The Taming of the Stern

Aside from all of Beth's freakish
proportions and fucked up eyes,
she has a gummy smile that she
normally controls with Botox
injections on the upper lip.

As this blogger has mentioned before, with the hiring of Turk the Jerk, Howard now has pre-approved scripted interviews with his boring celebrity guests or guess what, Howard ain't gettin' nobody through the doors of his stale satellite radio show. Oh yes, the taming of Howard Stern, the humbling into submission of Howard Stern who is desperate to keep his job on the radio or his wife will disappear since he plugs her cat charity gimmick all the time on his radio show and on his show website. We know if we get rid of Stern off the radio waves we will get rid of Beth O'Pariah who does nothing but constantly promote herself and she is famous for nothing and is unmarketable on Earth and should be sent to outer space and mate with Xenu so she can be the queen dictator of another solar system. There, I just presented Howard with an option for dumping wife #2. He can tell Perez Hilton that Beth left him for a dictator.  

Beth's big publicity gimmick appears to be spending all of the public donations from her personal foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends, on more products for herself as she brags about on her Instagram site. Like, useless pet adoption promo shirts, Yoda the cat plush toy, books, calendars, etc., all in a lame attempt to drag out the scam that her foundation is actually working on building a kitten center at the charity that pays Beth a salary, the North Shore Animal League when all Beth is working on is making Beth famous while Stern scrambles for content for his stale satellite radio show. They deserve each other, two losers headed for cellophane and shoved in a fridge in the leaky wine cellar of their careers.

Getting Things Done

But to keep Howard employed, he has been humbled into kissing the asses of celebrities and begging them to come into his studio when they are on their little plugola tours with their D List films and TV projects, if any, since all Howard can normally get into his studio is the parade of scientologists who rarely have any current projects to promote since they are aged cheeses and nobody cares anymore that an outer space dictator named Xenu dumped a bunch of aliens onto earth and destroyed them and the fallout infected humans with thetans [uh, yeah, that's what they believe].

As has been evident within the past year or so, Howard has his scripted interviews ready for immediate press release once that has-been star leaves the building, you know, the ones that are well past their Hollywood shelf life and are in their menopausal forties and beyond who need the press, and who pays for this promotion of the Stern show? Howard's PR budget, you know, the Siriusly deflated budget to promote his show, no not Howard's personal salary but the budget for the show to promote Stern's stale interviews across the Internet containing bombshells like Claire Dane's mom "had a trampoline in the living room" when Claire was a kid. Wow, stop the presses, gotta get that to the nearest news outlet to let non-Sirius subscribers know what they are missing when they decide to not pay to listen to the radio.

Claire Danes got her paid pigeon to carry the coffee as she wonders where her career went when she did the Stern show on Monday, October 5. Want the dish on the Danes? Okay, I guess I should say alleged so as not to alarm anyone but she loves the ladies and fights to hide it. Yes, Stern has a lesbian following since he loves the ladies' dresses and everyone thinks he married a giant lesbian providing Beth started out in this life as female. Danes was used and abused by men and of course dated everyone including Matt Damon [who hasn't] Billy Crudup and Ben Lee. That's Claire pictured with Ben Lee.

Hugh Jackman was also in New York on Monday with the coffee in hand as we wonder how he escaped doing the Stern show or maybe he taped a segment to be aired at another time since Howard hates to show up on a satellite for more than 16 hours per week, or two full days of taping interviews and going to meetings, whatever.

Now, nobody loves gorgeous Hugh Jackman more than this blogger except for his former personal assistant turned business partner John Palermo with the threesome [including Deb] forming a production company which led to major rumors that allegedly Hugh and Deb are swingers. Now that is a rumor, do not quote me even though it's all over the Internet. Yes, the Broadway star won two Tony Awards and I won't tell you how he got them but allegedly he was shagging his assistant John at the time along with...well, you get the inference here. No judgment; everyone loves Hugh.

Hugh gifted Deb and John with rings engraved with the word "unity" with the rumor
that Howard gifted Ralph and Beth with rings engraved with the word "grifter" 
although it's alleged that Ralph got Howard and Beth got the pre-nup.

Just look online, whenever a celeb leaves the Sirius building suddenly excerpts and highlights from the Stern show interview magically appear on various news outlets on the Internet. That is the only way Stern is staying afloat aboard his space ship. Gone is Howard TV since it wasn't national, you had to pay extra and have cable television to see the show and with Sirius satellite it's a pay service and limited and celebs want national press whenever they do the Stern show to promote their projects and it gets in print online or in some tabloid, otherwise, why do the Stern show? He has almost 0.0 listeners who aren't paid to listen like his back office staff.