Diets That Should Be Kept Secret

When will Robin Quivers print a
retraction book since she has stated she
is no longer vegan even though
it saved her life. Why Robin? Too fat
to keep up the lies? 

Regular listeners [ha ha ha ha ha] of the Howard Stern stale satellite radio show where Howard reads a bunch of commercials plugging various products to pad his dwindling Siriusly deflated annual salary, can pick up stupid diet tips from Howard himself and of course from his invisible sidekick Robin Quivers, the woman who published a book of vegan recipes that saved her life and paraded on a bunch of talk shows saying publicly that she is vegan, is now gobbling down oceans of fish along with buckets of spicy Thai chicken on her weekend binges avoiding white flour while mounted on a NASA cushion in the middle of her living room waiting for Howard to be back on the air, with Robin most of the time sitting home and phoning in her banter while Howard talks to a wall since he hates anyone to interrupt him anyway and loves finally being the lone star of his radio show while endlessly plugging his wife's junk jewelry, books and calendars and pretending it's for charity when all it does is benefit Beth by keeping her name constantly in paid press items. 

Robin Quivers shops at Whole Foods for fusilli pasta that she glues onto her head. 
Whole foods, you know, whole cows, chickens, pigs, horses, sheep, elk, etc.,
and still maintains she had cancer, lapband cancer, Robin? 
 

Robin, on most days, is hovering above her living room who thinks having zero gravity means she can eat boat loads of food delivered by all those young boys that have been seen coming and going from her apartment in Manhattan. A few times a month Robin has to show up in the studio for a long day of pre-recording interviews so basically, Howard is in the studio about two days per week. He then skates out to race to his new Beth O-free digs and starts badgering people who have television shows to let him make an appearance and hopefully harass someone into letting him have his own show while his long time companion Ralph Cirella chooses his lounging gowns and lets out Howard's pants or lets the men out of Howard's pants, whatever, I might have overheard that tidbit incorrectly, but Ralph lets something out involving Howard's pants. Oh yes, Howard often talks about his strict dieting to maintain his bizarre body featuring a huge stomach that he can hardly hide under layers of clothing with the button of his jacket about to pop off as he barely made it through his final season of America's Got Talent holding his breath for the last thirty days of live shows. 

And what about the prize model he married? Oh, she has a full day of selfies lying flat on her back in various poses of insanity while she guzzles some of that Starbucks coffee that she used to say she never drank. Oh yes, the evolved Beth now says she drinks coffee when she used to say only gallons of Starbucks Chai Tea Latte would pass through those nicotine lips. And to maintain her bizarre proportions, she downs that frozen pizza that she heats up along with Clooney wine and meditates on how lucky she is and then dives into a bathtub for more selfies and spinning until her captured feral kittens are put to bed. Yes, Beth believes cats go to bed at night like people and is completely unaware they are nocturnal and like to sleep during the day, which Beth interrupts with constantly throwing them around the kitten room at Stalag Beth and having The Help super glue them to her body until Beth gets tired and decides to crash and burn in the nearest guest room since navigating any stairs is out of the question or we might have another Sunny on Howard's hands with a lot of explaining to do, with Ralph being called in as an expert witness to testify to the fact Howard and Beth do not live together and he got Howard while Beth got the pre-nup.

Beth, from left to right, at America's Got Talent red carpet events, 2015, 2014, and two from 2013 since Howard failed to get her in the contract for 2012.

Crimes against sanity, oh yes, there needs to be a law about truth in Instagramming as these two are felons with the photoshopping and bizarre expressions that would frighten Rosemary's baby back into the womb. 

Notice the drawn line in the photoshopped photo on the top left to give Howard a jawline and the skin is smoothed out to make him look young. Oh yes, all of BETH'S proceeds go to the North Shore Animal League (NSAL or Animal League), not to the real author or the artist of Beth's upcoming book, they are collecting their fees, they are donating nothing but to their own bank accounts. Beth has all of her proceeds donated to Beth since her foundation is building a kitten center at NSAL. So there you go, buy Beth's book and she gets all your money as part of her salary as a NSAL spokesperson and getting a salary from her foundation.

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Happy Tuesday Beth Fans, as we suffer through more of Howard and Beth's desperate attempts at fame and horning in on television shows that keep trying to dodge the two desperadoes but everyone is not sure how dangerous they are so they break down and let them on their TV shows and be done with it and have security standing by or they won't leave the studio.

#ds #sirius #sfn #robinquivers #beth #howard #sirius