Goodbye Hef

What Hugh Hefner fought so hard for, over 50 years ago is now being tossed aside by the new CEO of Playboy Magazine, Scott Flanders, having held the position since about 2009. Yes, the right to show women without clothes in the pages of a public magazine that was readily available on newsstands and at supermarkets right in the public's faces as well as by subscription through the US mail system, is now mothballed and a part of some past history that no one cares about. 

Howdy-Doody Scott Flanders
seems to like the boys
more than the girls.

It's in the news that Playboy will transition to photos of partially clad women and will no longer print fully naked women between its pages but three years ago it was already in the works with the new vanilla ice cream terrified CEO, Scott, the guy with no guts to keep its original format and no penchant for beautiful women, to officially make it a reality, that Playboy is now a magazine that wants to compete with mainstream magazines like Maxim or FHM and is seeking mainstream advertisers.

Marilyn was the ground-breaker admitting
the naked photos that had surfaced were in fact
her, even though her studio wanted her to lie and
say they were fake. Well, that era is over.

So, what happened to America? Don't know, everything is corporate now even Howard Stern, who would have been a fired shock jock with his stale naked girl Playboy evaluations as a front to get David Spade's flabby girlfriend a centerfold spread had he not evolved and was forced to eat crow and beg for a job in the corporate Sirius cloud with the vanilla interviews with stale celebrities fighting to stay relevant as Howard Stern was fighting to stay relevant and begging for a television job from Simon Cowell. Of course Mrs. Buzzkill, Beth O was happy with the change in Howard since she was terrified of being fired as wife #2 should anything under 40 years old and under 150 lbs come along and actually be interested in a barren life with Howard and pretend to love donating signs to stick on windows at obscure animal shelters in Florida and calling it charity work.

Finally it's the mainstream era of making dough and print magazines are suffering anyway since the Internet finally took hold and everything is at your fingertips, I mean, Marianne Garvey [Howard's personal friend and paid stooge] was fired from the NY Post because she kept printing phony articles worshipping Howard Stern, so onto the NY Daily News, a struggling paper with Garvey printing full page ads for Stern's wife, Miss Do Nothing hogging paper to get herself in print as some sort of celebrity. Right, the print version was quickly going bankrupt with all that Beth O coverage and it will morph into a cyber paper so Howard and Beth can have a field day with that, since no one knows who they are outside of NY, Howard is struggling to get back on television and become relevant again during summer filler season with Simon Cowell quaking in his boots, or on his yacht, or somewhere enjoying his life having to be reminded who Howard Stern is other than the guy who nearly destroyed the ratings for his show "America's Got Talent".

Beth is getting her wigs and bras all laid out on her bed thinking this is her chance to be in Playboy...well, not so fast honey:

No more nudity for Playboy opens the door to Caitlyn!! Wow, maybe SCOTT loves the transgender lesbian gay straight look? Hope springs eternal for the new supermodel Cait Jenner to now grace the centerfold of Playboy magazine since he fancies himself straight with a dress and wig who loves women or gay men or transgender men [whatever the fuck he likes] much like his partner in wigs, makeup and dresses, Howard Stern...let's dance!!

Welcome to the new Playboy folks! Will the trannies finally get their way and get a centerfold since no one will pay to see them naked anyway?

Back in the day, Bo Derek's perfect face was enough to sell magazines and her issues are top sellers and in demand to this day that revealed her naturally perfect form. All of her photos were expertly taken by her husband John Derek, allegedly in the closet who was rumored to be clumsy in bed with his wives with Bo labeled by certain sources as "frigid". Sources say her on-camera sex scenes were real because John hand-picked the handsome male stars and liked to watch. Okay, calm down, let's move on.

I know, can you believe Bo and Beth are both supposed to be women?

It's almost Halloween folks, just when Howard is under stress fighting to find work on television having to dash to his closet to find some nice fluffy sweater and a short skirt with tennies to calm down and have a bit of fun playing ball with his long time companion Ralph, who is tasked with having to plan a private party with Howard's buzzkill wife who hates Halloween since she wants to be the hot chick in the room and is jealous of Helen Stern.

Change it up Sterns, take it from Fallon and all go as Prince this year to your standard boring Halloween party you throw for your agents in the Hamptons:

WHO IS DAME BETH-MAN YOU ASK? STOP ASKING. YOU WON'T GET AN ANSWER. LIFE IS FILLED WITH DISAPPOINTMENTS; GET USED TO IT.