Howard's End is Nigh

On Tuesday's stale satellite radio show Howard Stern was of the opinion that Donald Trump wanted to speak to him by telephone but old man Stern said he fell asleep waiting for that call. Such is the life of a failure at everything, yes, keep waiting for that call, Howard, much like those calls from Hollywood to make you a big star when all the meetings Howard is getting is with the tax man figuring out how much money he earned in California goes to him and how much goes to that big mouthed pariah he married who yells during her online interviews Howard pays for to publicize the dolt as being something more than a dolt but a dolt who writes shit children's books in between passing out on the couch before her medical sitz bath that makes everyone sick when she posts photos of herself in that tepid pool of dirty water on her Instagram site.

Princess Useless Animal League Spokesperson Beth, continues to dump cats onto morons who think a cat delivered by limo by the fathead pariah is better than getting a cat from a local municipal animal shelter and saving its life. Nope, we gotta provide content for Beth's useless Instagram site. Keep your own cats, Beth, you have plenty of room in that empty Hamptons home called Stalag Beth. Oh right, the North Shore Animal League (NSAL) will only pay for one room in that hellhole to stuff some cats into, not the entire house.

Howard's personal message board shut down
due to lack of content and that he has no fans.

Oh, don't forget, Mr. 112 Productions does need a work product so Howard will continue to badger producers for a show on television, but hey, they want YOU, Howard, to fund YOUR shitty show ideas, so good luck with your meetings and I hope you can afford to keep publicizing yourself in the press ad nauseam hiding behind ghost writers while finding a pigeon to buy Howard TV so your aged fans can experience visual boredom to go along with the audio boredom as you make every D List celebrity wonder what the point of life is other than to avoid the Stern show in the future. Yes, we know that Howard tried the movie thing and it was a one shot dismal disappointment that went straight to video within about three months of its release of March 1997, when all those films released early in the year are never considered to be any competition with the later films, the ones that will be considered for the Oscar nominations. Howard Stern's "Private Parts" was a D List High School effort where Howard won an award from a defunct, bankrupt video company called Blockbuster, that went out of business rendering Howard's little award as meaningless junk that can be used as a doorstop.

Beth's fan site is going strong
since she has fans!

Oh, right, then Howard keeps plugging his home in Florida, that mausoleum that failed to get a corporate sponsor and Howard and Beth hide in one kitten room in the house because they need to get their jaunts paid by Beth's charity, NSAL, where she is employed as their chief fundraiser and useless spokesperson. Howard can move to Florida, but how could he keep Beth at Stalag Beth in the Hamptons? Would that prison camp be shut down? Howard doesn't live with that selfie pariah, he lives in his new village hideout, I mean, hideaway while Beth lives in the Hamptons. Moving to Florida would mean he would be stuck with that rarely vertical selfie monster 24/7, hey, that ain't happen' anytime soon. Plus, the satellite radio show is almost all pre-recorded anyway, so why change things at this point aside from the fact Howard would get zero celebrity guests since he just gets whoever is wandering around the Sirius studios any particular week and Howard snags them for an interview.

Howard still has not acknowledged the death of two cats in Beth's care? Wonky the feral cat and Apple the cat? Howard only cried publicly over the death of his obese bulldog Bianca, since he had his lawyers set up a foundation in her honor and figure out a way to employ Beth as the chief fundraiser and administrator of the fund working with NSAL on an invisible cat adoption center called Bianca's Furry Friends, that never breaks ground. So, forget it, if you can't make money for the Sterns you ain't getting a eulogy.

Howard Stern is terrified to permanently move to Florida. Yes, this is your life, Howard, if you moved to Florida!! Have fun, DUCKY, with the selfie pariah 24/7! No more getting that limo ride back to NY at 1 AM on a Sunday. No more "busy with meetings" during the work week and you can't make it to the Hamptons until late Friday night and skating out early Sunday. Nope, you would be with Bethie day in and day out nonstop...HA!

Moving to Florida would mean that it would be just Howard sitting in a cat room with Beth taking tons of selfies all day and posting her usual headless selfies of Howard with a cat photoshopped into the picture on her Instagram site. I suppose Sirius would fund that studio inside the cat room so then the whole thing can be paid by Sirius and NSAL, and the rest of the house shut down with the power turned off since Howard can barely afford the lifestyle he has now, the corporate HQ of Beth in Manhattan with that phony adoption gimmick working with NSAL and fostering cats already adopted by a few pigeons in the New York area, then the Hamptons Hellhole with the cat room funded by NSAL, the rest of the house is Beth's personal barren mom cave, then Howard has his own village digs with the cute photog assistants coming and going delivering that "coffee" to the King of All Bullshit who has a problem with telling the truth, but everyone is used to that now, big deal, he is a phony copycat, trying to be Don Imus combined with Jay Leno.

Beth has copied everything Deirdre Imus has done except for getting a college degree and writing real books, not shit books with a phony animal gimmick and children's books when Beth has no children, oh right, Deirdre has a son, where is your son, BETH?? No kids, right? Wasn't this a condition of employment as Stern's wife? You would be fired, right, if that test tube actually produced a human embryo? Just asking, don't get upset.