A Piece of the Action

Will Howard Stern ever get a piece of the action? We know he is obsessed with the fashion world and the celebrity world and no morning zoo radio talk show host has a personal stylist like Howard with his long time companion with the never ending play dates, Ralph Cirella. I mean, the major joke here is that Howard is on the radio, he needs no stylist. He's been hiding behind a microphone in a dark studio for 25 years but he's got to have a stylist on the payroll, not to mention his newly acquired "tailor" [gag] Felix. It's just hilarious, the guy is on the RADIO, anything from the Macy's Woman department would suffice.

Howard used to paw at the women celebs and models he interviewed ages ago on his E Channel cable show because he is obsessed with being a woman, as no real man acts this way around women, he acts like a 13 year old picking his date for his bar mitzvah and he wants to compare outfits. Howard was always a tiresome bore who wanted to hug the female celebs in the guise of, oh, he's a sex starved married man...it bordered on harassment. It was gross the way he invaded their personal space and forced them to kiss and hug him and he could feel up the fabric and even wanted to know what perfume they were wearing so he could duplicate it later in bed with himself [hey, the guy's got a healthy self love obsession going on]. Well, the closeted tortured man is conflicted inside his weeble brain, sorry, but it's true, a lot of closeted men only see themselves in their lives and are afraid to be Caitlyn. But, Beth just ignores it since it was the drag queen cross dresser or the queens on Broadway and they had no money so you see how all this played out.

Where was Howard at the superstar Bono and his wife's fashion show for their latest cash grab gimmick called "Edun" which is a brand they created and was featured at New York's Fashion Week Fall 2016 which should wrap on the 18th. Along with Bono was Howard's good buddy Liam Neeson ogling the models pretending he is half-way on the straight and narrow instead of split into two people as in bi-bi- ummmm, coastal as we know Howard is dying to be on the runway and where the real action is instead of dreading those visits to the Hamptons with Miss Nobody having an orgasmic reaction to that flash of her iPhone 24/7. I mean, Howard cannot be single since he has to come up with more than just big talk about his wild and crazy nights with all the women he dated yet not a shred of evidence exists of Howard dating anyone but Beth O as they were seen parading in and out of Nobu and other NY eateries where the paps hang out. Let's have some compassion for the big talker who said forever he was a tortured man since he was stuck with wife #1 and a bunch of celebrities were hot to get him in the sack...we saw that never happened....it was the sad sack Beth and no one else in his sad, lonely life.

Flat Davids were being stolen in New England
where the Cumberland Farms
convenience store coffee ads appeared.

Okay, I promised myself I would not cry again over Howard's pathetic life cycle to nowhere. Pour me another drink, David. Oh, you didn't know Howard copies David? First with America's Got Talent, then getting the snubola and not getting asked back for their fifth season and now trying to sell coffee. Howard started pushing coffee on his stale satellite radio show in 2015 and has been trying to get a contract with Starbucks but we know his stock is doing just fine, don't worry Howard, you don't have to keep plugging it. I don't think Starbucks wants flat Howards in all their coffee shops throughout the country.

NY Fashion Week, 2-13-16,
Baja East, front row.

Beth was a no-show at Fashion Week on Saturday when her good buddies Katie Lee and Fern Mallis were there. We know Fern loves Beth as in loves Beth, and they hosted a brief segment on Sirius for the Super Saturday shopping event in the Hamptons in 2014. Funny how Beth seems to be having vertical problems again as we wait to see if the hubby can come through with some freebie corporate tickets for Beth for Fashion Week.

Didn't Fern say she wished she could be in the middle of a Katie & Beth sandwich? Oh, yeah, I think she did.

We got another headless selfie of what is supposed to be Howard Stern on Valentine's Day at crazy town, but who knows when all these photos were taken of the tired shock jock since he wears the same outfits and no one can tell how many are taken all at once and doled out to Beth's pigeon followers hanging on a wire waiting for their mail notifying them they have just won ten million dollars from a deceased Ed McMahon. Beth had nothing to publish on Valentine's Day, no new love set photo and had to reach back to 2012 to a stale red carpet event to prove to her cat club followers on Instagram that she is a famous celebrity alongside her hubby Howard.

Where was Simon Cowell on Valentine's Day? Well, he had a party for his son on Saturday in London and spent Sunday with his family [his son's birthday is actually Feb 14th]. Funny how Miss Funny Farm never wanted to have children but it's normally up to the guy paying the bills to dictate what goes and what doesn't in certain types of arranged marriages where the guy already has a family of his own filled with non-earners and he can't afford a second family of non-earners. Howard has to keep funding the Trust Fund brats or they might spill more tea to the tabs and it won't be just about how daddy left mommy to marry a...cough...model. They might tell what kind of model she really was.

Where was supermodel and jetsetter Heidi Klum on Valentine's Day? Oh, only in St. Moritz, how dull, right Howard? You got that wife sequestered to the Hamptons while you trot around a village with a bunch of idiots before ducking out to the South to that cosmetic plastic surgery center, right? Wrong? Who knows, but you had better stuff a cat or two into that luggage or you can't send that bill to NSAL for that little jaunt back and forth to the Hamptons.