Red Carpet, I hear you calling...

The Horninskys race to the
opening of the Steve Martin musical
"Bright Star" on 3-24-16.

Beth O'Stern could hardly dump that stupid cat rescue gimmick in Florida fast enough since her hubby Howard scored some corporate freebie tix to the Broadway opening of Steve Martin's stale musical called "Bright Star" that has been knocking around with workshops and previews since about 2013. A red carpet trumps any selfies with cats and any alleged rescue mission of any dumb cat...dump it in Florida and hop that plane back to the Big Apple for Beth the Wonder Horse of the Stern stable of losers and nonearners that should be entered in a claiming race but who would claim Beth but a glue factory. 

Yes, the aged pariahs are back and refreshed from their Florida Cosmetic Surgery Center visit and seem to have dumped all cats so their little bogus rescue mission [consisting of laser peels and a botox & filler frenzy in their basement medical room with a cat locked in a closet] so they are now camera ready to hog a red carpet. Yes, Howard and Beth were back in NY stalking Steve Martin and crashing a D-List red carpet event with zero notables to kiss Martin's ass and hope he does the Stern show in exchange for tons of plugola and praise for this borefest musical consisting of some retro drivel that any aged senior with groupons would go to see, especially if they are having problems getting to sleep at night.

Mr. Alleged Mormon Martin waves to fans and hangers-on during the opening
night of his musical on Broadway on 3-24-16. Steve has had a
bunch of failed relationships due to reports of him being boring and dull
in bed and could barely produce a giggle let alone
a baby until hooking up with a professional partner.

Beth hits the red carpet all bloated and butt faced looking stiffer than a dead Joan Rivers:

11-8-15 Mr. Paunch showed up on a red
carpet for George's musical and we wonder
where his John was, but she pretended to
be out of town since George is
a nobody and can't make Beth
famous.

We know George Takei is not a big or bright star so Howard just walked the red carpet and skated out to be with his family [sans Beth] to plot and plan Emily's big coming out as a straight lesbian orthodox bad poetry writer who photographs swamps and can't keep a guy because she said she was put off dating men by her father, as she recounted her story in an article for the New York Post last year. 

George's play was called "Allegiance" but hey, this is Steven Martin we are talking about, and Howard worships the ground he walks on and just begs for a chance to be in his presence and get a chance to tell Steve Martin how famous Howard is and about his blissful life with a barren plus sized model. Well, the Horninskys got their chance on Thursday night to suck up to Steve and we know Howard loves Broadway in spite of his on-air rants that it's boring or whatever, as Stern loves the Broadway crowd and Beth can visit her alleged gay boyfriend Michael Cerveris. Howard claimed Beth dated the star of the musical Tommy. Only one photo exists of Beth with Cerveris and that was for a party for his musical "Titanic" not Tommy; little glitch there in Howard and Beth's big timeline of fairy tales.

Big news that Zombie fans have been waiting for, the release of his film "31" will finally happen on September 16. DBM got a sneak peek and it's more frightening than anything you will ever see on The Real Housewife of Instagram show featuring Beth O, the human plastic surgery specimen with horse hair glued to her balding head as she preps for a sitz bath of tepid water while she badgers people for money via her iPhone to fund her existence of selfies of her bizarre body parts and one-eyed photographs while claiming it's all for charity. What a gizmo pariah she is along with that aged cheese whiz humorless falsetto nerdo she married who she thought would make her famous instead of the laughing stock of several message boards and back office staff who count their cash while shutting their traps and keeping those fingers busy on those keys staying PC on their PCs hoping Stern never quits the treadmill of cash desperate to "show up" Don Imus, Rush and Letterman. What a loser, but then, without the Botoxsky Twins, there would be no DBM or the BFP so there you have it, or don't, who cares, it's up to you, it's all in your hands.

At least Howard has some content when he finally stumbles back into his stale satellite radio studio since his good buddy Garry Shandling died at 66 years of age because of a heart attack from that speed ball...oops, natural causes, and Howard can bore his 112 listeners about how much he loved that fugly unfunny creep who alleged that he was being wiretapped by the movie mogul Brad Grey, et al, yeah, right [allegedly a PI was hired to wiretap a bunch of celebs and Garry was one of the alleged victims]. There are a bunch of articles about this on the Web but what is missing is the Howard Stern connection. Howard is friends with Kevin Nealon, Brad Grey, Courtney Love and Chris Rock, all involved in several wiretapping incidents before charges were brought against the wiretapper. So, how come no one has reported on anything about Howard or Beth's shady past? You know, how Howard's daddy happened to purchase a building in Manhattan and retire at 50 yrs old? How Beth O's Daddy O was a Felon O? No tabloids or any news outlet has done any story about any of this aside from Howard's drag queen past with the wigs and makeup and now claiming that frizz glued to his head is actually not a weave or dyed and we all have to swallow the fairy stories about how he met Beth. Nope, no reporting on any of this as Howard stays off the phone and communicates via Gary Page Two in Red Yellow and Blue and gets coded messages from the afterlife when he wants to contact celebs who have just crossed the rainbow bridge. We can't wait to hear how Howard had just emailed his good buddy Garry only to find out he had a date with the angels.

We know Howard won't kick the bucket until he reaches that numerology magical number of 112 and Beth will be 96. Oh, we can't wait for that selfie of the wrinkled hagatha and her atrophied body holding up a kitty cat for the camera and crying that she will be forming a Howard Stern Foundation to fund her campaign to stop Howard's daughters from kicking her can out of their properties and back to Pittsburgh with a few aged relatives who are in shock the Stern money train has stopped, right Glenn from Canada? The O Family relative who is a Bieber fan? Just asking. Hope the O Family can sleep at night with the thought of their idiot pigeon who Beth caught in her choppers will eventually leave this earth and go off on a permanent satellite mission into outer space.

Have fun this weekend Beth Fans as we await the return of the King of All Bullshit, Tall Tales, and Nerd Wisdom who will lay an egg on Easter Sunday that will stink up the coming weeks of his stale satellite radio show.

#brad #grey #shandling #wiretapping #martin #bright #star #brightstar