Let's Get Sirius

Hello? Your crown of thorns has fallen off.
Howard Stern began broadcasting on Sirius
satellite radio in 2006 with the merged
company of Sirius/XM facing bankruptcy in
2009 and had to be bailed out by
Liberty Media with no thanks to Howard Stern.

Howard Stern re-signing with the Sirius was like planting a hair system on a corpse. Stern provides subscribers with updates of his shilling for the D List entertainment industry providing his big opinions about movies no one will see with Howard claiming to be so busy yet he has time to watch endless TV shows and movies while stretched out on his bed in the village sans the ball and chain, which is the life he would lose if he lost his satellite job.

Oh, Howard's still relevant, being a shock jock at 62 years old talking about having sex with his menopausal wife is kind of sickening while he pretends to still be a little boy having quick sex with something female while mom was out shopping for incense and bells and preparing disgusting shrimp and pasta meals frozen from 8 weeks ago still in the fridge. You know, Howard the aged DJ who has his current wife sequestered in the Hamptons and he lives alone in New York [well, alone as in surrounded by photog bulb boys and coffee gophers wearing short shorts under those full length leather coats designed by his personal stylist and long time companion, Ralph Cirella]. 

Miss Man Hat with the football head, Beth,
had all of her TV shows canceled and
screamed at Howard to make her famous.
Howard latched onto the animal charity
gimmick to keep the selfie pariah's
face in the press and costing almost
zero dollars to the Sterns since the public
gives Beth money in her pseudo
attempt at rescuing animals that are
used as her selfie photo props
until they are dumped onto the paying
public.

Satellite radio audiences also have to suffer through the same ol' scripted drivel of Howard bragging he married a model when there is no evidence she ever modeled anything but fat clothes in newspaper ads and in online catalogs. Beth continues to lie in her online bios by inflating her murky past by saying she was a real actress and a real internationally famous model, when the real story is she had about 3 minutes total screen time in a few obscure films, one actually being a 15-minute film called "Another Night" [when she had a 10 second part] while having zero proof she modeled anywhere except in New Jersey. But Beth thinks that New Jersey is a part of Europe, so you see the type of brain this genius has, it's a peanut housed inside a football helmet shell.

Howard Stern's hair system would explode if he would sit down and admit to himself and everyone around him that he got stuck with an unknown wonky eyed woman obnoxiously named Beth O who was a vague groupie hanging around New York with Howard feeding items to the press claiming to be celebrating her 30th birthday at a local NY eatery three years in a row.

Howard is still jealous of Oprah and tracks her every move remembering that the XM satellite radio company had the Oprah Winfrey Channel first and turned down Howard Stern when he was begging for work since his syndication deals were being canceled nationwide with Stern becoming responsible for the content of his radio show and facing fines for his edgy material, as in, 7th grade gross out material that moms complained about. Oprah finally ditched the satellite since she could see her programs were floating on a dead star and moved onto much much much bigger and better things. I don't need to tell you, the woman is all over the Internet with being a movie producer, winning one Oscar and nominated twice for a competitive Oscar, touring with her self help guru conventions, she has her own cable network, I mean, the list is endless with this woman.

Article from 2008...Sirius needs to change its tune:

Howard is once again trying to get paid twice by having his boring radio interviews broadcast on the Internet or television, whatever, with Howard TV failing to find a buyer for many years now, but oh, the treadmill king cannot get off the wheel, he will push that video streaming or whatever to get his face back in the public eye interviewing some aged celeb who is desperate for free publicity. Oh right, I need a visual of old fart Rod Stewart wobbling into the Stern studio and plopping down on that couch that was a leftover prop from some porno movie studio and hear how he is releasing some new old man music that is of no interest to anyone still living above ground. Oh, don't forget that facelifted fossil Steven Tyler was interviewed by Howard on Monday for yet another boring interview. Steven has been making the rounds plugging his selfie foundation to protect girls from Steven Tyler. I wonder if he mentioned his former girlfriend Bebe Buell, the ultra famous groupie that was a Playboy magazine Playmate of the month about 40 years ago, who had to run and flee to another sugar daddy to save the life of the now famous Liv Tyler and not be subjected to the alleged drug induced maniac jetting her off to a clinic to get rid of "Baby Janie" who might grow up and get a gun.

Howard continues to hide from photogs for fear we could track the updates of his giant overgrown facelift and fillers and he is always filmed in the dark for any videotape of the old crone hiding in a studio filled with awesome SFX lighting and CGI technology.

Mr. Radio still has his obsession with movies and obtaining screeners of any current year Oscar nominated films since the old man's ship had sunk before reaching a harbor when his Private Parts were a laughing stock in the movie industry and the old guy was sent back to a radio dial with Hollywood execs wondering how they got rid of him, aside from the fact that most movies are made in California, a community property state. Howard has to provide his big movie reviews this time of year and is still pressing his nose job against the glass of Hollywood begging for that one coveted job hosting the Academy Awards in Hollywood, something that has eluded the unfunny radio DJ yet he will keep badgering everyone he knows and doesn't know with those irritating phone and email messages that the office assistants have to constantly block...for example:

- Ring ring ring...who is it? One moment please.
- Who's on the line?
- It's that same DJ from NY who wants on television again, he says he married a model and he doesn't wear a wig and would be a super celebrity ass kisser if he could host the Oscars.
- Just hang up, pretend it's the snow that brought down the phone lines.
- But we don't have snow in LA.
- Who cares, that stupid DJ wouldn't know that, besides, he's scared to leave his CGI man cave. Just hang up!!!