Beth O's Fans Speak Out

Emissaries from the Beth Ostrosky Official Fan Club [Space Camp #112] have contacted this blogger and I have agreed to give them a forum and to be heard. Intergalactic communication via one of SiriusXM's satellites have enabled Beth's spaced out fan base to contact me and they want Howard Stern to know that they want to see a Beth O Bikini & Kittens calendar in 2016. 

I have informed them via a language translator consisting of two cans and a string with a personality test on the side, that Beth has done several calendars in the past and only her mom and Howard Stern bought them. Howard finally had to buy the remaining unsold inventory and pretended the public bought them, aside from all the ones he purchased and sent to his staff and family members, including Robin Quivers, his invisible satellite radio show sidekick who reads the news whenever Howard decides to show up at his satellite radio studio and air some pre-recorded interview with a D List celeb and pretend it's live. The aliens just love Robin, I mean, an invisible sidekick who fucks up the news is just awesome to listeners circling the globe including all those thousands of unsold new cars sitting on lots and docks across the nation with the radios turned off.

Well, what can I say. Beth is a hit in outer space and Howard may want to purchase a one way ticket to the moon to meet her fans halfway and maybe they can make her a star since they have a bunch of free magazines that Earth has never heard of, it would give Beth more chances at being famous. This blogger would never step on Beth's star, even if it's a burnt out dead death star, a  star is a star, let her keep trying since it's so much fun making fun of the dolt.

I was told that the space creatures have tried to make contact with Beth but when they landed in the ocean and approached her house, she was already passed out cold at the dinner table with what looked like the remains of a meal consisting of pizza bread with turkey burgers and Clooney wine with diet pills.

What do the aliens love about the Sterns? They love Beth's bucked teeth, chin implant and yellow hair and that she looks like a pieced together lab experiment, what with the left eye that was placed in her head crooked and that she's knock-kneed and pigeon toed with having reportedly six toes on her left foot [they were disappointed when I told them that the sixth toe had been removed years ago]. Even though they do not have an official Howard Stern fan club, they like his frozen frizz pyramid hair and believe that he could be an awesome judge on "Mars Has No Talent", which is in its 8th season on the space cadet broadcasting network.

Beth is still hiding out with her family in the Hamptons and missed out on a charity event she has attended in the past, the Bow Wow Meow Ball held on August 15, sponsored by the Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons with their star host Brooke Shields stealing Beth's thunder by posing with a bunch of dogs and jumping in front of cameras as she was the center of attention all evening.

While Beth states on her Instagram site that she is dumping more cats onto their "forever" homes we wonder when Beth will be delivered to her forever mental home as the grown menopausal woman is crying crocodile tears pretending kittens are the babies she can't have and still reads Winnie the Pooh and quotes him. I mean, this is getting scary as Howard Stern barely stops by Stalag Beth now without a bodyguard.