April Fools

Beth O'Sternsky is the official poster boy for April Fool's Day but really, being a fool is nothing to be embarrassed about or acting foolish is nothing to be ashamed of and we all do it once in awhile. Beth is really a dope with a peanut brain rattling around inside a football head combined with being a phony meanie who speeds in her SUV crushing stray cats in her path and keeps on going - oh, it's an April Fool's Day joke much like Beth's entire life and Howard's made up stories about how he married a real model. Oh brother, Mr. Howard Nixon cannot decipher fact from fiction and lives inside a weaved bubble pretending he has ratings on a satellite dish spouting scripted drivel to a paying audience where Howard gets paid no matter if you listen to his show or not. That's why the tired radio DJ is on a pay service that needs content to fill that dead air space while competing with the world wide web and it's a losing battle.

We know that whenever Howard announces on his stale satellite radio show that his super famous wife is trotting off to an unnamed charity event, it means she will be propped up at a nightclub trying to remain vertical for two hours and avoid the drunk tank with her town car driver waiting outside to take the inebriated charity worker back home, wherever that is, since she divides her time between the now converted Manhattan apts that are the corporate HQ for Beth's foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends (BFF) working in conjunction with the charity that pays her a salary, the North Shore Animal League (NSAL) and shuttling a few cats back and forth from Stalag Beth in the Hamptons, the prison camp for Beth's kitty cat photo props before she stages a big dumping session on a bunch of foster homes within driving distance of her limo rides paid by public donations to NSAL and BFF.

Speaking of Miss Charity Worker, she is so proud to be carrying around those purses she rescues from department stores and Howard loves to name each one after food products since he is a demented space cadet smokin' that pot of something we can't mention here, but he's got the food craving munchies. I think he named this rescue purse "Mocha Muffin":

Miss Animal Advocate also overfeeds her animals until they drop dead and makes fun of them along the way to their urns:

Beth was a bit early for April Fool's Day:

Hold your horses, Beth said she modeled in Germany and we finally found proof!!