Goodbye, Howard...

...don't let the Beth Fan Page hit you in the ass on your way out the door. According to Howard, he is finished with his SiriusXM job this year and won't be re-signing. Of course it makes sense, especially since his former buddy Mel Karmazin was kicked out by the new major shareholder of the company, the Liberty Media Corporate Chairman Monster Malone. Malone saved SiriusXM from disappearing into outer space forever by acquiring the company and then expanded its content by adding the NFL, NASCAR and other sports channels, along with CNBC and Bloomberg for news. SiriusXM also offers special limited run programming like the Billy Joel Channel and Russell Brand's comedy channel [who was rumored a few years back to be replacing Stern], along with new shows like Andy Cohen's celebrity and pop culture show called Radio Andy on Ch 102.

Mel Karmazin got Beth the
animal charity gimmick with
his pet charity, the North
Shore Animal League
since he is a sponsor.

We know it has been reported that Howard's terrestrial radio show cost about one hundred million to produce annually, with Stern walking away with about 30 million annually plus syndication and cable channel deals. The one hundred million was the number he presented to Sirius almost 10 years ago which included paying for an actual brand new studio, the operating expenses and some staff salaries, including his own salary which various sources guestimate to be anywhere from about 60 - 80 million annually with a  famehound wife who lays on her back all day since that is the only training she ever got from her handlers who got her placed squarely in Howard Stern's scripted life to play wife #2 and experts, insiders, and sources say she is costing Howard approximately eight million per year in expenses to make her famous and keep her mug in the press and out of a police line-up. 

However, it is no secret both satellite companies were tanking big time after hiring Howard, and all that money to pay him to come to satellite has been a model to future businesses of what not to do. Even the merger was concocted between Sirius and XM didn't help the failing satellite radio business. So, SiriusXM had to offer the sports and news channels as well as special paid programming by musical artists and of course the new car deals which basically pulled the newly merged companies out of a sink hole and Stern hardly matters at this point.

What should Howard do next with his life? Well, he was kicked off free TV once again and his wife is just running around her cage at Stalag Beth in the Hamptons in a frenzy until she passes out flat on her back for hours in the middle of the day and is obsessed with selfies on her Instagram site with her life going nowhere fast. She has missed out on several Hamptons events over the past five years or so, and even failed to parade on many red carpets, like the Cinema Society events where she is now almost never seen, and she missed the opening of the Met Opera season this year when her normal date Katie Lee has been ditching Beth and pursuing her own life with her show on the Food Network and writing her books of disgusting food she is selling to the public that she never touches.

Brooke and her husband at the opening
of the Met Opera season 9/21/15.

Brooke Shields showed up with a strange thing called a "husband" to the opening of the Metropolitan Opera season in New York on September 21, 2015. Beth only showed up with Katie Lee in the past since Beth has no husband, well, at least not one that lives with her on a regular basis but poses for headless photos in the Hamptons while waiting for his limo to take him back to his apt in NY.

Last year, Beth on a date night
with Katie Lee attended the opening of the
Met Opera season on 9/22/14.

Will we miss Howard and Beth from the constant media attention? Will they really go away and thereby shut down the Beth Fan Page? We know his pet paper the NY Daily News is tanking and facing bankruptcy with writers being fired but since Howard subsidizes Marianne Garvey's paycheck, her job is safe and getting Beth those giant photos in the paper, the do-nothing wife of Howard Stern holding a kitty cat gets press is just amazing. But, we know that is why the paper needs to be bailed out and Howard is just the guy to do it, gotta keep up the fantasy he married a celebrity, Beth O'Nothing who got offered nothing in her life but extra cheese on her nacho.

Beth shown on 9/23/15 can't stay vertical for
more than a few hours at one time as she looks to be on a
selfie crash and burn in the Hamptons on selfie lockdown.

Now that Howard seems to be parachuting out of a satellite and will be landing back on Earth soon, he can now have his own podcast and constantly plug his fug wife and all her awesome selfies and shitty selfie books lying flat on her back and looking like a sick fish out of water drowning in her own flashbulbs of a nonexistent career. Oh, she sees a lot of people since she has a beautiful mind...she sees dead people, she sees fans, she sees television job offers....poor thing. We hope Howard gets some type of job on television or on the Internet or Beth just might jump from the sinking stern of her ship and might start blowing Andy Cohen. Hey, he has his own TV talk show and a satellite radio show, right? Just asking.

Beth wishes she had Simon's Cat [simonscat.com]

Yoda the Cat going nowhere with Howard getting stuck pre-ordering 10,000 copies of Yoda and His Buddy and Howard is having anxiety attacks over how to keep his wife in the press and her failing kitten charity gimmick going for another five years of pre-nup hell.