Martian Chronicles II

Martian headed hero of the stupid Beth O'Fame Stalker loves posting photos of herself on Instagram showing her phantom fans that she was a mentally disabled child with a fug fat face with pea eyes, but where oh where are all her modeling photos? PAY modeling photos as in Beth getting paid to model something, not Beth's parents' having to pay to get their football headed fug monster into print somewhere for an advertisement. 

Beth has publicly stated in the past that she was in dozens of commercials advertising everything from Burger King to beer yet not one shred of evidence has emerged anywhere that Beth did any commercial work except for her one commercial after she was already living with Howard Stern where she played a retard version of a Vanna White-type character for Mastercard that was the laughing stock of the Internet and it had to be pulled from the airwaves in record time. 

Yes folks, Beth posted a photo of herself for Throwback Thursday on Instagram on 10-8-15 when she normally just posts those gawd awful phony airbrushed photos that Howard Stern takes of her so the idiot can pretend he married a model. Right Beth, all your imaginary fans would want to see you as a child as if you were Brooke Shields when in reality you were a giant unknown nobody desperate to be a model and actress. Beth has no photos from her young modeling days since I guess no one took the dolt's photo when she was badgering some mall shop owner to let her model fat prom dresses for plus size dateless idiots who get drunk on prom night and are banned from attending and who later never bother to show up for their High School graduation photo since they lie about their age anyway.

Well, in all fairness what about other people who made it into the limelight. What did they look like when they were kids? Well, no one can compare with Beth, that is for sure, Howard sure got himself a prize sideshow freak, no one is disputing that.

Pictured left is an intense young man who was fiercely intelligent and fiercely independent with dark brooding good looks and tons of gorgeous hair who became one of the biggest rock stars of all time with multiple platinum selling records. He is a multiple Grammy award nominee and has received numerous awards in metal music and the horror film genre. He is a screenwriter, composer, lyricist, producer, director, haunted house creator, you name it, this superstar has done it.

And what about the little darling pictured right? She was a famous child actress and her star kept rising as she gracefully transitioned into adult roles becoming an icon in the film industry before being discovered drowned in a lagoon off Catalina Island after being on a yacht with her husband and her costar from her last film where it has been reported she was having trouble staying faithful to the men in her life.

Be careful Howard with the Natalie Wood pill and caffeine diet especially with your nearness to the ocean in the Hamptons. Don't go getting into any screaming matches with the wife as you discover her in bed with a periscope up her ass and you race for the nearest dinghy in a blind panic and wash ashore somewhere on Long Island. She is in love with herself and that kitten scam she calls charity work, oh yes, selfies with cats is considered charity work since Beth collects public donations to do it. 

In wig news, Steven Spielberg seems to have purchased some new hair as it was falling out in record time only to re-emerge thicker and a weird color before settling on gray. Even though his mother was a scientologist, I don't think this is scientology hair because it isn't that painted black shoe polish look that most scientologists wear or that glued black hair transplanted into the head like Justin Theroux or Howard Stern.

Watch those hands, Vito. You
don't own her yet.

In wedding gossip, this blogger reported some time ago on the impending nuptials between Heidi Klum and her billionaire boy toy Vito Schnabel and that the pre-nup had been signed only to find out that the wedding offer is off the table, at least as far as Heidi is concerned. No pre-nup for Heidi, she wants the option of winner take all if the relationship should deteriorate leaving her to once again part with a huge chunk of her money that was slated for her children's futures. 

Well, I guess Heidi is sticking to her guns as the Queen of Halloween is gearing up for another huge bash, normally held in New York each year where she gets the elite class of guests from royals to shieks to moguls to everyone but Howard Stern who can no longer celebrate Halloween in his standard wig and heels since marrying Miss No Fun Zone, Kill Joy Beth, who wants the image that she married Mr. Straight and Narrow who could actually father children without a 112 thousand dollar intervention.

Friday Fun: Let's see if you can guess which one of these girls became a global superstar model and which one became a global superstar moron. Hint: One got the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine and one got the cover of a free magazine promoting the Hamptons because her husband bought property there.