Emily the Strange

Is it all clear on the Eastern seaboard? It seems that it was okay for Beth to sneak back into the big city since Emily is contained once again and garlic hung on the doors as a precaution. Emily is all excited and busy for once in her self absorbed life and is scouring the Internet to see all the press she is getting from her big publicity piece on Sunday in the NY Post about her big gallery showing of her shitty photography next week. Goddamn it to whomever invented that goddamned camera phone. Now every Stern on the planet thinks they are big time photographers with Beth being the "model" and you had better refer to big Beth as a model or you can just start counting backwards in your bank accounts. Beth was hovering above the coastline waiting for the Stern numerology signal that it was all clear to come back to Earth, "The Emily" was gone at least for now with Beth back to Stalag Beth in the Hamptons with Howard claiming, of course, they spent the night together on Monday when that is just a joke by now, I mean, we can't take anything Howard says siriusly at this point in his dull career.

Beth got the signal that Emily had left the area and it was safe to come back home. Yes, Howard confirmed Emily kept her promise and called Beth a model in print. Emily now gets a nice xmas bonus this year and it won't be a case of Yoda Gets A Buddy books I can tell you that much.

Beth didn't waste any time and was back to barking orders at her Castro-trained prison guards at Stalag Beth to start doling out the rations to the kitty cat prisoner photo props as she is up and running in front of that camera once again and posting like a mad woman on Instagram since that is all the woman has in her life. The endless treadmill of posting stupid cat photos while calling it charity work with her doper, I mean, dopey followers believing it and scrambling to buy her 32 page latest paper product that is fit for the NY sewer system as she continues to badger the public to "save lives" when the only life you are saving is Beth from having to work for a living and funding her own goddamned kitten center at the North Shore Animal League, in which she has been collecting public donations for about two years and counting since she recently stated that it won't even start to be built before 2017. So get to it public. Start digging out those dollar bills from your G-Strings and get off your backs and send Beth your golddigger money because she ain't spendin' hers. You gotta save those cats 'cause Beth couldn't care less. She just needs an endless supply of photo props while they are dying off beneath her wolf choppers.

11/9/15, hang onto that wig, Cate!
Jenner is having an identity crisis
deciding if she is a suicidal prom queen
or a beauty pageant mom with man
hands. Have the Robo Cops fixed
that faulty wiring in your left
eye yet?

With Crazy Beth being shuttled out of town so Howard could spend time with High Priestess Emily and craft her big press release for the NY Post, Beth missed some awesome red carpet events. One was on Monday night, Glamour Magazine's 25th Anniversary Women of the Year Awards in New York on November 9, 2015. Cate Jenner showed up looking like a giant man in a dress while Goldie Hawn showed up looking like they should have traded outfits.

11/9/15 Goldie looked pretty good
from a good distance.

11/9/15, Miss Piggy [right] came
with her mother.

11/9/15, real model and real beauty
Iman looked drop dead gorgeous.

The other big event was the Victoria's Secret fashion show on Tuesday night with who? Oh, Cate Jenner again! At least she wore something a bit better and showed off her very long tree stick bony legs. 

11/10/15 Cate at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in NY.
Everyone behind her was trying not to stare.

11/10/15, Ireland Baldwin at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and she forgot to get dressed.

Cover up the arthritic claws, ladies, gloves gloves gloves...no wonder Beth tried to market arm warmers, to hide her liver spots and arthritis. I can't tell which one used to be the guy and which one used to be the girl.

The photo of Beth is from October 20 and the photo of Caitlyn is from the Glamour awards event on November 9. Beth is terrified to share a red carpet with Jenner since they look like they are from the same transgender factory in Pittsburgh.

Happy Veteran's Day to all veterans which does not include Howard Stern who was in college for 10 years hiding from the draft and came out a goober DJ who couldn't string two words together without reading them off a script. Beth, on the other hand, reportedly served in Iraq as a sniper model.