Set the balloon down, Beth...

...hold the phone, step off, stop where you are, get off the tracks. Beth insists on continuing with her bogus animal charity gimmick and no one is stopping this bullshit train to nowhere while her personal website is a mothballed ghost town of nothing. Why? Howard and Beth Stern are immensely embarrassed and won't admit they have no work product, nothing to plug, and have no fans. 

Her website BethO.com? Oh, she is announcing the latest addition to her family, a cat named Apple. Hey, Beth, Apple is DEAD. The cancer cat was pronounced dead last year, with not even a foundation set up in its name, nope, and no one to update Beth's personal website since she has no fans and guess what, the selfie monster knows it and Howard refuses to fund her website filled with nothing.

Howard's job now consists of planting his mouth on every D List celeb's ass that wanders into the studio making the rounds at the SiriusXM building in NY. Why? It's called the modern era. No longer are there just a few talk radio shows on AM or the FM dial of free radio where everyone was stuck with those limited channels to listen to in the morning. Since the invention of cable TV, the Internet, you name it, there are tons and tons of options and celebrities can now pick and choose where they want to appear. No one cares about pay radio, it's an option for celebrities making the rounds and they can easily skip over the Howard Stern channel, it means nothing to their career, because there are tons of other stations they can appear on to plug their projects.

Let's get real here, if Howard didn't "change" and "evolve" into a celebrity ass kisser, he would be sitting on a vacant, barren satellite dish staring at Robin Quivers' latest  carrot top shredded wheat dyed wig glued to her head pretending she's vegan and she finally had to admit to eating every animal in sight and it got so bad, her neighbors were reporting to authorities that their dogs were missing from the neighborhood and from backyards with Robin firing up the barbecue pit roasting her latest captured meals. 

Aside from that, Beth would get even less attention than she does now if Howard didn't change his on-air scripted persona. She is barely hanging onto her dismal career of bothering daytime TV and ferreting out obscure cable shows to appear on while Howard continues to write personal notes, hand out corporate gifts, etc., to all the daytime TV shows so they will "take Beth". Howard can no longer mouth off and insult or poke fun at celebrities or make fun of anyone at this point, since it would result in getting his big nobody wife shown the door. Any celebrity dissin' is bought and paid for out of Stern's pocket because if he can't get positive press and publicity, he pays for negative publicity as a shocking senior with fake teeth and hair.

Beth has permanently latched onto that mafia widow Lois Pope and will forever be horning in on her events as the big Palm Beach hagatha has her own selfie foundation in conjunction with sponsoring that bogus human and animal charity called the American Humane Association where Princess Buttinsky attended another one of their luncheons on March 1, held at that Trump corporate club Mar-a-Lago with Stern saying nothing about it on his radio show since it's too hard to get their stories straight. So he just pretends to live with the nut from time to time and visits crazy town in the Hamptons normally only Thursday night to Saturday night.

Howard's got his plate full trying to prove he married a celebrity when he is constantly ferreting out D List bogus charity events so the rich and not famous can have a few tax loopholes in their dull lives. Reportedly, the stale shock jock only takes home about 40 million per year on that satellite dish, a good living for an old jerk who was called an idiot in print in the New York Daily News. Now, Howard is the one everyone goofs on, laughs at him not with him anymore, as Robin is sitting in the cat bird seat as she watches Big Bird squirm since he is stuck with Robin, she ain't goin' nowhere, even with surviving staged cancer when Howard thought she would retire from Sirius and he would have more money in his pocket. Everyone is laughing at the farce and the faked Stern show now, with Beth the biggest idiot of them all. Gosh, didn't Beth ever think anyone would ask to see those awesome European modeling photos she is so proud of? Those front pages of catalogs? The magazine layouts? Well, Beth is a dope and is allegedly swallowing pills to ensure she stays a dope for many years to come as old man Stern refuses to fund any Bethettes while he sits around making money by practicing just how and where the perfect spot is to place those lips on celebs asses. Howard is a D List nobody at this point, doing the vulgar humor to pretend he is still relevant to disturbed 13 year old boys on lockdown in a group home for roving morons who think it's still 1985.

Prep before the big show, Jay & Emily at the
St. George Theatre in NY 3-11-16.

Uh-oh, where was Howard Stern? The failed judge of "America's Got Talent" (AGT) who was politely not asked back, as in, no one returned his phone calls and AGT snuck out of NY at midnight and hit the rails until it was safely back behind the borders of a community property state.

It was an evening with Jay Leno at the St. George Theatre on Friday night appearing with the 2015 AGT runner-up, the fug tranny-looking 44 year old singer [who claims to be 34]. Is Howard busily taping a few interviews for his stale satellite radio show with Jay and Emily? Is Howard still insanely jealous that Leno made it big in the entertainment industry leaving Stern behind with his boring shock jock shtick and now having to do a politically correct racist and sexist radio show in between kissing aged celebs butts with a cackling hyena still on the payroll with an in-studio show writer who is literally growing a beard during the show because it's so long and tedious and a sound man who forgets to do sound drops while pretending he loves his wife he won in a game show and a test tube surrogate IVF rarely vertical daughter who can't put two words together? What did I just say.

Jay on stage 3-11-16 at the St. George Theatre in NY. 
So, no one asked Judge Stern to perform?

Beth poses with no one
if she can help it, as her charity
is her own and no one can stand her
anyway.

We noticed the selfie monster was alone at the top of the Empire State Building [left] posing for a million selfies this week while guess what, Seth Meyers of the late late late night talk show, decided to support a real charity and posed in a what? A group photo, something that is distasteful to Beth. She hates sharing that flashbulb with anyone but a few stale captured cats since they are her livelihood now and her sole reason and gimmick to get anyone in NY to pay attention to her. She would fade away into nothing without that cat charity gimmick and that bizarre foundation where she takes your money and hands off only a portion to the North Shore Animal League, skimming off the top to pay for her expenses of being a rarely vertical irritating creep rolling around on the floor and barking orders at the help to run her sitz bath.

Seth Meyers in the center posing with members of the Cycle For Survival charity group that raises money to find cures for rare cancers, at the Empire State Building on March 11.

Yes, Miss D Lister Nobody still is hanging onto the gig of dumping cats onto people within a limited radius of her Hamptons prison camp for cats since the limo ride is bought and paid for by her charity, the North Shore Animal League as she desperately waits for its current president, Elmer Fudd, to drop dead so her takeover will be complete as the Queen of the North Shore of Long Island...big deal. Well, it is to a profound ignored Hamptons pariah.

Beth's Instagram 3-12-16

Add to that is Stern supports causes with his mouth and not his wallet, and only if it involves dumping that loser wife of his onto a red carpet to satisfy her insane need for a flashbulb in that fug face 24/7, even resorting to setting up her own show, The Real Housewife of Instagram, because she's nuts.