iPhone so she is camera ready the instant the spirits vacate her saggy body and she is back on earth ready to face that selfie camera as she is living the life of a lone pariah whose husband won't even buy her a TV show like that Les Moonves did for his wife Julie Chen. Well, Howard can't afford it especially since he bought that white elephant in Florida thinking they would be a big hit instead of just being shown the exit door. They were both ignored by the Florida society matrons except for that mafia widow of the founder of The National Enquirer so that's nothing to brag about and it's not getting Beth on any covers of the Florida magazines.

What happened to the Florida power couple? Beth got on one cover of a loser free newspaper insert and that was it as we wonder why Howard didn't have the juice to power up his menopausal selfie monster and buy her a few of the big time magazine covers in Florida.

Speaking of Heidi Klum, she and the rest of the Fantastic Four, along with Nick Cannon, were at the Four Seasons Hotel Westlake Village in CA at the NBC Universal Summer Press Day on April 1 to promote Season 11 of America's Got Talent. No Howard and Beth? Gosh, it seems everyone is so happy to be free of those selfie monsters absorbed with their own delusions that they're celebrities.

Love Match

No Howard Stern sighting at the special John Varvatos shopping event in Bal Harbour, Florida on March 31 to benefit the Institute of Contemporary Art in Florida where the mannequins show off how his clothes are supposed to look on men under the age of old and under the weight of fat. Oh, but Howard's got to be in fashion for some unknown reason and insists on wearing Varvatos clothes. I guess it's to keep Felix the Tailor and Ralph the Stylist on the payroll without raising suspicions with Beth the Wife.

Howard missed out on meeting these cute guys at the Varvatos
shopping event in Florida on March 31.

The author of numerous books has recently written one about his beloved dog Teddy. Yes, Michael Savage takes his dog everywhere with him. He has a few homes in the San Francisco Bay Area and Teddy is always with him even during his radio broadcasts and he has written a book about it. You see, Beth could not write a book like this. She barely knew that bulldog Bianca. It was just a means to move in with Howard and have an excuse to parade in and out of the building in Manhattan since the dog was originally purchased for his daughter Ashley, who he had shared custody with his first keeper. Ashley was subjected to the mandatory shrimp and pasta dinners from Nobu with dad on Wednesdays. She did have her own room in the Manhattan apts she shared with dad and the unknown famous invisible model Beth, until she got a bit older and got tired of her father's bullshit where it has been alleged she hated Beth O, however, she now competes with stepmom in the selfie department. But that storyline changed and Beth needed an animal gimmick since the woman was an unmarketable moron and in need of publicity so suddenly Bianca was always Beth and Howard's dog together as their child [I know, stupid and gross but Beth can't have children or won't admit she can't without a third party contributor]. Beth ignored the dog until it finally ballooned into a massive thing whose heart exploded and she immediately stuffed it in an urn and posed with it [see photo along the sidebar of this blog, yes, it's real, it was printed in Whirl magazine]. Beth only used that bulldog as a photo prop and rarely saw the dog until it died and it's now in ashes in an urn in the bedroom of her Hamptons home.

Savage & Teddy dining out

Beth would only dive downstairs with the dog when in NY and the paparazzi were on the street trying to photograph real stars and Beth walked by a million times with her dog trying to get her photo into a tabloid. Her first book was just about dog first aid that she downloaded from the Internet and her subsequent cat books are for kids that are nonsense gibberish with made up bizarro psycho stories that teach kids that Beth adopted some cats and she called herself a nice lady. The books featured an artist rendering of Beth looking like an 18 year old Barbie, so you see how nuts her books are, and she has zero personal stories about living with pets since Beth doesn't live with them. They are housed in a room separate from the main house that she visits for selfies and yells at the help when poop is still in the litter box that she scoops up and counts it as doing "charity work". 

The real Beth is a piece
of work when cameras
aren't rolling along with those
fat legs in an A-Line ice skater
outfit.

Beth dumped the dog gimmick since she doesn't need that prop anymore. Howard's team of agents can score the D List events for Beth sans having her drag a dog around and then you have to house it somewhere and Beth wants a bunch of different animal props, not just one static one, so the dog gimmick was tabled. These are a few photos of Beth at the Long Island Bulldog Rescue benefit in December 2015 dressed like a demented ice skater.

I hope all Beth Fans have a nice weekend and don't have to stare at cat butts wondering what happened to all those promises written in your pre-nup like a certain person does and has to drown their dreams in a sitz bath with pill spotters keeping all sharp objects away from the edge of reality.