Heidi Klum shows us mortals what real models look like and her fame is not dependent upon some pseudo husband to support her and push her face into the public eye. Nope, Heidi was and is a genuine top model and entrepreneur with moguls throwing themselves at her feet. She does not need a husband like Howard Stern who masturbates himself to sleep every night while playing house in a village with his tinker, tailor, stylist, soldier boy and Nobu delivery pigeons flying in and out, who needs a female figure [we think Beth is female; not sure if they are called that on her home planet] so he can be accepted by Middle America. Poor Beth! This blogger is crying right now in her vodka and tonic, I swear, I have a heart too you know. 
Beth is a good egg really, I mean, has she ever thought about hatching that thing she calls a head to reveal the scrambled eggs inside? Poor Beth has to stare at the huge, successful career of the 42 year old supermodel Heidi with that gigantor green sparkly thing on her finger. Heidi is still knocking them dead in Australia promoting her new men's underwear label called Heidi Klum Man. Gosh, Howard needs to get into men's underwear and have Felix the Tailor take some measurements while Howard shoots the whole ad campaign. His frizzy permed weave just might explode off his pyramid head!
I feel sorry for Beth stuck at Stalag Beth throwing kittens around trying to divert her attention away from the fact she has failed at becoming famous. She is good at collecting public donations to build an invisible cat adoption center at her charity that pays her a salary, the North Shore Animal League, while she hangs onto a phantom history that she was a genuine top model in the U.S., Europe, Euthanasia, South Africa, Greece, Rome, and the former Yugoslavia. Beth is alone and barren at Stalag Beth in the Hamptons barking orders at the help while smacking into a feral cat that was too old and stiff to jump out of the way of her speeding SUV. Poor Beth!
You know, DBM is not just a diva harpooning a poor innocent shark and her husband [we think they're married as Emily The High Priestess of the Stern Clan confirmed this in an article on November 8, 2015 of the NY Post; spirit beings don't lie, right?]. I feel sorry for Beth because I believe she believes that she really was an internationally famous model and not just a D List groupie who modeled fat pants and plus sized cheap lingerie who was escorted from Pittsburgh to NY to score a Big Apple to make her famous. Okay, now I'm really starting to cry in my wine and soda.
We need to take a break here as DBM is overwhelmed with emotion over the plight of Beth's career as she tries to regain her composure to continue with this blog entry.
Whew...what was I saying? Oh, back to blogging.
Did you think we were done with Rob Zombie news? Nope. He's got a new CD coming out in April and his film "31" expected in June and released again at Halloween, which is when the movie takes place.
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